TNG Watches TNG
by Dan1007
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if the TNG crew watched the series? This is that story!
1. Encounter at Farpoint Part I

TNG Watches TNG

**A/N: Hi guys! So I'm starting a new series of stories that has the TNG crew watching **

**TNG episodes and the four TNG movies. Here's the first installment:**

Chapter 1: Encounter at Farpoint Part I

John-Luc Picard sat in his chair in his ready room aboard the _Enterprise-E_, which had just docked in the dry dock. He was tired, having just defeated his clone, with the help of the Romulans. He was looking for a distraction- maybe some nice tea would do the trick. He got up and walked over to the replicator.

"Tea, Ear Grey, hot," demanded Picard. There was a gentle flash of light, and a cup of tea appeared in the dispenser. He sipped the warm liquid, and felt a rush of relaxation as it slid down his throat. He returned to his desk, and rotated the monitor, and began to pour over some data. He was so involved in his work; he almost didn't hear the door ring. It rang again.

"Come in," announced Picard. In walked Deanna Troi. "Ah Deanna, what can I do for you?"

"Well I was wondering what I could do for you," she responded in her usual counselor tone. Picard frowned, as the memory of Data came back to him. He'd tried to block it out all afternoon, with only minimal success.

"Data," said Picard, his thoughts elsewhere.

"I know. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, no, I have…some… business to attend to," stuttered Picard.

"No Captain, what you need is a break. You've hardly had one since before the Farpoint mission," reminded Troi. Picard frowned. "Don't make me get Beverly up here to order to rest." Picard nodded.

"Alright, One day," he bargained. Troi smiled.

"Come with me. Will and I have found something very funny to watch."

"Oh no, this better not turn into another one of you love fests," warned Picard. "That's just too weird for me. He is still my First Officer, and you are still the Ship's Counselor."

"I promise. It won't turn into that- at least until you're gone. And if Will has any ideas…"

"Deanna! Please!"

"Sorry Captain. Now, shall we?" The two walked out of the ready room, and onto the Turbo Lift.

"Deck 5," said Troi.

"Deck 5?" asked Picard.

"You are going to spend some time in the Hollow Deck." Picard groaned. They stepped out of the Turbo Lift, and walked down a series of corridors. Finally, they ready the panel outside of the Hollow Deck.

"Computer, run program Troi Movie 1," asked Troi.

"What's this about a movie? Isn't that from the early 21st century?"

"Program ready. Enter when ready," said the Computer. Troi ignored Picard, and marched inside. And inside was an enormous screen, and several rows of seats in front of it.

"This is a movie theater. This _is_ from the 21st century. A movie would generally last 2-3 hours. But we aren't going to watch a movie. _We_ are going to watch what was called a 'TV show' which would generally last only an hour. A two-part episode might last two hours. I have found one TV show which you might find interesting."

"Well, it definitely sounds like you have done your homework. Very well. What is your TV show called?"

"Star Trek: The Next Generation," she said confidently.

"What's a star trek?" asked Picard, mind boggled.

"Star Trek: The Next Generation is part of a franchise, with the umbrella name being Star Trek. Over the course of 50 years, there were several different types of Star Trek. There was Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager, and Star Trek Enterprise- not to mention 13 feature film: The Motion Picture, The Wrath of Khan, The Search For Spock, The Voyage Home,…"

"I think I got the point. But what's this about Khan, Spock, DS9, and Enterprises. Were these people fortune tellers or something?"

"Well, I wouldn't necessarily call them 'fortune tellers, but they did get a surprising amount right."

"Well lets watch this 'Star Trek'," conceded Picard. At that moment, Will Riker walked in.

"Ah, just in time! I just finished my spiel about Star Trek!" said Troi, excitedly.

"So what is this episode called again?" asked Riker.

"It's called Encounter at Farpoint. It's the pilot episode- or first episode- in the series."

"Well let's get this over with," said Picard, dryly.

"Computer, show Star Trek: The Next Generation, episode 1: Encounter at Farpoint," said Troi. There was a flash of light, and then the show started. On the screen, there was an image of a bald man, in a red uniform, on some kind of lift, in the Engineering section of a ship.

C_aptain's log, Stardate: 41153.7. Our destination is planet Deneb Four, beyond which lies the great unexplored mass of the galaxy. My orders are to examine Farpoint, a Starbase built there by the inhabitants of that world. Meanwhile, I am becoming better acquainted with my new command, this Galaxy Class USS Enterprise. I am still somewhat in awe of its size and complexity. As for my crew, we are short in several key positions, most notably a first officer, but I am informed that a highly experienced man, one Commander William Riker, will be waiting to join our ship at our Deneb Four destination._

"What the Hell are you showing us?" demanded Picard.

"This is outrageous! How do they know my name? Oh, and let me guess, You and I get married in the 10th movie of the series!" shouted Riker at Troi.

"Shh, just watch!" begged Troi.

_PICARD: You will agree, Data, that Starfleet's orders are difficult? _

Everyone froze at the mention of Data, as they were suddenly thrust back into the sadness of reality.

_DATA: Difficult? Simply solve the mystery of Farpoint Station. _

_PICARD: As simple as that. _

_TROI: Farpoint Station. Even the name sounds mysterious._

"Whoa Deanna, I didn't remember you looking THAT good eight years ago," teased Riker, who received a well-deserved punch from Troi. 

_PICARD: It's hardly simple, Data, to negotiate a friendly agreement for Starfleet to use the base while at the same time snoop around finding how and why the life form there built it. _

_DATA: Inquiry. The word snoop?_

They all laughed.

"Ah, good old Data," reminisced Riker.

_PICARD: Data, how can you be programmed as a virtual encyclopedia of human information without knowing a simple word like snoop? _

_DATA: Possibility, a kind of human behavior I was not designed to emulate. _

_PICARD: It means to spy, to sneak. _

_DATA: Ah! To seek covertly, to go stealthily, to slink, slither _

_PICARD: Exactly, yes. _

_DATA: Glide, creep, skulk, pussyfoot, gumshoe. _

"Was Data really like that initially?" asked Riker, who indeed was not there until the _Enterprise-D_ reached Farpoint Station.

"Well not exactly…," started Picard 

"Shh!" demanded Troi

"Jeez," muttered Riker, who received another well-deserved punch from Troi.

_TROI: Captain, I'm sensing a powerful mind. _

_(Collision alert sounds) _

_TORRES: Something strange on the detector circuits. _

_(A massive barrier appears in front of them in space) _

_DATA: It registers as solid, Captain. _

"If this is Q, then I'll…" Picard drifted off.

_TROI: Or an incredibly powerful forcefield. But if we collide with either it could be very _

_PICARD: Shut off that damned noise. Go to Yellow Alert._

"Damn Captain! Did you really say that?" asked Riker, smiling.

"Yes," said Picard, astonished. "So far they've gotten almost everything right!"

_WORF: Shields and deflectors up, sir. _

_(The barrier ripples like chain mail) _

_PICARD: Reverse power, full stop. _

_TORRES: Controls to full stop, sir. Now reading full stop, sir. _

_(There's a flash of light, and an Elizabethan era soldier appears, complete with breast plate and plumed hat) _

_Q: Thou are notified that thy kind hath infiltrated the galaxy too far already. Thou art directed to return to thine own solar system immediately._

"You've got to be kidding me!" said Picard.

"Is that Q? Did he really appear like that?" asked Riker.

"Yes," said Troi. "And enough of your questions!"

_PICARD: That's quite a directive. Would you mind identifying what you are? _

_Q: We call ourselves the Q. Or thou mayst call me that. It's all much the same thing. _

_(The same force barrier stops two people exiting the Turbo Lift) _

_(And the helmsman is frozen solid, phaser in hand)_

"Damn," said Riker.

_PICARD: Data, call medics. _

_TROI: He's frozen. _

_PICARD: He would not have injured you. Do you recognise this, the stun setting? _

_Q: Knowing humans as thou dost, Captain, wouldst thou be captured helpless by them? Now, go back or thou shalt most certainly die._

"So this is what you meant when you said Q believed humans to be a savage race," question Riker.

"If this is going where I think it's going, then you haven't seen the half of it scoffed Picard.

_Captain's log, supplementary. The frozen form of Lieutenant Torres has been rushed to sickbay. The question now is the incredible power of the Q being. Do we dare oppose it? _

_[Bridge] _

_Q: Captain, thy little centuries go by so rapidly. Perhaps thou will better understand this. _

_(A flash of light and he is wearing a 20th century US military uniform, with a cigarette in his hand) _

_Q: Actually, the issue at stake is patriotism. You must return to your world and put an end to the commies. All it takes is a few good men. _

_PICARD: What? That nonsense is centuries behind us. _

_Q: But you can't deny that you're still a dangerous, savage child race. _

_PICARD: Most certainly I deny it. I agree we still were when humans wore costumes like that, four hundred years ago_.

"You tell him Johnny!" cheered Riker.

"Deanna, please punch Riker again," said Picard. Troi happily complied.

_Q: At which time you slaughtered millions in silly arguments about how to divide the resources of your little world. And four hundred years before that you were murdering each other in quarrels over tribal god-images. Since there are no indications that humans will ever change. _

_PICARD: But even when we wore costumes like that we'd already started to make rapid progress. _

_Q: Oh yeah? You want to review your rapid progress? _

_(Flash, and a change into a padded suit) _

_Q: Rapid progress, to where humans learned to control their military with drugs. _

_WORF: Sir, sickbay reports Lieutenant Torres's condition is better. _

_Q: Oh, concern for one's fellow comrade. How touching. _

_WORF: And now a personal request, sir. Permission to clean up the bridge. _

"Yeah Worf-y!" cheered Riker again.

"What's this about Worf," asked Worf. The half-Klingon entered the Hollow Deck. "I thought I might join you."

"Of course. Have a seat," said Troi.

_TASHA: Lieutenant Worf is right, sir. As Security Chief I can't just stand here and let_

_PICARD: Yes you can, Lieutenant Yar._

"What the Hell are you watching?" asked Worf.

"Computer, pause program," said Troi, who launched into her spiel again.

"Interesting," said Worf.

"That's two ghosts in one day," said Picard dryly, at the sight of Yar.

_Q: (taking a snort of something) Oh, better. And later, on finally reaching deep space, humans of course found enemies to fight out there too. And to broaden those struggles you again found allies for still more murdering. The same old story, all over again. _

_PICARD: No. The same old story is the one we're meeting now. Self-righteous life forms who are eager not to learn but to prosecute, to judge anything they don't understand or can't tolerate. _

_Q: What an interesting idea. Prosecute and judge. Suppose it turns out we understand you humans only too well. _

_PICARD: We've no fear of what the true facts about us will reveal. _

_Q: Facts about you? Splendid, splendid, Captain! You're a veritable fountain of good ideas. There are preparations to make, but when we next meet, Captain, we'll proceed exactly as you suggest. _

_(A flash and he is gone) _

_WORF: Sir, respectfully submit our only choice is to fight. _

Worf smiled at his portrayal's act of honor.

_TASHA: Fight, or try to escape. _

_PICARD: Sense anything, Commander? _

_TROI: Its mind is much too powerful. Recommend we avoid contact. _

"I wish we'd taken your advice," said Picard, half-laughing.

_PICARD: From this point, no station aboard, repeat no station, for any reason will make use of transmitted signals or intercom. We'll try and take them by surprise. Let's see what this galaxy class starship can do. (to Worf) Lieutenant, inform engine room to prepare for maximum acceleration. _

_WORF: Aye, sir. _

_PICARD: Records search, Data. Results of detaching saucer section at high warp velocity. _

_DATA: Inadvisable at any warp speed, sir. _

_PICARD: Search theoretical. _

_DATA: It is possible, sir. But absolutely no margin for error. _

_PICARD: Using print-out only, notify all decks to prepare for maximum acceleration. Now hear this, Maximum, you're entitled to know, means that we'll be pushing our engines well beyond safety limits. Our hope is to surprise whatever that is out there, try and outrun it. Our only other option is to tuck tail between our legs and return to Earth as they demand. _

"Any regrets on that decision," asked Riker, teasing. Picard scowled.

_(Worf makes his trip to Engineering and back) _

_WORF: Engine room ready, sir. _

_TROI: The board shows green, Captain. All go. _

_PICARD: Stand by. Engage. _

_(They swoop along and past the barrier, which then turns into a ball and chases them) _

_WORF: Velocity warp nine point two. _

_DATA: Heading three five one mark eleven, sir. _

_PICARD: Steady on that. _

_TASHA: The hostile is now giving chase, sir. Accelerating fast. _

_WORF: We're now at warp nine point three, sir, which takes us past the red line, sir._

"What are you doing at Con?" asked Riker to Worf. Worf sneered at Riker, who raised his hands in defense.

_PICARD: Continue accelerating. Counsellor, at this point I'm open to guesses about what we've just met. _

_TROI: It it felt like something beyond what we'd consider a life form. _

_PICARD: Beyond? _

_TROI: Very, very advanced, sir, or certainly very, very different._

"If Q were here, he defiantly would remind us that he's OMNIPOENT," mocked Riker.

"What's this about ifs?" asked Q as he appeared.

"Ah shit," muttered Picard.

"What John-Luc, not happy to see me? Oh, and, YES! I am omnipotent!" rejoiced Q.

"Shut up!" said Worf boldly. "Can't you see we're watching something.

"My apologies, bumpy forehead!"

_WORF: We're at nine point four, sir. _

_TASHA: Hostile is now beginning to overtake us, sir. _

_PICARD: Are you sure? _

_DATA: Hostile's velocity is already warp nine point six, sir. Shall I put them on the main viewer? _

_PICARD: Reverse angle._

"Ah, good memories, wouldn't you agree John-Luc," mocked Q.

_DATA: Magnifying viewer image. _

_TASHA: Hostile's velocity is nine point seven, sir. _

_PICARD: Worf, inform the engine room we need more. _

_DATA: Engine room attempting to comply, sir, but they caution us _

_PICARD: Go to yellow alert. Arm aft photon torpedoes. Place them on ready status. _

_TASHA: Torpedoes to ready, sir. _

_TASHA: Hostile now at warp nine point eight, sir. _

_WORF: Our velocity is only nine point five, sir. _

_DATA: Projection, sir. We may be able to match hostile's nine point eight, sir. But at extreme risk. _

_TASHA: Now reading the hostile at warp nine point nine, sir. _

_PICARD: Now hear this. Print-out message, urgent, all stations on all decks. Prepare for emergency saucer sever. You will command the saucer section, Lieutenant._

"Oh yes! I remember your clever attempt at saving civilians John-Luc!"

"So that's how it severed!" said Riker.

_WORF: I am a Klingon, sir. For me to seek escape when my Captain goes into battle. _

_PICARD: You are a Starfleet officer, Lieutenant. _

_WORF: Aye, sir. _

_PICARD: Make the mark, Data. Note in ship's log that at this startime, I'm transferring command to the battle bridge. (Picard, Data, Yar and Troi leave the Bridge to unnamed crew) _

"Oh, you humans make everything SO dramatic," said Q. Everyone ignored him.

_Captain's log, stardate 41153.7. Preparing to detach saucer section. so that families and the majority of the ship's company can seek relative safety while the vessel's stardrive, containing the battle bridge and main armaments, will turn back and confront the mystery that is threatening us. _

_[Battle Bridge] _

_(Families of various races make their way along corridors as the bridge crew settle into a more compact Bridge) _

_PICARD: Lieutenant, your torpedoes must detonate close enough to the hostile to blind it at the moment we separate. _

_TASHA: Understood, sir. _

_TROI: All decks acknowledging, sir. _

_PICARD: Worf, this is the Captain. _

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD [OC]: At the moment of separation, we will reverse power just enough to get your saucer section out ahead and clear of us. _

_WORF: Understood, Captain. _

_[Battle Bridge] _

_TASHA: Torpedoes away, sir. _

_(Eight red dots shoot out from the stern) _

_PICARD: Begin countdown. Mark. _

_DATA: Starship separation in six, five, four, three, two, one. _

_(Gracefully, the huge saucer lifts away from the body of the ship) _

_DATA: Separation is successful, sir._

"Ooh, I like the music!" said Q.

"It is rather catchy," said Worf. Riker laughed.

"Oh, you agree with me Klingon!" shouted Q in excitement. Worf snarled.

_TASHA: Torpedoes have detonated, sir. _

_PICARD: Let's come to a stop. Reverse power. _

_DATA: Reverse power. Decelerating. _

_PICARD: Dead stop. We'll hold this position and wait for them_

"Oh John-Luc! You did like me! You just wanted to give the impression of extreme loathing, but you did like me!" Q rejoiced. He hugged Picard from behind.

_TROI: That will bring them here in just minutes, sir. _

_TASHA: Will we make a fight of it, Captain? If we can at least damage their ship we'll have a chance _

_PICARD: Lieutenant, are you recommending we fight a life form that can do all those things? I'd like to hear your advice. _

_TASHA: I spoke before I thought, sir. We should look for some way to distract them from going after the saucer. _

_O'BRIEN: All forward motion stopped, sir. _

_PICARD: Thank you, conn. Commander, signal the following in all languages and on all frequencies. We surrender. State that we are not asking for any terms or conditions. _

_TROI: Aye, sir. All language forms and frequencies. _

_(The ball reaches them and surrounds them with it's barrier. The ship shakes) _

_[Courtroom] _

_(The crew find themselves in a room with a noisy audience. One of the future soldiers that Q pretended to be, fires his machine gun for silence. An Oriental man takes charge) _

_BAILIFF: The prisoners will all stand._

"Oh goody! I've been waiting for this part! It was SO much fun, wasn't it 'ol Johnny?" asked Q excitedly.

_(Picard sits down) _

_DATA: Historically intriguing, Captain. Very, very accurate. _

_PICARD: Mid twenty first century. The post-atomic horror. _

_BAILIFF: All present, stand and make respectful attention to honored Judge_

"Yeah, that's me bitches!" gloated Q.

_TROI: Careful, sir. This is not an illusion or a dream. _

_PICARD: But these courts happened in the past. _

_TROI: I don't understand either, but this is real. _

_SOLDIER: Get to your feet, criminals! _

_(From the distance, a spotlight reveals a figure approaching, dressed in red, and sitting on a throne carried on hydraulics for effect)_

"I picked out that outfit special for you John-Luc!" said Q. "I do hope you liked it!"

_DATA: At least we are acquainted with the judge, Captain. _

_(Q gestures the crowd to sit) _

_SOLDIER: Attention! On your feet. Attention! _

_(Tasha disarms him) _

_Q: (to soldier) You are out of order. (another soldier kills him) The prisoners will not be harmed until they are found guilty. Dispose of that. _

_PICARD: Can we assume you mean this will be a fair trial? _

_Q: Yes, absolutely equitable. Proceed._

"And it was, wasn't it?" asked Q, who as usual, was ignored. "Don't tell me you disagree Johnny?"

_BAILIFF: Before this gracious court now appear these prisoners to answer for the multiple and grievous savageries of their species. How plead you, criminal? _

_DATA: If I may, Captain? Objection, your honour. In the year 2036, the new United Nations declared that no Earth citizen could be made to answer for the crimes of his race or forbears. _

_Q (JUDGE): Objection denied. This is a court of the year 2079, by which time more rapid progress had caused all United Earth nonsense to be abolished. _

_PICARD: Tasha, no. _

_TASHA: I must! Because I grew up on a world that allowed things like this court. And it was people like these that saved me from it. This so-called court should get down on its knees to what Starfleet is, what it represents. _

_(Q freezes Tasha)_

"Oh, I remember that. It was SO much fun," said Q gleefully.

"Is that all you ever say," asked Worf impatiently.

_TROI: You barbarian! This woman _

_BAILIFF: Criminals keep silence! _

_PICARD: You've got a lot to learn about humans if you think you can torture us or frighten us into silence. Will she live? _

_DATA: Uncertain. When he froze Lieutenant Torres on the Bridge, we had our Sickbay to help thaw him out. _

_BAILIFF: You will answer the charges, criminals. _

_PICARD: Or what? Or this? Her death? Or worse? You promised the prisoners will not be harmed. We plead nothing so long as you break your own rules. _

_Q: I suggest you centre your attention on this trial, Captain. It may be your only hope. _

_PICARD: I suggest you are now having second thoughts it. You are considering that if you conduct a fair trial, which was your promise, you may lose. _

_Q: Lose? _

_PICARD: Yes, even though you're judge and prosecutor. _

_Q: And jury. _

_PICARD: Accepted, so long as you keep to your agreement. And assaulting prisoners is hardly a fair trial. _

_Q: This is a merciful court. (Tasha is thawed) Silence! Continuing these proceedings, I must caution you that legal trickery is not permitted. This is a court of _

_PICARD: court of fact! We humans know our past, even when we're ashamed of it. I recognise this court system as the one that agreed with that line from Shakespeare. Kill all the lawyers. _

_Q: Which was done. _

_PICARD: Which led to the rule guilty until proven innocent. _

_Q: Of course. Bringing the innocent to trial would be unfair. You will now answer to the charge of being a grievously savage race._

"And the verdict is still undecided, John-Luc," warned Q.

"Damn it Q! I save the whole damn universe, and all of humanity with it, and that's still not good enough for you."

"The judge is always out on everyone. Isn't that the point of existence?" posed Q.

"Yes, but it's so much more! Life is not simply about how you are viewed by some higher life forms, but how you are viewed by those you care about, and most importantly yourself. Life is passing along traditions and spiritual rituals. Life is race, ethnicity, diversity, species, and everything else that makes and individual and individual. Because without everyone being different, then why exist?" Picard demanded intensely. Q clapped slowly.

"Amen John-Luc. Amen. I would love to stay, but I'm off to torment some other species. Until next time John-Luc! Goodbye." And with that, Q disappeared. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"I hope there isn't a next time," muttered Worf. Everyone laughed.

"I heard that Klingon!" said the voice of Q.

"Can we continue?" asked Troi.

_PICARD: Grievously savage could mean anything. I will answer only specific charges. _

_Q: Are you certain you want a full disclosure of human ugliness? So be it, fool! Present the charges. _

_BAILIFF: Criminal, you will read the charges to the court. _

_(Picard takes his time to read the pad that is handed to him, then gives it back) _

_PICARD: I see no charges against us, Your Honor. _

_Q: You are out of order! _

_(Guns are placed at Data and Troi's heads) _

_Q: Soldiers, you will press those triggers if this criminal answers with any word other than guilty. Criminal, how plead you? _

_PICARD: Guilty. Provisionally. _

"Not exactly a fair trial," said Riker, miffed.

_Q: The Court will hear the provision. _

_PICARD: We question whether this court is abiding by its own trial instructions. Have I have permission to have Commander Data repeat the record? _

_Q: There will be no legal trickery _

_PICARD: These will be your own words, your Honor. What exactly what followed his Honor's statement that the prisoner will not be harmed? _

_DATA: Yes, sir. The Captain had asked the question. Can we assume you mean this will be a fair trial? And in reply the judge stated, yes, absolutely equitable. _

_Q: Irrelevant testimony, entirely irrelevant. _

_PICARD: Alright! We agree there is evidence to support the court's contention that humans have been savage. Therefore I say test us. Test whether this is presently true of humans. _

_Q: I see, I see. And so you petition the Court to accept you and your comrades as proof of what humanity has become. _

_PICARD: There must be many ways we can be tested. We have a long mission ahead of us. _

_Q: Another brilliant suggestion, Captain. But your test hardly requires a long mission. Your immediate destination offers far more challenge than you can possibly imagine. Yes, this Farpoint station will be an excellent test. _

_BAILIFF: All present, respectfully stand. _

_Q: This trial is adjourned, to allow the criminals to be tested. _

_BAILIFF: This honorable court is adjourned. Stand respectfully. _

_Q: Captain, you may find you are not nearly clever enough to deal with what lies ahead for you. It may have been better to accept sentence here. _

_[Battle Bridge] _

_(O'Brien is unaware the four were ever away) _

_DATA: What is present course, conn? _

_O'BRIEN: It's what it's been all along, sir. Direct heading to Farpoint Station. _

_DATA: Confirm. We are on that heading, sir. _

_O'BRIEN: Know anything about Farpoint Station, sir? Sounds like a fairly dull place. _

_PICARD: We've heard that we may find it rather interesting. _

_Personal log, Commander William Riker._

"Oh, this should be good," said Troi, smiling.

_Stardate: 41153.7. The USS Hood has dropped me off at Farpoint Station, where I await the arrival of the new USS Enterprise to which I have been assigned as First Officer. Meanwhile I have been asked to visit the Farpoint Administrator's Office, in the old city._

"You look good without a beard," said Troi.

"Almost as smooth as an Android's bottom," said Riker. Everyone looked at him oddly. "Tell you later," he responded.

_[Zorn's office] _

_(It is a standard wooden room, a desk with a bowl of fruit on it. Zorn is humanoid in loose clothing with long straight hair) _

_ZORN: Ah, Commander Riker, I thought you'd want to know we've still no word from your vessel. I trust we made your waiting comfortable? _

_RIKER: Luxurious is more like it. _

_ZORN: Good. (gets muddled over a handshake) Good. _

_RIKER: Would I seem ungrateful if I ask for some information? _

_ZORN: Anything. _

_RIKER: Fascinating, the advanced materials used in constructing this space station. Your energy supply must be as abundant as I've heard. _

_ZORN: Geothermal energy is the one great blessing of this planet. I'll have all the details of that sent to your quarters. _

_RIKER: Thank you. But it still seems incredible to me that you could have constructed this station so rapidly and so, so perfectly suited to our needs. _

_ZORN: Would your care for an Earth delicacy, Commander?_

"He changed the subject," said Troi firmly. "He's full of lies."

"It's not like you know what happens or anything," teased Riker.

"What? Isn't 8 years enough for you?" Troi protested. "Besides, just because they haven't changed anything until now, doesn't mean they won't."

_RIKER: (looking at the bowl of fruit) If there's an apple? _

_ZORN: I'm sorry, Commander. _

_RIKER: It doesn't matter. What I was saying was (suddenly there is a second bowl of apples) I'll be damned. _

_ZORN: Ah yes, there was another selection here _

_RIKER: Groppler, I could have sworn it wasn't here a minute ago. _

_ZORN: And did your failure to notice it make it unwelcome? _

_RIKER: Not at all, Groppler. _

_ZORN: I trust it will be the same with Farpoint Station, Commander. A few easily answered questions about it won't make Starfleet appreciate it less. _

_RIKER: And it's delicious. Thank you. Good morning, Groppler Zorn. _

_ZORN: Good morning. _

_(Riker leaves with his apple)_

"I was wondering what kind of idiot that guy had to be to get trapped into the situation he did inside what, at the time, we thought was a ship," said Worf. "Well, now I know."

_ZORN: (to the air) You have been told not to do that. Why can't you understand? It will arouse their suspicion. And if that happens, we will have to punish you. We will, I promise you._

Suddenly, the doors opened again, and in walked Beverly and Wesley Crusher.

"Mind if we join you?" asked Beverly.

"Not at all. And maybe now the Captain will behave himself," teased Riker. Picard blushed, but tried to hide it. He elbowed Riker in the ribs.

_[Market place] _

_RIKER: Doctor Crusher! _

_WESLEY: Mother, it's Commander Riker._

"Was I really THAT annoying as a kid?" asked Wesley.

"Yes," they all announced in unison. Wesley cowered.

_RIKER: Hello, Wes. Enjoying Farpoint Station? _

_WESLEY: Yes, sir. _

_RIKER: I saw you. I thought I might join you for a stroll. _

_CRUSHER: Actually, we were about to do some shopping. _

_RIKER: I've been meaning to visit the mall myself. _

_CRUSHER: Of course. _

_WESLEY: If you're wondering about Mom, Commander Riker, she's not unfriendly. She's just shy around men she doesn't know. _

_CRUSHER: Wesley! I believe that means he would like us to be friends._

"Did that really happen," asked Picard. Riker nodded with laughter.

"Sorry that didn't work out Wes," said Riker, jokingly. Wesley laughed.

_RIKER: I'm willing, Doctor. Although we're not officially part of the Enterprise, I thought there might be something useful we can do while we wait. _

_CRUSHER: Useful? How, Commander? _

_RIKER: Investigating some things that I've noticed since I've been here. The last was a piece of fruit._

"Fruit can be VERY suspicious," warned Wesley. They all laughed.

_CRUSHER: (examining a bolt of cloth) Gold would be lovely with this. I am sure, Commander, there are reasons for a first officer to want to demonstrate his energy and alertness to a new captain. But since my duty and interests are outside the command structure _

_(Suddenly the bolt of cloth has a gold pattern on it) _

_RIKER: Isn't it remarkable they happen to have exactly what you asked for? _

"Quite," said Worf, befuddled.

_CRUSHER: Thank you. I'll take the entire bolt. Send it to our starship when it arrives. Charge to Doctor Crusher. _

_(they walk away from the stall)_

_RIKER: Let's see, where were we? _

_CRUSHER: I was accusing you of inventing work in order to curry favor with our new captain. I apologize. _

_WESLEY: Mom, that gold pattern wasn't there. _

_CRUSHER: Maybe this is something Jean-Luc would like to look into._

"Oh, yes, don't you just love investigating weird fabrics John-Luc," teased Beverly.

_RIKER: Jean-Luc Picard? You know the Captain? _

_WESLEY: When I was little, he brought my father's body home to us. _

_CRUSHER: Yes, Wes, long, long ago. A pleasure to meet you, Commander. You will excuse us. _

_RIKER: My pleasure, Doctor. Wes. _

_WESLEY: Sir? _

_RIKER: See you on board. _

_WESLEY: Yes, sir._

"God, I was annoying," wondered Wesley. Beverly laughed.

_(Crusher and Wesley leave Riker, and another uniformed man arrives, wearing a device across his eyes) _

_LAFORGE: Sir, the Enterprise is arriving _

"Geordi," cried Troi.

_RIKER: Is this an official report, Lieutenant? _

_LAFORGE: Sorry, Commander. Sir, Lieutenant La Forge reporting. The Enterprise arriving, but without the saucer section, sir. _

_RIKER: Stardrive section only? What happened? _

"Oh, I remember that! Boy was I shocked," said Riker

_LAFORGE: I don't know, sir. Captain Picard has signalled for you to beam up immediately. _

_RIKER: Our new captain doesn't waste time. It's a good idea. Thank you, Lieutenant. _

_LAFORGE: Aye, sir. _

_RIKER: (moves into a clear space) Enterprise, this is Commander Riker at Farpoint Station. Standing by to beam up. _

_[Transporter room] _

_(Riker materialises) _

_TASHA: Lieutenant Yar of Security, sir. Captain Picard will see you on the Battle Bridge. _

_[Corridor] _

_RIKER: With the saucer gone, I assume something interesting happened on your way here? _

_[Turbolift] _

_TASHA: Battle bridge. That's for the Captain to explain, sir. _

_[Battle bridge] _

_PICARD: Do we have clearance? _

_DATA: Aye, sir, into the standard parking orbit. _

_PICARD: Make it so. _

_TASHA: Commander Riker, sir. _

_RIKER: Riker, William T, reporting as ordered, sir. _

_PICARD: Is the viewer ready? _

_TASHA: All set up, sir. _

_PICARD: We'll first bring you up to date on a little adventure we had on our way here, Commander. Then we'll talk. Welcome aboard. _

_TASHA: (to Riker) This way, sir. _

_(She sits him down in front of a screen and runs a tape of the Q encounter on the Bridge) _

_Q [on monitor]: Thou art directed to return to thine own solar system immediately. Go back or thou shalt most certainly die. You can't deny you're still a dangerous, savage, child race._

"At least I've FINALLY seen the whole story," said Riker.

_DATA: Message from the saucer module, sir. It will arrive here in fifty one minutes. _

_PICARD: Inform them we'll connect as soon as they arrive. And sent the Commander to me when he's finished. _

_TASHA: Yes, sir. _

_(Picard leaves) _

_Q [on monitor]: And four hundred years before that, you were murdering each other in quarrels over tribal god images. Since then there are no indications that humans will ever change. There are preparations to make, and when we next meet, Captain, we'll proceed exactly as you suggest. _

_RIKER: He calls that a little adventure? _

_[Battle ready room] _

_PICARD: Come. _

_RIKER: Not exactly a run of the mill happening, Captain. _

_PICARD: It seems we're alive only because we have been placed on probation. A very serious kind of probation. (answers comm.) Go._

"You can say that again!" said Wesley.

_DATA [OC]: The saucer module is now entering orbit with us, sir. _

_PICARD: Acknowledged. Commander Riker will conduct a manual docking. Picard out. _

_RIKER: Sir? _

_PICARD: You've reported in, haven't you? You are qualified? _

_RIKER: Yes, sir. _

_PICARD: Then I mean now, Commander. _

_[Battle bridge] _

_DATA: They say you will be doing this manually, sir. No automation. _

_RIKER: As ordered._

"Wow, I didn't know that that was ever attempted," said Wesley, jumping into child mode.

"Well, it defiantly wasn't easy, I'll tell you that," said Riker.

_(They approach the saucer from astern, of course) _

_RIKER: Velocity to one half meter per second. Adjust pitch angle, negative three degrees. Watch your roll angle, conn. All stations, prepare for reconnection. Thrusters to station keeping. All velocity zero. Her inertia should do the job now. Lock up now. _

_(The clamps rise and the two parts of the ship meet again) _

"Very impressive, Number 1. I hope it really went that well," asked Picard.

"Better," Riker responded, with confidence.

_[Ready room] _

_PICARD: A fairly routine manoeuvre but you handled it quite well. _

_RIKER: Thank you, sir. I hope I showed some promise. _

_PICARD: I do have some questions for you though. _

_RIKER: Yes, sir, I thought you might. _

_PICARD: I see in your file that Captain DeSoto thinks very highly of you. One curious thing, however, you refused to let him beam down to Altair Three. _

_RIKER: In my opinion, sir, Altair Three was too dangerous to risk exposing the Captain. _

_PICARD: I see. A Captain's rank means nothing to you. _

_RIKER: Rather the reverse, sir. But a Captain's life means a great deal to me. _

_PICARD: Isn't it just possible that you don't get to be a Starfleet Captain without knowing whether it's safe to beam down or not? Isn't it a little presumptuous of a first officer to second guess his captain's judgment? _

_RIKER: Permission to speak candidly, sir? _

_PICARD: Always. _

_RIKER: Having been a first officer yourself, you know that assuming that responsibility must by definition include the safety of the captain. I have no problem with following any rules you lay down, short of compromising your safety. _

_PICARD: And you don't intend to back off that position? _

_RIKER: No, sir,_

"Ironically, You did let me beam down, on occasion," said Picard.

"Yes, but ONLY on occasion," said Riker.

_PICARD: One further thing. A special favor. _

_RIKER: Anything, sir. _

_PICARD: Using the same kind of strength you showed with Captain DeSoto, I would appreciate it if you can keep me from making an ass of myself with children. _

"How did I do with that Wesley?" asked Picard.

"Um, fine sir!" Wesley responded. Picard wasn't convinced.

_RIKER: Sir? _

_PICARD: I'm not a family man, Riker, and yet, Starfleet has given me a ship with children aboard. _

_RIKER: Yes, sir. _

_PICARD: And I don't feel comfortable with children. But, since a captain needs an image of geniality, you're to see that's what I project. _

_RIKER: Aye, sir. _

_PICARD: Welcome to the Enterprise, Commander Riker._

_[Sickbay] _

_CRUSHER: Naturally I've heard of your case. The visor implants you wear _

_LAFORGE: Is a remarkable piece of bio-electronic engineering by which I quote see much of the EM spectrum ranging from simple heat and infrared through radio waves et cetera, et cetera, and forgive me if I've said and listened to this a thousand times before. _

_(Without the Visor, Geordi La Forge's eyes are white sightless orbs, and he has flashing red lights at his temples) _

_CRUSHER: You've been blind all your life? _

_LAFORGE: I was born this way. _

_CRUSHER: And you've felt pain all the years that you've used this? _

_LAFORGE: They say it's because I use my natural sensors in different ways. _

_CRUSHER: Well, I see two choices. The first is painkillers. _

_LAFORGE: Which would affect how this works. _

"How cheerful," said Wesley

_LAFORGE: No. Choice number two? _

_CRUSHER: Exploratory surgery. _

"Even more cheerful," said Wesley. Beverly laughed.

"I remember that conversation."

"And now he doesn't even need that visor," said Riker with astonishment.

_LAFORGE: Desensitize the brain areas troubling you. _

_LAFORGE: Same difference. No, thank you, Doctor. _

_CRUSHER: I understand. _

_LAFORGE: See you._

_[Bridge] _

_(Riker enters) _

_WORF: Yes sir? _

_RIKER: Where will I find Commander Data? _

_WORF: Commander Data is on special assignment, sir. He's using our shuttlecraft to transfer an admiral over to the Hood. _

_RIKER: An admiral? _

_WORF: He's been aboard all day, sir, checking over medical layout. _

_RIKER: Why a shuttlecraft? Why wouldn't he just beam over? _

_WORF: I suppose he could, sir, but the Admiral's a rather remarkable man. _

_[Corridor] _

_(A very old man in a cardigan is shuffling along. He is played by DeForrest Kelley, so of course we name this character -) _

_MCCOY: Have you got some reason you want my atoms scattered all over space, boy?_

"Bones!" shouted Picard. "He worked with Jim Kirk!"

"Dr. McCoy!" Shouted Beverly. They both laughed. 

_DATA: No sir. But at your age, sir, I thought_ _you shouldn't have to put up with the time and trouble of a shuttlecraft. _

_MCCOY: Hold it right there, boy. _

_DATA: Sir? _

_MCCOY: What about my age? _

_DATA: Sorry, sir. If that subject troubles you _

_MCCOY: Troubles me? What's so damned troubling about not having died? How old do you think I am? _

_DATA: One hundred thirty seven years, Admiral, according to Starfleet records. _

_MCCOY: Explain how you remember that so exactly. _

_DATA: I remember every fact I am exposed to, sir. _

_MCCOY: I don't see any points on your ears, boy, but you sound like a Vulcan. _

_DATA: No, sir. I'm an android. _

_MCCOY: Almost as bad. _

_DATA: I thought it was generally accepted, sir, that Vulcans are an advanced and most honourable race. _

_MCCOY: They are, they are. And damned annoying at times. _

_DATA: Yes, sir. _

_MCCOY: Well, this is a new ship, but she's got the right name. Now you remember that, you hear. _

_DATA: I will, sir. _

_MCCOY: You treat her like a lady, and she'll always bring you home._

"Montgomery Scott must have taught him that," said Riker.

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: Did you signal the Hood, Commander Riker? _

_RIKER: Your exact message. Bon voyage mon ami. _

_PICARD: What was my answer, computer? _

_Q [OC]: You're wasting time, Captain. (appears on viewscreen) Or did you think I was gone? _

_PICARD: Lieutenant! Do you intend to blast a hole through the viewer? If the purpose of this is to test humans, your honor, we must proceed in our own way. _

_Q [on viewscreen]: You are dilatory. You have twenty four hours. Any further delay and you risk summary judgment against you, Captain. _

_WORF: Sorry, sir _

_RIKER: You reacted fast, Mister Worf. _

_PICARD: But futilely. _

_WORF: I will learn to do better, sir. _

_PICARD: Of course you will. We've a long voyage ahead of us. _

"You can say that again," said Picard. Riker laughed.

_RIKER: What do we do now, Captain? With them monitoring our every move and every word. _

_PICARD: We do exactly what we would do if this Q never existed. If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are._

**A/N: Phew! What a chapter! If you've made it this far, I sincerely thank you! Chapter 2 up soon with: Encounter at Farpoint Part II. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**Script source: . **


	2. Encounter at Farpoint Part II

TNG Watches TNG

**A/N: Hi guys! Thanks for coming to read Chapter 2! Especially after how **_**long**_** Chapter 1 was. Well, here was go!**

Chapter 2: Encounter at Farpoint Part II

"Well, that's a bit of a cliff hanger," said Picard.

"Well, let's watch part two!" said Troi. There was a brief flash, and then the episode started.

_Personal log, Stardate: 41153.8. Of the twenty-four hours Q allotted us to prove ourselves, eleven have now passed without incident. And yet I cannot forget Q's prediction that we will face some critical test. _

_[Ready room] _

_RIKER: This planet's interior heat provides an abundance of geothermal energy, sir. But it's about all this world does offer._

"And that Zorn guy was wondering why the Federation had overlooked it before," asked Worf, slightly annoyed.

_PICARD: And it's your belief that this is what made it possible for them to construct this base to Starfleet standards? _

_RIKER: Yes sir. We have to assume that they've been trading their surplus energy for the construction materials used here. According to our ship's scans, many of the materials used are not found on this world. _

"It's because..."

"Deanna!" protested Picard.

_PICARD: Perhaps it's like those incidents you describe in your report as almost magical attempts to please us. _

"You think?" asked Wesley.

_RIKER: Those events did happen, sir. _

_PICARD: None of it suggests anything threatening. If only every life form had as much desire to please. Ready to beam down? I'm looking forward to meeting this Groppler Zorn. _

_RIKER: I have a feeling there's more to it than just pleasing us, sir._

"Really?" asked Troi, a little pissed off.

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: As if it's something Q is doing to trick us? Over here. I've asked the Counselor to join us in this meeting. May I introduce our new First Officer, Commander William Riker. Commander Riker, this is our ship's Counselor, Deanna Troi. _

_TROI [Thinking]: Do you remember what I taught you, Imzadi? Can you still sense my thoughts? _

_TROI: A pleasure, Commander. _

_RIKER: Likewise, Counselor. _

"I remember that!" said Riker. "It was so awkward!"

"Will," Troi protested.

_PICARD: Have the two of you met before? _

"What was the giveaway?" asked Wesley. "The fact that a non-empath can sense her thoughts or the longing stares?" Riker and Troi laughed.

"Wesley!" Beverly protested, embarrassed.

_RIKER: We have, sir. _

_PICARD: Excellent. I consider it important for my key officers know each other's abilities. _

_(They step into the Turbo Lift) _

_TROI: We do, sir. We do. _

_TROI [Thinking]: I, too, would never say goodbye, Imzadi._

"You are quite the romantic, Deanna. I never knew that about you," said Picard.

_[Zorn's office] _

_PICARD: My crew and I need a bit more information before we make our recommendations to Starfleet. _

_ZORN: No objections to that, but, but, I'm puzzled over you bringing a Betazoid to this. If her purpose, sir, is to probe my thoughts _

_TROI: I can sense only strong emotions, Groppler. I am only half Betazoid. My father was a Starfleet officer. _

_ZORN: Well, I have nothing to hide, of course. _

"Yeah right!" said Troi. "I knew he was full of crap, even then!"

"Of course you did Counselor," said Picard.

_PICARD: Good, since we admire what we've seen of your construction techniques. Starfleet may be interested in your constructing Starbases elsewhere also. _

_ZORN: We are not interested in building other facilities. _

_RIKER: If I may, Captain. Then a trade, Groppler? Some things you need in return for lending us architects and engineers who can demonstrate your techniques. _

_ZORN: Bandi do not enjoy leaving their home world. If Starfleet cannot accept that small weakness, then we will be forced, unhappily, to seek an alliance with someone like the Ferengi, or _

"If they truly wanted money, they would have STARTED with the Ferengi!" said Wesley.

_(Troi gasps) _

_PICARD: Counselor? What is it? _

_TROI: Do you want it described here, sir? _

_PICARD: Yes. No secrets here if we're to be all to be friends. Agreed, Groppler?_

_ZORN: We ourselves have nothing to hide, of course._

"Redundant much?" said Troi. "I told you he was full of…"

"Shh!" said Beverly, locked in to the show. Troi sighed, and leaned back in her seat.

_TROI: Pain. Pain. Loneliness. Terrible loneliness. Despair. I'm not sensing the Groppler, sir, or any of his people, but it's something very close to us here. _

"Based on how I know the creature was feeling, I can only imagine what it was REALLY feeling," said Troi sympathetically.

_PICARD: The source of this, Groppler. Do you have any idea? _

"Of course he does, the slimly…"

"Shh!" said Beverly, slightly irritated.

_ZORN: No. No, absolutely not. And I find nothing helpful or productive in any of this! _

"Oh shit! Now he's pissed!" said Wesley.

_PICARD: And that's it? No other comment? _

_ZORN: Well what do you expect of us? We offer you a base designed to your needs, luxurious even by human standards _

_PICARD: While evading even our simplest questions about it. We'll adjourn for now while we all reconsider our positions. _

_ZORN: Captain, the Ferengi would be very interested in a base like this. _

_PICARD: Fine. I hope they find you as tasty as they did their past associates_

"Ooh. Good one Captain," said Riker, impressed.

"Thank you Number 1. I thought that one out long and hard," replied Picard.

_[Corridor] _

_RIKER: Ensign, can you help me find Commander Data? I understand he's somewhere on this deck. _

_ENSIGN: This way, sir. You must be new to these Galaxy class starships, sir. (to wall) Tell me the location of Commander Data. _

"Such a convenient technology," reminisced Riker.

_COMPUTER: Lieutenant Commander Data now located in Hollow _Deck_ area 4J. _

_ENSIGN: And as you see, sir, it's pointing you that way. _

_RIKER: Thank you _

_ENSIGN: You're welcome, sir. _

_(She appreciates the sight as he walks away) _

_COMPUTER: The next hatchway on your right. _

_RIKER: Thank you. _

_COMPUTER: You're welcome, Commander Riker. And if you care to enter, Commander? _

_RIKER: I do. _

_(The Hollow Deck doors open to show trees and vegetation. There is birdsong) _

"Ooh, this should be interesting," said Picard. 'I haven't heard how you two met."

_[Forest] _

_RIKER: Hello? _

_(He crosses a stream by stepping stones. One wobbles. Someone is trying to whistle 'Pop goes the Weasel'. Riker finishes the tune) _

"I remember this. I miss Data," said Riker

"We all do," replied Troi. There was a sudden tension in the air as Data's character was introduced.

_DATA: Marvelous. How easily humans do that. I still need much practice. _

"Data worked on that tune forever," said Riker.

_RIKER: There are some puzzles down on the planet that the Captain wants answered. He suggests that I take you with me on the away team that I'll be leading. _

_DATA: I shall endeavor to function adequately, sir. _

_RIKER: Yes. When the captain suggested you, I looked up your record. _

_DATA: Yes, sir. A wise procedure, sir, always. _

_RIKER: Then your rank of Lieutenant Commander is honorary? _

_DATA: No, sir. Starfleet class of '78; honors in probability mechanics and exobiology. _

_RIKER: Your file says that you're an _

_DATA: Machine, Correct, sir. Does that trouble you? _

_RIKER: To be honest, yes, a little. _

_DATA: Understood, sir. Prejudice is very human. _

_RIKER: Now that does trouble me. Do you consider yourself superior to us? _

_DATA: I am superior, sir, in many ways, but I would gladly give it up to be human. _

"Yet you would have never know it," said Troi. "He practically was human."

_RIKER: Nice to meet you, Pinocchio. A joke. _

_DATA: Ah. Intriguing. _

_RIKER: You're going to be an interesting companion, Mister Data. _

_DATA: This woodland pattern is quite popular, sir. Perhaps because it duplicates Earth so well. Coming here almost makes me feel human myself. _

_RIKER: I didn't believe these simulations could be this real. _

_DATA: Much of it is real, sir. If the transporters can convert our bodies to an energy beam, then back to the original pattern again _

_RIKER: Yes, of course. And these rocks and vegetation have much simpler patterns. _

_DATA: Correct, sir. The rear wall. _

_RIKER: I can't see it. _

_DATA: We're right next to it. _

_(He throws a rock at it, and the image pixilates on impact) _

_RIKER: Incredible! _

_WESLEY [OC]: Commander Riker!_

"Here comes trouble," said Picard. Everyone laughed except Wesley.

_WESLEY: (at the stream) Commander Riker, isn't this great? This is one of the simpler patterns. They've got thousands more. Some you just can't believe. _

_RIKER: Careful, the next rock is loose! _

_(Wesley falls in the water) _

"Oh, jeez," said Wesley, embarrassed. Everyone laughed.

_RIKER: Wesley! _

_(Data rushes down and hauls the boy out with one hand) _

_WESLEY: Wow! _

"He was-and is-truly remarkable," said Wesley.

_[Corridor] _

_RIKER: Mister Data has agreed to join me on the away team, Captain. _

_PICARD: Very good, Commander. _

_WESLEY: Sir, maybe I should get something to wipe this water up. _

"You think?" asked Picard, sarcastically.

_PICARD: Good idea. _

_[Sickbay] _

_WESLEY: There's a low gravity gymnasium, too. It'd be hard to get bored on this ship. _

_CRUSHER: Good. _

_WESLEY: Mom, could you get me a look at the Bridge? _

_CRUSHER: That's against the Captain's standing orders. _

"It should have stayed that way," joked Picard, nudging Wesley playfully.

_WESLEY: Are you afraid of the Captain too? _

"You're afraid of me, Beverly. Oh, this explains a lot," said Picard, playfully.

_CRUSHER: I certainly am not. _

"You always were a terrible liar," joked Picard.

_WESLEY: But Captain Picard is a pain, isn't he? _

"Wesley!" shouted Picard. "And while we're on the subject of 'a pain…'"

_CRUSHER: Your father liked him very much. Great explorers are often lonely. No chance to have a family. _

"I am not lonely!" protested Picard.

_WESLEY: Just a look, at the Bridge. I'll stay in the Turbo Lift when the doors open. I won't get off. _

"Bullshit," said RIker

_CRUSHER: You are asking for trouble, Wes. We'll see what we can do. _

_[Market place] _

_TASHA: Recommend that someone could begin by examining the underside of the station, sir. _

_TROI: Our sensors do show some passages, sir. Perhaps you and I? _

_RIKER: Tasha, you and the Counselor. And, Geordi, I want your eyes down there. (to Data) You and I will start with topside. _

_(As the three explore underground) _

_RIKER: Have you noticed anything unusual? _

_DATA: I can't see as well as Geordi, sir, but so far the material seems rather very ordinary. _

"For an Android, that was not very articulate," joked Worf.

_RIKER: Construction records? _

_DATA: Construction records show this to be almost identical to that which Starfleet uses. _

_TASHA [OC]: Team Leader. _

_[Passageway] _

_TASHA: We've found something interesting. We're in a passageway directly under the station, sir. _

_LAFORGE: But these tunnel walls are something I've never seen before, sir. _

_[Marketplace] _

_RIKER: How are you examining them? _

_LAFORGE [OC]: In every way. _

"That's what she said," joked Wesley, who was elbowed by his mother.

"Shut up, Wesley!" she said.

_[Passageway] _

_LAFORGE: Microscopically, thermally, electromagnetically. None of it is familiar. _

_RIKER [OC]: What about you, Troi? _

_TROI: Sir, I've avoided opening my mind. Whatever I felt in the Groppler's office became very uncomfortable. _

_[Marketplace] _

_RIKER: I'm sorry, Counsellor, but you must. We need more information. _

_[Passageway] _

_TROI: Pain. Such pain! Pain! _

_[Marketplace] _

_RIKER: Hang on, I'm coming. Enterprise, lock us onto her signal. _

_[Passageway] _

_(Data and Riker beam into the passageway) _

_RIKER: I'm sorry. Close your mind to the pain. _

_TROI: Unhappiness. Terrible despair. _

_RIKER: Who? _

_TROI: I don't know. No life form anything like us. _

"Well, I can't say that that wasn't an accurate observation," said Troi.

_RIKER: What in the hell kind of place is this? Geordi, what do you see? _

_LAFORGE: Well, it's of no material I recognize, sir, or have even heard of. _

_(They carry on exploring) _

_[Bridge] _

_(The Turbo Lift doors open, and Wesley is standing there) _

_PICARD: Children are not allowed on the Bridge. _

"Yeah, Wesley!" joked Picard.

"Why am I the one whose always getting picked on?" complained Wesley.

_(Crusher appears from where she was hiding) _

_CRUSHER: Permission to report to the captain _

_PICARD: Doctor Crusher. _

_CRUSHER: Captain. Sir, my son is not on the Bridge. He merely accompanied me on the Turbo Lift. _

_PICARD: Your son? _

_CRUSHER: His name's Wesley. You last saw him years ago when _

_PICARD: Well, as long as he's here. I knew your father, Wesley. Want a look around? _

_(Wesley steps onto the Bridge) _

"Oh boy!" said Riker, in a high-pitched voice, mimicking Wesley. Everyone except Wesley laughed.

_PICARD: But don't touch anything! Try it out. (the captain's chair) The panel on your right is for log entries, library computer access and retrieval, viewscreen control, intercoms, and so on. Here we have _

_WESLEY: And here, the backup conn and ops panels, plus shield and armory controls. _

"Oh yeah!" said Wesley, excitedly. "It's too bad she was destroyed."

_PICARD: The forward viewscreen is controlled from the ops position there _

_WESLEY: Which uses high resolution, multi-spectral imaging sensor systems_

Picard snarled at the Wesley on the screen. 

_PICARD: How the hell do you know that, boy? _

_WESLEY: Perimeter alert, Captain! _

_CRUSHER: Wesley! _

_WESLEY: I'm sorry. _

_CRUSHER: You shouldn't have touched anything _

_PICARD: Off the bridge! Both of you. _

"Damn! You didn't have to be so pushy!" said Wesley, looking for a little revenge.

_WORF: You have a perimeter alert, sir. _

_CRUSHER: As my son tried to tell you! _

_(Crusher and Wesley step back into the Turbo Lift) _

_PICARD: Picard. Go ahead. _

_SECURITY [OC]: Ship's sensors have detected the presence of a vessel approaching this planet. No ship is scheduled to arrive at this time, sir. _

_PICARD: Have Commander Riker and his team beam back up. Security, could that be the Hood returning here? _

_SECURITY [OC]: The vessel does not match the Hood's configuration or ID signal. _

_PICARD: Put it on main viewer. Identification? _

_WORF: Vessel unknown, configuration unknown, sir. _

_(It looks like a classic flying saucer) _

_PICARD: Hail it. _

_WORF: We've been trying, sir. No response. _

_PICARD: Raise all shields, phasers at ready. _

_WORF: Shields up, sir. Phasers ready. _

"What? No Red Alert?" joked Riker.

_PICARD: Get me Groppler Zorn. And continue universal greetings on all frequencies. _

_ZORN [OC]: This is Zorn, Captain. _

_PICARD: Zorn, an unidentified vessel has entered into orbit with us. _

_[Zorn's office] _

_PICARD [OC]: Do you know who it is? _

_ZORN: There are no ships scheduled to arrive until _

"Oh you know exactly what it is!" said Troi.

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: I asked if you knew who it is. You mentioned the Ferengi Alliance to me. _

_[Zorn's office] _

_ZORN: But we have had no dealings with them. It was only a, a thought. _

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: Are you certain? _

_ZORN [OC]: I promise you, Captain. _

_[Zorn's office] _

_ZORN: We were making an empty threat. I wanted your cooperation. Forgive me. _

_[Bridge] _

_WORF: Definitely entering orbital trajectory, sir. _

_SECURITY: (at Tasha's station) It measures twelve times our volume, Captain. _

_(A purple light envelopes the Enterprise) _

_WORF: Sensors say we were just scanned, sir. _

_[Passageway] _

_TASHA: Pain again? _

_RIKER: Troi, you've been at it enough. _

_TROI: No, I feel close to an answer of some kind. _

_DATA: Commander, something down here is shielding our communicators. _

_TROI: Yes, that's exactly the feeling I've been reading. As if someone doesn't want us to be in touch with our ship. _

_RIKER: Come on, let's get to the surface. _

_[Bridge] _

_WORF: There is no computer record of any such vessel, sir. Nothing even close. _

_SECURITY: Still no response, sir. We've done everything but threaten them. _

_PICARD: Sensor scans, Mister Worf. _

_WORF: Our sensor signals seem to just bounce off. Something's happening, sir. They're firing on Farpoint, sir! _

"Oh, shits going down!" said Wesley.

_PICARD: Bring photon torpedoes to ready! _

_WORF: Wait, sir. They're hitting the old Bandi city, not Farpoint Station. _

_(The ruined and empty city is being smashed by purple blasts) _

_[Passageway] _

_(The away team can hear the blasts) _

_TROI: Those stairs are where we entered down here, sir. _

_LAFORGE: At this point, it becomes ordinary stone, sir. Matching what's above. _

_TASHA: My God! Was that a phaser blast? _

_DATA: Negative. But something similar. _

"What was the giveaway?" asked Riker.

_RIKER: You, Tasha, and Geordi will beam up to the ship. Now, come on, I want to see exactly what's happening. _

_TROI: Don't. If you should be hurt _

_RIKER: You have your orders, Lieutenant. Carry them out. _

_TROI: Yes sir, I'm sorry, sir. Enterprise, three to beam up. _

_[Zorn's office] _

_ZORN: Enterprise, Enterprise, come in! Help us, please! What shall we do? _

_[Bridge] _

_ZORN [OC]: Enterprise, help us, please! _

_PICARD: Tune that down! Commander Riker, come in. Can you hear me? _

_[Bandi city] _

_(Data and Riker phaser open a door and rush through) _

_RIKER: Riker to Enterprise, come in. _

_PICARD [OC]: Commander Riker, come in. Where are you? _

_RIKER: With Data, on the edge of the old city, sir. It's being hit hard, sir. _

"Really, we didn't notice," joked Wesley.

"Wesley, if you knew…" warned Picard

Sorry Sir!"

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: And Farpoint Station? Any damage there? _

_RIKER [OC]: Negative on damage to Farpoint, sir. Whoever they are, it seems they're carefully avoiding hitting the station. _

_PICARD: It's from an unidentified vessel that's entered into orbit with us here. _

_[Bandi city] _

_PICARD [OC]: No ID, no answer to our signals. _

"Well guess what? It's not a ship!" shouted Troi.

_RIKER: The old Bandi city's being hit hard, sir. Many casualties very probable. _

_PICARD [OC]: Understand, Commander. _

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: Would you object to your Captain ordering a clearly illegal kidnapping? _

_[Bandi city] _

_RIKER: No objection, sir. _

They all laughed.

"That would sound bad out of context," joked Picard.

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: Groppler Zorn may have the answers we need. Get him. Bring him here. _

_[Bandi city] _

_RIKER: Aye, sir. _

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: They're forcing a difficult decision on me, Counselor. _

_TROI: But I doubt protecting the Bandi would violate the Prime Directive. True, they are not actual allies, but _

"Who cares about violating the Prime Directive? It's not like it's never happened before," joked Riker.

_PICARD: We are in the midst of diplomatic discussions with them. Lieutenant, lock phasers on that vessel. _

_TASHA: Phasers locked on, Captain. _

_(There's a flash, and the Judge Q stands there) _

_Q: Typical. So typical. Savage lifeforms never follow even their own rules. _

_PICARD: Get off my bridge! _

"You tell 'em Johnny!" joked Riker.

_Q: Interesting, that order about phasers. _

_TASHA: Standing by on phasers, Captain. _

_Q: Please, don't let me interfere. Use your weapons. _

_PICARD: We've no idea who is on that vessel. My order was a routine safety precaution. _

_Q: Really? No idea of what it represents? The meaning of that vessel is as plain, as plain as the noses on your ugly little primate faces. And if you were truly civilized, Captain, wouldn't you be doing something about the casualties happening down there? _

"Q is such an ass," said Wesley. No one disagreed.

_PICARD: Captain to Chief Medical Officer._

"Go CMO!" said Beverly.

_[Sickbay] _

_PICARD [OC]: Are you reading any of this? _

_CRUSHER: Medical teams already preparing to beam down, Captain. _

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: Compliments on that, Doctor. Any questions? Starfleet people are trained to render aid and assistance whenever _

_Q: But not trained in clear thinking. _

_PICARD: Let's consider your thoughts. You call us savages and yet you knew those people down there would be killed. It is your conduct that is uncivilized. _

"What now, Q?" said Riker

_WORF: Sir, they're firing on the planet again. _

_PICARD: Go to maneuvering jets. Position us between that vessel and the planet. Force fields full on. _

_WORF: Aye, sir. Impulse power to (beep) We have no ship control, sir. It's gone! _

_[Bandi city] _

_(Riker painfully hauls himself up from the ground. He is covered in dust) _

_DATA: Are you undamaged? _

_RIKER: Yes. You? _

_DATA: All systems operating. _

Everyone laughed.

_(They hear sobbing, and enter - ) _

_[Zorn's office] _

_(Zorn is hiding underneath his desk) _

_ZORN: Please! Make it stop! You can drive it away! _

_RIKER: Drive who away, Groppler? _

_ZORN: I don't know. _

_DATA: Unlikely, sir. Our records show that you supervised all Bandi contact with other worlds. _

_ZORN: We done nothing anything wrong! _

"There's absolutely no grammatical errors in that sentence," joked Worf.

_RIKER: Then if we can learn nothing from you, we'll leave. _

_ZORN: No! Oh no, please, don't leave. I'll try to explain. _

"Bullshit," said Troi.

"My gosh Deanna. It's a good thing you weren't like this when it was really happening," said Picard.

_(Then he gets beamed away, screaming) RIKER: First officer to Enterprise. We've lost Zorn. Something like a transporter beam seems to have snatched him away. _

_[Bridge] _

_RIKER [OC]: Question, sir, could it be this Q? _

_Q: None of you knows who transported him. You're running out of time, Captain. _

"Oh F off Q!" said Wesley.

_TROI: Captain, suddenly I'm sensing something else. Satisfaction. Enormous satisfaction. _

"Wonder why?" said Troi sarcastically.

_PICARD: From the same source as before? _

_TROI: No, that was on the planet. This is much closer. _

_Q: Excellent, Counselor. He's such a dullard, isn't he? _

_CREW [OC]: Captain from Transporter Room. First Officer and Mister Data have beamed aboard. _

_Q: Excellent also. Perhaps with more of these little minds helping _

_PICARD: That is enough, damn it! _

"Oh now he's pissed," said Wesley.

_Q: Have you forgotten that we have an agreement, _

_PICARD: An agreement which you are at this moment breaking by taking over our vessel, interfering with my decisions. Either leave or finish us. _

_Q: Temper, temper, mon Capitaine. I'm merely trying to assist a pitiful species. But perhaps I will leave if Commander Riker provides me with some amusement. _

_PICARD: Do nothing that he asks. _

_Q (JUDGE): But I ask so little, and it's so necessary if you're to solve all this. Beam over there with your what do you call it? Your away team. _

_PICARD: I'll risk none of my crew on that unknown. _

"That belief was never used on any mission every again. Defiantly not on an encounter with the Borg or Ferengi or…"

"Thank you Number 1. We got the point," said Picard.

_Q: You should already know what you'll find there. Or perhaps it's too adult a puzzle for you. _

_RIKER: With all respect, Captain, I want to beam over there. _

_Q: You show promise, my good fellow. _

_RIKER: Have you understood any part of what he's tried to tell you? Humanity is no longer a savage race. _

_Q: But you must still prove that. _

"He REALLY liked messing with you," said Wesley.

"Likes. Didn't you see what he did just a minute ago, when he was here. He defiantly likes messing with us," said Picard.

_(And he vanishes) _

_PICARD: At least you impressed him, Number One. That's hopeful. _

_RIKER: Thank you, Captain. Captain, if he's not open to evidence in our favor, where will you go from there? _

_PICARD: I'll attend to my duty. _

_RIKER: To the bitter end? _

_PICARD: I see nothing so bitter about that. _

_[Crusher's office] _

_CRUSHER: Can I help you, Captain? _

_PICARD: I didn't want you thinking me harsh. Cold blooded. _

_CRUSHER: Why oh why would I ever think that. _

_PICARD: I didn't welcome you aboard personally, professionally. I made you come to me on the Bridge. I yelled at your son. Who, as you pointed out, was quite correct. He does seem to have a very good grasp of starship operations. _

"What now! Yeah!" cheered Wesley.

_CRUSHER: You've just won this mother's heart, Captain. _

Wesley fake-gagged at this.

_PICARD: Ah, but, now, your assignment here. I would consider and approve you a transfer for you. _

_CRUSHER: Oh. You consider me unqualified? _

"What are you trying to say? Huh John-Luc?" asked Beverly half-jokingly.

_PICARD: Hardly. Your service record shows you're just the Chief Medical Officer I want. _

"In more than one way," said Riker, wagging his eyebrows.

"Oh damn you!" shouted Picard at Riker.

"You know you can't hide your feelings," half-joked Beverly.

"GUYS! NOT IN FRONT OF ME!" complained Wesley.

"Do you know how many girls you have hit on in the last 8 years?" asked Riker. "Do you remember that one girl- she was going to create peace among her people, and she and her protector were shape shifters. I has to listen to you DROOL over her!" said Riker

_CRUSHER: Then you must object to me personally. _

_PICARD: I'm trying to be considerate of your feelings, Doctor. For you to work with a commanding officer who would continually remind you of a terrible personal tragedy. _

_CRUSHER: If I had had any objections to serving with you, I wouldn't have requested this assignment, Captain. _

_PICARD: You requested this posting? _

"Now who's hiding feelings," joked Riker.

"GUYS!" whined Wesley.

_CRUSHER: My feelings about my husband's death will have no effect on the way I serve you, this vessel, or this mission. _

_PICARD: Ah. Then, welcome aboard, Doctor. _

_(They shake hands) _

_RIKER [OC]: Riker to Picard. We're ready to beam over, sir. _

_PICARD: I, er, I hope we can be friends? _

"Or more," said Riker suggestively.

"Will you get out of here!" yelled Wesley.

"Well I notice you haven't said anything," said Beverly to Picard.

"Oh Hell no! I'm leaving! I'll finish this episode later!" shouted Wesley as he stormed off.

"Maybe because I don't need to," said Picard, as he grabbed Beverly, and kissed her. Riker wolf whistled.

"Get a room you two," he said playfully.

"With pleasure," Picard said, laughing.

"Can we get on with this episode?" asked Worf.

"Of course, Lieutenant. Computer, continue program," said Picard, leaning back in his chair.

_CRUSHER: Thank you. _

_[Transporter room] _

_(The away team is Data, Tasha, Troi and Riker) _

_RIKER: Phasers on stun. Energise. _

_[Alien vessel] _

_(It looks like the passages under the Bandi city) _

_DATA: Most interesting, sir. _

"Gee, wonder why," said Troi.

"Oh why don't you just give the whole story away?" said Worf impatiently.

"Worf, you LIVED through this!" protested Troi.

"Well yes but…"

_TASHA: It's much the same construction we saw in the underground tunnel. _

_DATA: But no sound of power. No equipment. _

_TASHA: How does this ship run? _

_RIKER: What is it, Troi? Is it the same as you felt down there? _

_TROI: No. This is much more powerful. Full of anger! Hate! _

"Like I feel for Zorn!" shouted Troi.

_TASHA: Toward us? _

_TROI: No. It's directed down toward the old Bandi city. _

_DATA: Most intriguing again, sir. The place that this vessel was firing upon was not the Farpoint starbase, but the home of those who constructed. Sorry, sir. I seem to be commenting on everything. _

_RIKER: Good. Don't stop, my friend. _

_[Bridge] _

_RIKER [OC]: Enterprise, Riker. This is turning out to be a very long tunnel or corridor, sir. _

_[Alien vessel] _

_RIKER: No ship's crew in sight. No sign of mechanism or circuitry. No controls or read-outs. This is nothing like any vessel I've seen before. _

_TROI: Groppler Zorn, sir. A great fear just ahead. _

_[Bridge] _

_TROI [OC}: There's a different feeling here than in the tunnel. Very different. _

_[Alien vessel] _

_ZORN [OC]: No! Please! No more! Please, no more! Please, please, make it stop! Please! Please! Please! Make it stop! Please! _

_(They find Zorn suspended in a force field, in pain) _

"We should have left him there," half-joked Troi.

"Deanna!" shouted Riker.

_ZORN: No! Please! No more, please! No more! Please! _

_RIKER: Zorn. Can you hear me? _

_ZORN: The pain! No! _

_TROI: Has the alien communicated? _

_ZORN: Please! Please! Please, no more! _

_TROI: That's it, sir. It's just one alien that I'm sensing here. _

"Duh," said Troi.

_ZORN: Please! I don't understand what you want! _

_TROI: Not true. He does know. _

_ZORN: No, please, no more. No more! No, no, no, don't! _

_(Riker and Data modulate their phasers to disrupt the force field, and Zorn drops onto a big soft mattress. The alien ship is not pleased about this) _

_[Bridge] _

_WORF: Captain! _

_PICARD: Transporter chief, yank them back now! Riker, acknowledge! _

_(Flash! Q is in a Starfleet uniform) _

_Q: Your time is up, Captain._

"Oh, get the Hell out of there Q!" Picard shouted at the Q on screen. 

_PICARD: Transporter Chief, do you have their coordinates? Transporter Chief! _

_Q: He can't hear you, Captain. _

_PICARD: Transporter Chief, come in! I've people in trouble over there, Q. _

_(Q sits himself in the Captain's chair) _

_PICARD: Everyone at ease. That's an order. Q, my people are in trouble. Let me help them, please. I'll do whatever you say. _

_(The away team and Zorn materialise on the Bridge) _

_Q: You'll do whatever I say? _

Oh, now you've done it," warned Worf.

_PICARD: It seems I did make that bargain. _

_TROI: The agreement isn't valid, sir. It wasn't Q that saved us. _

_Q: Save yourself. It may attack you now. _

_RIKER: It was that which sent us back, Captain. _

_TROI: Yes sir. It is not merely a vessel, sir. Somehow it is alive. _

"Because it IS alive," said Troi, shouting at herself on the screen.

_Q: She lies. Destroy it while you have a chance. Make phasers and photon torpedoes ready. _

_PICARD: No! Do nothing he demands. _

"Well, it's not like we haven't obeyed orders from a crazy Captain before,' joked Riker.

"Will!" protested Picard.

"Only kidding," he responded, in a non-convincing tone. Picard elbowed him.

_ZORN: Captain, that thing was killing my people! _

_PICARD: Was there a reason? _

_Q: It is an unknown, Captain. Isn't that enough? _

_PICARD: If you'd earned that uniform you're wearing, you'd know that the unknown is what brings us out here. _

"You tell 'em Johnny!" cheered Riker.

_Q: Wasted effort, considering the human intelligence. _

_PICARD: Let's test that. Beginning with the tunnels you have under Farpoint, Groppler. _

_RIKER: Identical to the ones on the space vessel lifeform over there. Why was it punishing you, Groppler? _

_PICARD: In return for some pain you'd given other creature? _

_ZORN: We've done nothing wrong. It was injured. We helped it. _

"Bullshit," potested Troi.

_PICARD: Thank you. That was the missing part. Lieutenant Yar, rig main phaser banks to deliver an energy beam. _

_TASHA: Aye, sir. _

_RIKER: You're right, Captain. It has to be conceivable that somewhere in this galaxy there could exist creatures able to convert energy into matter. _

_PICARD: And into specific patterns of matter, just as our transporters do. _

_TASHA: On the viewer, Captain! _

_(The alien vessel transforms into a giant space jellyfish) _

_PICARD: Groppler, you captured something like that, didn't you? _

_ZORN: Warn my people, please, to leave Farpoint Station immediately! _

_Q: He lies, Captain. Shouldn't you let his people die? _

_PICARD: Transmit the message, leave Farpoint Space Station immediately. _

_TROI: Then it was a pair of creatures I was sensing. One down there in grief and pain, the other up here, filled with anger. _

_DATA: And firing not on the new space station, but on the Bandi and their city. _

_PICARD: Attacking those who had captured, capture its mate. _

_TASHA: Energy beam ready, sir. _

_PICARD: Lock it in on Farpoint Station. _

_Q: I see now it was too simple a puzzle. Generosity has always been my weakness. _

_PICARD: Let it have whatever it can absorb. Energize. _

_(A stream of light bathes Farpoint) _

"Nice job, Captain," said Worf.

"Oh, thank you Mr. Worf," said Picard, half taken aback.

_TASHA: Now getting feedback on the beam, sir. _

_PICARD: Discontinue. Groppler Zorn, there'll soon be no Farpoint Station, if I'm right about this. _

_Q: A lucky guess. _

_(Farpoint transforms into another space jellyfish) _

_ZORN: Please believe me, we meant no harm to the creature. It was starving for energy. _

_PICARD: Which your world furnishes you in plenty. _

_ZORN: We did feed it. _

_PICARD: Only enough to keep it alive, so that you could force it to shape itself into whatever form you needed! _

"Picard has spoken!" joked Riker.

_(The second jellyfish takes off, and the two touch tendrils, lovingly, before leaving) _

_TROI: Sir! Wonderful! A feeling of great joy. And gratitude. Great joy and gratitude, from both of them. _

"Finally!" shouted Troi.

_PICARD: Why do you use other lifeforms for recreation? _

"Almost all of them," laughed Picard.

_Q: If so, you've not provided the best. _

_PICARD: Leave us! We've passed your little test. _

"Picard has spoken, BITCHES!" shouted Riker.

_Q: Temper, temper, mon Capitaine. _

_PICARD: Get off my ship. _

_Q: I do so only because it suits me to. But I will not promise never to appear again. _

"Unfortunately," muttered Worf.

_Captain's log, stardate 41174.2. The agreement for the rebuilding Farpoint Station has been completed per my instructions. _

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: All stations? _

_DATA: Ready for departure, sir. _

_PICARD: Some problem, Riker? _

_RIKER: Just hoping this isn't the usual way our missions will go, sir. _

_PICARD: Oh no, Number One. I'm sure most will be much more interesting. _

"So true," said Riker

_PICARD: Let's see what's out there. Engage._

The theme music played, as an image of the _Enterprise-D_ warping off concluded the episode.

"See, wasn't that fun?" said Troi. Everyone nodded.

"Well, I believe that Dr. Crusher and I have some business to attend to," joked Picard.

"Now wait a second! There's still time for another episode!" said Troi.

"Well, I guess one more. Then I really do have to get back to work," said Picard firmly.

"Awesome!" said Troi. "Computer, show Star Trek: The Next Generation episode two."

"Program ready."

"What's this episode called?" asked Riker.

"The Naked Now," responded the computer.

"Oh dear god," said Picard.

**A/N: Hi guys! So there's the second installment! So as the characters indicated, the next chapter will be episode two: The Naked Now. After that, I may jump around to some of my favorite episode, such as Best of Both Worlds, All Good Things…, A Matter of Honor, etc. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	3. The Naked Now

TNG Watches TNG: The Naked Now

**A/N: Hi guys! Sorry for the long delay. These take a long time to write. I'm also working on a novel for NaNoWriMo. But anyway, here's the next installment:**

"Are you serious that the next episode is called 'The Naked Now'? This better not be any pornography," warned Picard. "Because I can't stomach those actors doing it, pretending to be us!"

"I promise, it's nothing like that," assure Troi. "And remember how much you liked the last one."

"You have a point there, Counselor."

"Alright!" cheered Riker.

"Computer: begin program," said Troi.

_Captain's Log, Stardate: 41209.2. We are running at warp seven to rendezvous with the science vessel SS Tsiolkovsky, which has been routinely monitoring the collapse of a red super giant star into a white dwarf. What has brought us here is a series of strange messages indicating something has gone wrong aboard the research vessel. _

"I wonder how intoxicated they're going to portray them as," said Beverly.

_[Bridge] _

_(There is the sound of laughter coming over the comm. system) _

_DATA: SS Tsiolkovsky, repeat your message. _

_WOMAN [OC]: Well hello, Enterprise. Welcome. I hope you have a lot of pretty boys on board, because I'm willing and waiting. In fact, we're going to have a real blow-out here. _

"I'm a pretty boy," volunteered Riker, jokingly.

"Will, is there something you'd like to tell us?" joked Troi.

_MAN [OC]: Do it! Yeah, go ahead. Do it! (BANG) _

_DATA: Captain, what we just heard is impossible. _

_PICARD: Report. _

_DATA: I believe that last sound we heard was an emergency hatch being blown. _

_PICARD: Are you certain? Yes, of course you are. _

"He was never wrong," commented Picard. "Except when he tried to take over the _Enterprise_-that wasn't good." Riker snorted.

_RIKER: Data, Geordi, Tasha. _

_WORF: Sensor scan now reveals no life signs aboard, Captain. _

"I wonder why," said Troi sarcastically. "It's not like they just blew the hatch or anything."

_(The Enterprise comes up to the ship in orbit) _

_[Tsiolkovsky] _

_(The group beam into an area with scattered furniture and a Red Alert) _

_RIKER: Cover the ship as planned. Move out. _

_DATA: Indications of what humans would call a wild party? _

"No shit, Data," laughed Riker.

_(They find a monitor, with a static laden image) _

_RIKER: Their Bridge. If this thing works, be sure to record everything. _

_(The picture gets cleaned up) _

_RIKER: You were right. Somebody blew the hatch. They were all sucked out into space. _

_DATA: Correction, sir, that's blown out. _

"That's what she said," joked Riker, who was elbowed by Troi.

_RIKER: Thank you, Data. _

_DATA: A common mistake, sir, _

"He really did believe he was better than us," said Picard.

_TASHA [OC]: Commander Riker, Lieutenant Yar. Location: Engineering. Ten people here, sir, all frozen. No vital signs. _

_RIKER: Frozen? How? _

_TASHA [OC]: It looks like someone has been playing with the environmental controls, sir. Just let all the heat bleed away into space. _

_[Tsiolkovsky Crew Quarters] _

_(Another group of frozen people just lounging about. Some are in a state of undress) _

"Oh yeah! That looks like one of MY parties," joked Riker.

_LAFORGE: Sir, Lieutenant La Forge in the crew quarters. Something in here. _

_(He finds a door which is trying to close. He opens it and a corpse falls out into his arms._

_[Tsiolkovsky] _

_RIKER: Riker to Captain, I have a report for you, sir. _

_PICARD [OC]: Picard here. _

_RIKER: They're all dead. _

"Dun dun dun," said Riker.

_[Bridge] _

_RIKER [OC]: Apparently some were apparently blown out the emergency hatches. _

_PICARD: But there were eighty people on that ship, Number One. _

_RIKER [OC]: Yes sir. _

_[Tsiolkovsky] _

_RIKER: As I said, all dead. _

"What don't you get, Captain?" asked Riker to Picard, who frowned.

_Captain's Log, supplemental. We are downloading the research information gathered on the collapsing star nearby. I am concerned at being in such close orbit, but the Tsiolkovsky's research records will no doubt predict the time of the star's final collapse. _

_[Crusher's office] _

_CRUSHER: I can't find anything unusual in any of the Tricorder readings they've sent over, Captain. _

_PICARD: Give me a theory, Doctor. Anything. Madness? Mass hysteria? Delusion? _

"Yes, yes, and yes," said Beverly.

_TROI: Any or all, Captain. _

"Like I said."

_PICARD: All right. Let's bring the away team back. Set the transporter to maximum decontamination, and then full examination and observation when they're here. _

_[Sickbay] _

_CRUSHER: If you were any more perfect, Data, I'd write you up in a Starfleet medical textbook. _

_DATA: I am already listed in several bio-mechanical texts, Doctor. _

"Indeed he is," said Beverly. "I did look it up."

_CRUSHER: Yes of course. You're next, Lieutenant. _

_(Geordi lays on the bed) _

_CRUSHER: Normal all across. Except, why are you perspiring, Lieutenant? _

_LAFORGE: I suppose because you have it too hot in here. What else would it be? _

"Damn Geordi! Pushy much?"

_RIKER: That doesn't sound like you, Geordi. _

_LAFORGE: Well, maybe it's not. Maybe she threw her voice. Hey, it was a joke. _

_CRUSHER: Of course, but I would like to run one or two more tests on you, Lieutenant. _

_[Bridge] _

_CRUSHER: [OC]: Sickbay to Bridge, _

_PICARD: Picard here. Go ahead, Doctor. _

_CRUSHER: [OC]: I'm confining Lieutenant La Forge to Sickbay until further notice. _

_PICARD: Do we have a problem, Doctor? _

"Yes," responded Beverly.

_[Crusher's office] _

_CRUSHER: I don't know yet. _

"Really?" asked Picard, smirking. Beverly elbowed him.

_[Bridge] _

_RIKER: Data, I need help in locating some library computer information. _

_DATA: Specifics, sir? _

_RIKER: All I have is a vague memory of reading somewhere about someone taking a shower in his or her clothing. _

"Se-xy" joked Riker.

_DATA: Ah. The body Geordi discovered. _

_RIKER: I believe it may have happened before. _

_DATA: To someone, somewhere. _

_RIKER: This ought to be easy for someone written up in bio-mechanical texts. _

_DATA: About that, sir. Did the Doctor believe I was boasting?_

"Yes," said Beverly. They all laughed. 

_RIKER: Probably. This may take some time. _

_DATA: At least several hours. But what I said was a statement of fact. Perhaps she will look it up. _

_RIKER: You can depend on it. _

"And I did," said Beverly. Everyone looked at her oddly. "What? I did."

_[Sickbay] _

_(While Beverly puts the results of her latest scan into her computer, Geordi takes off his comm. badge and walks out into the corridor. When she gets there, he is nowhere in sight) _

_CRUSHER: Geordi! _

"Shit!" muttered Beverly.

_[Crusher's office] _

_CRUSHER: Security. Lieutenant La Forge just left Sickbay while I was in my office. _

_[Bridge] _

_CRUSHER [OC]: He doesn't have his communicator. It is very important that we find him. _

_TASHA: Security team alert, pick up Lieutenant La Forge. He just left Sickbay moments ago. Captain, anything further? _

_PICARD: Affirmative. Make it a ship-wide search, Lieutenant. _

_[Crusher's quarters] _

_(Geordi is with Wesley, who is showing off his latest device by floating a chair around the room) _

_WESLEY: It's a model of the same kind of tractor beam our ship uses with a few ideas of my own added. _

"Shut up, Wesley," said Riker.

"Shut up Wesley?" asked Beverly. "I am still his mother!"

"Sorry ma'am," said Riker, cowering.

_LAFORGE: So that's your science project, huh? Wes, you're really something. _

_WESLEY: And since the Captain won't let me on the Bridge, I use this to imagine I'm there. _

_PICARD [OC]: Take the helm, Mister Crusher. Set a course for thirty seven mark one hundred eighty. Warp six. _

"Wesley!" cried Picard.

_LAFORGE: It's the Captain's voice. _

"No shit," said Riker.

_WESLEY: It's pieced together from words he's used on the intercom. With this, I can pretend he's ordering me to take the Enterprise anywhere. And listen to this, _

_PICARD [OC]: Chief Engineer, report to the Bridge. Commander Riker, report to the Bridge. Doctor Crusher, report to the Bridge. _

"Damn kid," muttered Picard.

_WESLEY: What do you think? _

_LAFORGE: I think the Captain's lucky you're on his side. _

"Yeah," said Picard. Beverly looked at him with a mixed expression.

_WESLEY: But he still won't let me on the Bridge. And there's nothing there I don't understand. _

"That is also true," said Picard.

_LAFORGE: I wish I understood myself that well. _

_WESLEY: Are you okay? _

_LAFORGE: No, Suddenly I seem to be burning up inside. It's hot in here. _

"Geordi got a crush on Wesley!" joked Riker.

"Or, he got da vapors!" joked Picard.

"Geordi is neither homosexual, nor menopausal," said Beverly firmly.

_[Observation lounge] _

_(Geordi is staring out at the stars) _

_TASHA: Geordi? Geordi? Lieutenant Yar in the Observation lounge. Send a team here now. Medical's been worried about you. _

_LAFORGE: Help me. Help me to not to give in to the wild things coming into my mind, _

_TASHA: Geordi, my job is security, _

_LAFORGE: Tasha, please. _

_TASHA: Alright. Alright, helping is more important. Geordi, how can I help you? _

_LAFORGE: Help me to see. Like you do. _

_TASHA: But you already see better than I can. _

_LAFORGE: I see more. But more isn't better. _

_(He takes off his Visor) _

"Oh, it's getting' serious," joked Riker. "Taken' the clothes off!"

"I thought you said this wasn't pornography!" joked Picard. They all laughed.

_TASHA: Geordi, please put _

_LAFORGE: I want to see in shallow, dim, beautiful human ways. _

_(He strokes her face) _

"Oh yeah!" joked Riker, sexually.

_TASHA: We'll talk about it, Geordi. Right now I'm going to take you to Sickbay. All right? _

_LAFORGE: Yeah. _

_TASHA: Okay. Good. _

_[Sickbay] _

_TASHA: And then we got him down to Sickbay so Doctor Crusher could examine him. _

_PICARD: He wasn't violent? _

_TASHA: No, sir. He was very upset. He kept talking about wanting normal vision. _

_PICARD: Thank you, Lieutenant._

_(Tasha wipes her forehead and leaves. She's feeling warm)_

"She got da vapors too!" said Picard. Beverly rolled her eyes. 

_CRUSHER: According to our medical readouts, there's still nothing wrong with him. He looks like he's running a temperature but every instrument we have says he's not. _

_PICARD: Doctor, every person on that ship over there died. Is there any chance that whatever did it is loose on my ship? _

"Yes," said Beverly.

_CRUSHER: If you mean a disease, sir, I'd say there's no chance of it. We used full decontamination, we examined every team member very carefully, _

_PICARD: The entire crew somehow managed to kill themselves, Doctor. If it's not a disease, what else could have made them do that? _

"They high as shit!" yelled Riker, who was shushed by Troi.

_CRUSHER: The obvious alternatives would be in areas of insanity and severe emotional upset. Troi, do you feel anything unusual in the lieutenant?_

"I always knew that Geordi was crazy!" yelled Riker.

_PICARD: Security just told me that he was longing for normal eyesight. That's a sudden yearning for that. _

_TROI: Since his records show no previous mention of that, the fact that it's happened now could be important. But all I sense from him is confusion. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was intoxicated. _

"Geordi drunk as shit!" yelled Riker, who was punched by Troi.

"Stop your comments!" she told him.

"I'm just having fun!" he protested.

"Alright," she conceded.

_CRUSHER: Our tests would have shown that. Also any other signs of drugs, hallucinogens or other contaminants. _

_[Bridge] _

_(Data is going through library records with Riker hanging over his shoulder) _

_DATA: Can you provide more information, sir? Seeking an instance of someone showering in his or her clothing is _

_RIKER: I know. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack. _

_DATA: Why should anyone wish to expend his time in such a search? _

_RIKER: Correction, Data, I should have said proverbial needle in a haystack. _

_DATA: Ah, a human proverb! As in folklore, or an historical allusion, or tribal memories _

_RIKER: Historical. That's it. I remember I was reading a history of all the past starships named Enterprise. _

_DATA: Enterprise history. Aberrant behavior. Medical cross reference, _

_(Picard enters) _

_RIKER: Captain, I believe we have the answer to what happened over there. _

_PICARD: (reading the screen) The Constitution class Enterprise, Captain James T. Kirk commanding. _

"THE James T. Kirk?" yelled Picard.

_RIKER: Similar conditions. They were monitoring a planet that was breaking up, not a collapsing star as in this case. But there were the same huge shifts in gravity, _

_PICARD: Which somehow resulted in complex strings of water molecules which acquired carbon from the body and acted on the brain like alcohol. Data, download this information to Medical immediately. _

_DATA: Aye, sir. Downloading. _

_PICARD: Fascinating! The entire crew going out of control, _

_RIKER: Like intoxication, but worse. Judgment almost completely impaired, _

_PICARD: Until they found this formula, barely in time. Picard to Doctor Crusher, come in. _

_[Crusher's office] _

_CRUSHER: This is Crusher. Go ahead Captain. _

_PICARD [OC]: You can relax, Doctor. _

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: The answer to all of this is feeding into your medical banks right now. Including a cure. _

"Kind of," said Beverly.

"Sorry," said Riker.

_[Crusher's office] _

_CRUSHER: Are you certain, Captain? _

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: Absolutely. _

"Not," said Picard.

_[Troi's Quarters] _

_(Deanna enters to find her clothes strewn over her furniture, and laughter from the bedroom) _

"Oh now they getting' it on!" yelled Riker.

"Will!"

_TROI: Tasha? What are you doing? _

_TASHA: I need your advice. That's why I came to your quarters. _

_TROI: Of course. Anything I can do _

_TASHA: On clothes. You always wear such beautiful clothes off duty. And your hair always looks so nice. I want to change my image. What do you think about this? Or this one? _

_TROI: It's not for you. Tasha, I feel you're very uncertain. that you're fighting something. (their hands touch) What is it? _

_TASHA: Never mind. I'll find what I need myself. Ship's stores will have it. _

_TROI: Tasha? Tasha, wait. _

_(Tasha leaves, giggling) _

_[Bridge] _

_TROI [OC]: Troi to Captain Picard. _

_PICARD: Picard here. _

_[Troi's quarters] _

_TROI: Sir, I think Tasha's been infected too. _

"What was the giveaway?" asked Troi.

_[Bridge] _

_TROI [OC]: She just left my quarters, _

_PICARD: Counselor, it's not actually an infection. _

_[Troi's quarters] _

_TROI: Yes, sir. It's more like an intoxication. But whatever it is, she's got it. _

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: Thank you, Counselor. Number One, it seems our Security Chief has the equivalent of a snootful. _

_DATA: Inquiry, sir. Snootful? _

_PICARD: Forget it. _

_[Sickbay] _

_(Beverly is working in her office when Wesley calls out to her) _

_WESLEY: Hey, Mom, look what I can do. _

"Aww, I remember his tractor beam!" said Beverly.

_(She dashes into Sickbay to see him playing with his tractor beam device) _

_WESLEY: I've been able to widen and strengthen the beam, just like I told you last night. _

_CRUSHER: Do me a favor, Wes. There's something happening on this ship. Just to be safe, I'd like you to stay in our quarters until it's solved. _

_WESLEY: Sure, Mom, sure. Your wish is my command. _

"I wish he'd actually said that!"

_CRUSHER: Now, Wes. _

_WESLEY: Okay, but you could be stunting my emotional growth, you realize that. Why is it so hot in here, anyway? _

"Ah, shit!" yelled Beverly.

_PICARD [OC]: Picard to Crusher. _

_CRUSHER: Crusher here. _

_PICARD: Have you made a test injection yet? We're getting indications that this condition is spreading. _

_CRUSHER: No test yet, Captain, but very soon. _

_[Corridor] _

_(Tasha is sashaying down the corridor, eyeing up men, as other crew canoodle. She grabs a guy in blue and gives him a long hard kiss) _

_[Bridge] _

_DATA: Captain, another forty-one minutes will see the information from the Tsiolkovsky downloaded to us. _

_PICARD: Why so slow? _

_DATA: Slow, sir? The Tsiolkovsky has been eight months in accumulating it. _

_PICARD: How much danger from that star? Worse case. _

_DATA: Like a full collapse, sir? Any stellar material it threw this way we could still outrun on half impulse power. _

_[Engineering] _

_PICARD [OC]: Picard to Engineering. Chief Engineer report to the Bridge. _

_(A woman marches out) _

_PICARD [OC]: Assistant Chief Engineer Shimoda, report to Medical. _

_(Wesley enters and offers his sweaty hand for a shake) _

_WESLEY: Hi, Jim. Was that the Captain sending you to Medical? _

_SHIMODA: Which would leave no one on duty here. The Chief was just summoned to the Bridge. _

_WESLEY: What about me? I could call the Chief on the Bridge if anything happened. _

"Damn it Wesley!" yelled Picard.

_(Shimoda leaves, and Wesley looks smug) _

_[Bridge] _

_MACDOUGAL: Reporting as ordered, sir. _

_PICARD: What? _

_MACDOUGAL: You ordered me to report to the Bridge, sir. _

_PICARD: I did no such thing. I want you down in the Engine room just in case we need to move out of here. _

_PICARD [OC]: Attention all decks, all divisions. Effective immediately, I have handed over control of this vessel to Acting Captain Wesley Crusher. _

"What the-''

"John-Luc!"

_PICARD: Acting Captain? _

_WESLEY [OC]: Thank you, Captain Picard, thank you. And with that order dawns a brave new day for the Enterprise. _

"Oh HELL no!" said Picard.

_Captain's log, Stardate: 41209.3. The strange contaminant that led to the deaths of the Tsiolkovsky crew is now aboard the Enterprise and our Engineering section has been commandeered by young Wesley Crusher. _

_[Engineering] _

_WESLEY: And henceforth, a dessert course shall precede and follow every meal. Including breakfast. _

"Here, here!" said Riker. Picard glared at him. "What?"

_CREWMAN: Hurray for the acting Captain! _

_(The entire Engineering crew are out of their skulls) _

_SHIMODA: Never got as far as Sickbay, Wes. I feel too good for that. _

_(He walks into a force field) _

_SHIMODA: Incredible. How did you do that? _

_WESLEY: Hooked my model tractor beam into ship's power. Now it's a repulser beam too. Want in? _

_SHIMODA: Swear to be faithful to you, Captain. _

Picard snorted.

_(Wesley lets him stagger into his area) _

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: Number One, MacDougal, get that boy out of Engineering. _

_(Riker and MacDougal leave) _

_WORF: Sir, I'm getting very strange reports from all decks. _

_PICARD: Such as? _

_WORF: Such as the ship's Training Division ordering all officers to attend a lecture on metaphysics. _

_PICARD: Metaphysics? _

"Not that!" cried Riker, sarcastically.

_DATA: Confirmed, sir. And there was a rather peculiar limerick being delivered by someone in the Shuttlecraft bay. I am not sure I understand it. There was a young lady from Venus whose body was shaped like _

Riker wolf-whistled.

_PICARD: Captain to Security, come in! _

_DATA: Did I say something wrong? _

_WORF: I don't understand their humor either. _

"Thank you Michael Dorn!" cried Worf.

"Who?" they all asked.

"The actor who portrays me," explained Worf.

_SECURITY [OC]: Yeah, Captain? _

_PICARD: Where is my security chief! Get me Lieutenant Yar. _

_SECURITY [OC]: Keep your britches on. _

_TASHA [OC]: (lilting) Captain Picard. _

_PICARD: Lieutenant, where are you? _

_TASHA [OC]: I'm in my quarters, and I'm pretty busy right at the moment, Jean-Luc. _

_PICARD: All right, Lieutenant, you just stay right there. Data, please go to Lieutenant Yar and take her down to Sickbay. _

_DATA: Yes, sir. _

_(Data leaves) _

_PICARD: Captain to Security, I want all your senior supervisors to report to the Bridge immediately. _

_[Tasha's Quarters] _

_(We hear giggling as Data enters cautiously) _

_DATA: Lieutenant Yar? _

_TASHA: Here, Data. You wanted me? _

_(She has slicked down her hair, and is wearing a curious outfit that leaves the ribcage and stomach bare) _

"Oh yeah!" said Riker, you was punched by Troi.

_DATA: Captain Picard ordered me to escort you to Sickbay, Lieutenant. _

_TASHA: Did he say when? _

_DATA: I am sure he meant now. So, you need time to get into uniform. _

_TASHA: But I got out of uniform for you, Data. Do you know how old I was when I was abandoned? _

_DATA: Chronological age? No, I am afraid I am not familiar with _

_TASHA: Five. Five years old, but I survived. I learned how to stay alive, how to avoid the rape gangs. I was fifteen before I escaped. _

_DATA: I am sorry. I did not know, _

_TASHA: And what I want now is gentleness. And joy. And love. From you, Data. You are fully functional, aren't you? _

_DATA: Of course, but _

"Data's getting' it on!" said Riker

_TASHA: How fully? _

_DATA: In every way, of course. I am programmed in multiple techniques, a broad variety of pleasuring, _

_TASHA: Oh, you jewel! That's exactly what I hoped. _

_(She leads him into the bedroom and sits him down on the bed) _

"And you said this wouldn't be pornography!" yelled Picard.

_[Engineering ] _

_PICARD [OC]: What have you learned, Number One? _

_RIKER: Captain, the ship's engines are cut off from the bridge. The Assistant Chief Engineer pulled out the isolinear optical chips from command. All engines are offline. Wesley has hooked some kind of tractor beam to ship's power and he has it aimed at the door. We can't get past to get at the computer. _

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: Can you short out the power? _

_[Engineering] _

_MACDOUGAL: Yes, I can. But it's going to take some time. _

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: Do it! _

"The days before Geordi weren't good," said Picard.

"Agreed," said Riker.

_[Engineering ] _

_TROI: Bill. RIKER: Deanna, what? _

_TROI: So many minds on this ship, all free. Released, _

_RIKER: Deanna. _

_(She strokes his chest) _

_TROI: I can feel them all. What they want, what they feel. It's a side of humans I've never felt before. _

_RIKER: Come on, I'm getting you to Sickbay. _

_(He picks her up and carries her) _

"Now who 'getting it on'?" asked Picard. Riker blushed.

_TROI: Wouldn't you rather be alone with me? With me in your mind? _

"Yes," said Riker sincerely.

"Whoa there cowboy," said Beverly.

_[Sickbay] _

_CRUSHER: (injecting Geordi) The medical records we found say this works almost instantly. _

_LAFORGE: It's not fair, Doc. I've never seen a rainbow, sunset, sunrise. This is going to help me? Help me see like you? _

_(Riker enters carrying Deanna) _

_RIKER: Doctor Crusher? _

_[Crusher's office] _

_RIKER: Deanna needs your help. _

_CRUSHER: The formula from the old Enterprise didn't work. _

_RIKER: What? _

_CRUSHER: This water-carbon complex may induce the same symptoms, but somehow it's different. Maybe it's mutated. But I've got to isolate it in order to analyse it, _

_RIKER: We don't have that kind of time. _

_CRUSHER: You brought Deanna in. _

_RIKER: She's infected with _

_CRUSHER: Then you touched her! Oh, God. And you touched me. Wait! I've got to quarantine you. _

_RIKER: If I don't get the command computer back online soon, none of this, whatever this is, won't matter. We'll all be dead. _

_Captain's Log, supplemental. It is no longer an inconvenient, childish prank. Young Wesley Crusher, admittedly a victim of the Tsiolkovsky infection, is now in control of my starship. _

"That damn kid…"

"Is my son!" defended Beverly. "And you got that damn infection too," she pointed out.

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: Wes, this is Captain Picard. Do you see me? _

_WESLEY [on viewscreen]: Yes sir? _

_PICARD: You will now return control of this vessel to the Bridge where it belongs. At once. _

_WESLEY [on viewscreen]: I'm sorry, sir. Why don't you just tell me what you want done and I'll do it. _

_PICARD: Because ship captains control their own vessels, young man! _

_WESLEY [on viewscreen]: But, sir, you don't do it yourself. You give the orders, but someone else does it. What's wrong with giving me the orders to do it? _

"Wesley!" Picard yelled!

_WORF: Captain, getting unusual readings now from the dwarf star. _

_PICARD: Stand by a moment on that. Wesley. Wes. Are you aware that you're acting strangely, that a kind of infection was brought over from the Tsiolkovsky which acts like intoxication? _

_WESLEY [on viewscreen]: Are you saying that's why I feel so, so hot? So strange? _

_PICARD: That's a very adult bit of reasoning, Wes, _

_WESLEY [on viewscreen]: So you mean I'm drunk! I feel strange, but also good. _

"God, Wes!" cried Beverly.

_PICARD: Because, because you've lost the capacity for self-judgment. Now, alcohol does this, Wesley. But this contaminant we've brought back from the Tsiolkovsky does it even more so. _

_WESLEY [on viewscreen]: What would you do if you got your ship back? _

"Kill you," muttered Picard. Beverly glared at him. "Only kidding!"

_PICARD: Oh, it's very important I do, Wesley, because I must immediately lock a tractor beam onto the Tsiolkovsky, then tow it out of, _

_WESLEY [on viewscreen]: Tractor beams are my specialty, Skipper! I'll contact you when that's done. Wesley out! _

_PICARD: Wesley! Wesley! _

_(The man at Conn. gets up and staggers off) _

_PICARD: Conn, where are you headed? _

_WORF: Sir. The star. It's beginning to collapse. _

_PICARD: What the hell is happening in Engineering? _

"Wesley is happening," said Picard.

_[Engineering] _

_(Shimoda is using the chips as building blocks, Wesley is muttering and Riker and MacDougal are trying to get past the force field) _

_WESLEY: Lock on. Lock on Tsiolkovsky. _

_RIKER: Where's that sonic driver? _

_MACDOUGAL: It's over there. Okay, let's see if this cuts out his tractor beam power. (No, it doesn't) Oh, come on. _

_[Crusher's Office] _

_(The symptoms are starting to set in) _

_CRUSHER: Oh no! I must find the answer. I've got to find the answer. _

_[Bridge] _

_WORF: Captain, tractor beam. We just locked onto the Tsiolkovsky. _

_PICARD: Captain to. Wesley. Wesley Crusher, come in! _

_(Data enters, smiling and weaving slightly) _

_PICARD: Ah, Data. At least you're functioning. _

_DATA: Fully, Captain. _

"If you know what I mean!" said Riker.

_PICARD: Data, intoxication is a human condition. Your mind is different; it's not the same as _

_DATA: We are more alike than unlike, my dear Captain. I have pores. Humans have pores. I have fingerprints. Humans have fingerprints. My chemical nutrients are like your blood. If you prick me, do I not bleed? _

"That's priceless!" cried Beverly.

_(Crusher enters) _

_PICARD: Doctor, _

_CRUSHER: Captain, can I see you in your Ready Room? It's a private matter. No, actually it's an urgent one. _

"Now who's getting it on!" cried Riker.

_PICARD: But. Damn it. _

_(Data makes as if to lean on a chair, but there is nothing there and he falls) _

They all laughed hysterically at this.

_[Ready Room] _

_PICARD: Now, Doctor _

_CRUSHER: I believe I'm infected myself, Captain. _

_PICARD: Do you know what the infection is? Come on, quickly. _

_CRUSHER: Sorry. It is definitely like alcohol intoxication. The same lack of good judgment, For example, right now I find you extremely, extremely, Of course we haven't time for that sort of thing, _

_PICARD: What sort of thing? _

_CRUSHER: Oh God, would I love to show you. _

Riker wolf-whistled.

"Will!" shouted Picard and Beverly at the same time.

_PICARD: Doctor, there must be a cure. Some formula, similar to the old one, _

_CRUSHER: Damn it, damn it, Captain. My dear Captain. _

_(She tries to kiss him, but he dodges) _

"Oh yeah!" cried Riker.

"Oh buzz off!" cried Picard.

_CRUSHER: You owe me something. You do realize that, don't you? I'm a woman. I haven't the comfort of a husband. A man. _

_PICARD: Not now, Doctor. Please. _

"Why not John-Luc?" asked Beverly in a fake seductive tone. Picard laughed.

_[Bridge] _

_(Beverly goes to the Turbo Lift, and Picard waves her goodbye) _

_WORF: Bridge to Riker, Urgent. _

_[Engineering ] _

_RIKER: Riker here. _

_WORF [OC]: Sir. _

_[Bridge] _

_WORF: Sir, regret to inform you that the Captain appears to be infected. And Data. _

_[Engineering] _

_RIKER: Thank you, Lieutenant. I'm on my way. You'll have to handle this. _

_MACDOUGAL: Are you saying you're going to handle that? _

"Yes," said Picard determinedly.

_[Bridge] _

_(The star suddenly shrinks and explodes) _

_WORF: What we're seeing, sir, is a huge chunk of the star's surface blown away, heading for us. _

_PICARD: Take us _

_RIKER: Are you alright, sir? _

_PICARD: Worf, you know what to do. Take us…er _

_RIKER: Take us out of here. _

_PICARD: Right. _

Everyone laughed at this too.

_WORF: Controls are still offline, sir. _

_PICARD: Override. _

_WORF: Same result, sir. _

_[Engineering] _

_RIKER [OC]: Wes, come in please. _

_[Bridge] _

_RIKER: Wesley Crusher, this is Riker. Come in. _

_[Engineering] _

_RIKER [OC]: This is urgent. Come in, please. _

_(MacDougal gets the forcefield down) _

_RIKER [OC]: Engineering, urgent. We must have ship's power, _

_MACDOUGAL: Those are control chips! Bridge from Engineering. _

_[Bridge] _

_RIKER: The star is still collapsing. We're directly in the path of _

_[Engineering] _

_MACDOUGAL: I can't help you, Bridge! Someone here has yanked out all the control chips. _

_WESLEY: It was an adult who did it! _

"'The adult'?" Asked Riker.

_[Bridge] _

_WORF: Sir, I estimate fourteen minutes until that mass gets here. _

_MACDOUGAL [OC]: No way, sir. I cannot replace these chips in fourteen minutes. Two hours, three _

_[Engineering] _

_MACDOUGAL: Maybe. _

_WESLEY: Data could assemble them back faster. _

"No shit," said Riker.

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: What, what's that? What's that, Wesley? _

_[Engineering] _

_WESLEY: Well, they're just simple isolinear chips, sir, to Data anyway. He can shuffle them like cards. _

_(Riker hauls the drunken Data to his feet) _

_RIKER: Come on, Data, hurry. _

_Ship's log: First Officer Riker. Enterprise will be destroyed unless it can be moved out of the path of the star material hurtling toward us. Our only hope is for Lieutenant Commander Data, in the time we have left, to regain his senses and reconnect engine power to the Bridge. _

_[Engineering] _

_DATA: Nice to see you, Wesley. _

_WESLEY: Hi, Mister Data. _

_RIKER: No time for courtesy. Get the damned control chips back in place, in the correct order. Now! _

_WESLEY: It's like a game. How fast can you do it? _

_DATA: Ah, a game! _

_(So, with Red Alert screaming, Data sits down at the panel and starts slotting chips in, very quickly) _

_WESLEY: I think I can switch this to main viewer, sir, _

_(Once he sees the reality of the situation, he steps back horrified) _

_RIKER: Data, we've got eight or nine minutes at most. Can you finish by then? _

_DATA: No, this will take slightly more time than we have, sir. _

_(Riker starts sweating) _

_RIKER: Damn it, no. I can't afford to get this. _

_[Crusher's Office] _

_(Picard enters with a little skip) _

They all died with laughter- with the exception of Picard himself.

_PICARD: Beverly. _

_CRUSHER: Yes, Jean-Luc? _

_PICARD: You will address me as Captain. _

_CRUSHER: Captain? Well then, my dear Captain, you will address me as Chief Medical Officer or Doctor. _

_PICARD: I will? That's true. I started off calling you Beverly, and of course, naturally, you. I'm still not thinking straight. _

"Get a room!" called Riker.

_CRUSHER: Likewise. Where the hell was I headed? _

_PICARD: If that's something you were going to test, _

_CRUSHER: Yes, on Geordi. Come here. _

_[Engineering] _

_WESLEY: See how I reversed the fields on this, Commander? I made it into a repulser beam. _

_DATA: If we just had one minute more, sir, _

_WESLEY: If this were a hundred times more powerful than it is. Why not try it with the real thing? Why not reverse fields on this, Ma'am? If we just need an extra minute, _

_MACDOUGAL: It would take weeks of laying out new circuits. _

_WESLEY: Why not just see it in your head? Come off the main lead, split off at the force activator, then, then. If I could just think straight about this, _

_[Sickbay] _

_CRUSHER: I made this a broader based remedy. I hope. But it's still close to the formula from the old Enterprise records. _

_PICARD: Decades ago, light years away, _

_CRUSHER: But almost exactly the same conditions as here. _

_LAFORGE: Wow! What was in that, Doctor? My head's beginning to clear, _

_CRUSHER: Come here. (injects Picard, then herself) Here, take this to Engineering. I'll make up more hypos for the others. _

_PICARD: Okay, Bev. _

_[Engineering] _

_(Picard arrives and starts injecting people) _

"Way to go Captain!" joked Riker.

"Hey, I made the damn thing!" protested Beverly.

_RIKER: We're not going to make it, Captain. If we had just a minute or so. _

_WESLEY: Then reversing power leads, back through the force activator. Repulser beam hard against Tsiolkovsky. Don't you see? It's giving us a push off. The extra time we need. _

_RIKER: We're pushing away. _

_(The stellar matter hits the Tsiolkovsky, then Data finishes his task) _

_RIKER: Bridge, engage engines! _

_(Enterprise warps away in the nick of time) _

_[Bridge] _

_(Crusher's injections wipe the smiles off the remaining Bridge crew) _

_LAFORGE: Captai , something seemed to move us aside at the last minute. _

_WORF: Do we owe our thanks to Commander Data, sir? _

_PICARD [OC]: Yes, and Wesley may have given us a few seconds, too. _

_WORF: Did he say Wesley? The boy? _

_CRUSHER: He said Wesley. _

"Hell yeah!" said Beverly.

_[Engineering] _

_RIKER: It's only fair to mention Wesley in a log entry, sir. _

_PICARD: Fair's fair. And let's credit his science teacher, too. _

"Oh yeah," said Picard.

_(Picard gives Wesley his sobering up injection, and leaves) _

_[Bridge] _

_(Picard, Riker and Data enter) _

_LAFORGE: Congratulations, sir. _

_PICARD: To many people. _

_(Troi and Tasha enter. Tasha goes over to Data at a rear station) _

_TASHA: Data. I'm only going to tell you this just once. It never happened. _

_PICARD: I put it to you all. I think we shall end up with a fine crew, if we avoid temptation. So, Number One, let's go to our next job. _

_RIKER: Aye, sir. Helm, prepare for warp three. Heading two hundred and ninety four mark thirty seven. _

_LAFORGE: Warp three, heading two hundred and ninety four mark thirty seven, sir. _

_RIKER: Engage. _

The screen went black, and they all got up, stretching.

"That was a good episode," said Picard. "Maybe we'll watch some more later?"

"Sure! I knew you'd like it," said Troi. Picard stretched.

"Well, I better get back to work. Goodbye."

**A/N: So that's the end if this episode! I hope you liked it! I'm not sure what the next episode will be. Surprise! I've been really busy lately with NaNoWriMo, but once it's over, I'll post more periodically. I hope to get at least two more episodes in this month. Thanks for reading and reviewing, and sticking with me!**


	4. Q Who?

TNG Watches TNG: Q Who?

**A/N: Hi guys! I finished my novel for NaNoWriMo early, so you can expect more frequent updates. Sorry, but these take a **_**long**_** time to write! So here goes:**

John-Luc Picard sat in his ready room, well, bored. It was the first time in a long time he didn't have anything to do. He tapped in Conn Badge.

"Picard to Counselor, How about another one of those: 'Star Trek' episodes eh?" He heard Troi laugh.

"Sure Captain. Will and I will meet you on the Hollowdeck. Troi out." Picard practically ran to the Turbo Lift.

"Deck 7," he said. The lift lowered, and the doors opened. He stepped out, and Troi and Riker were waiting for him.

"Hello Counselor, Will. So what episode are we going to watch today?" asked Picard.

"It's called: Q Who?," said Troi. Picard groaned.

"C'mon you'll like it," she pushed.

"C'mon John-Luc," said the appearing Q.

"Damn it Q! can't you just leave me alone!" shouted Picard.

"Nope. Besides, I _like _hanging out with you," Q whined.

"Well I don't!" shouted Picard.

"Oh well!" Q snapped his fingers, and they were inside the Hollowdeck, and the pisode had started.

_[Engineering] _

_SONYA: Hot chocolate, please. _

"Isn't she about to spill that on you John-Luc?" asked Q. Picard sneered.

"Don't spoil it," said Troi.

_LAFORGE: We don't ordinarily say please to food dispensers around here._

"What terrible manners you teach your crew John-Luc."

_SONYA: Well, since it's listed as intelligent circuitry, why not? After all, working with so much artificial intelligence can be dehumanizing, right? So why not combat that tendency with a little simple courtesy. Thank you._

_LAFORGE: For someone who just arrived, you certainly aren't shy with your opinions._

_SONYA: Have I been talking too much?_

"Like someone else I know," sneered Picard.

"Oh c'mon John-Luc!"

_LAFORGE: No._

_SONYA: Oh, I do tend to have a bit of a motor mouth, especially when I'm excited. And you don't know how exciting it is to get this assignment. Everyone in class, I mean everyone, wants the _Enterprise_. I mean, it would have been all right to spend some time on Reiner Six doing phase work with anti-matter. That's my specialty._

_LAFORGE: I know. That's why you got this assignment._

_SONYA: I did it again. It's just that _

_LAFORGE: I know: you're excited. Look, Sonya._

_SONYA: Yes._

_LAFORGE: I don't think you want to be around these control stations with that hot chocolate, do you?_

"Oh here it comes John-Luc!" cheered Q.

_SONYA: Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't even have this in Engineering. It's just we were talking and I forgot I had it in my hand. I'm going to go finish it over here. Lieutenant La Forge? This is not going to happen again._

_(So she turns around and her drink collides with Captain Picard, going all over his uniform) _

"Ah that's beautiful!" Q snapped his fingers, and suddenly there was coffee all over the real Picard's uniform. Picard looked down.

"Q! Fix this!" he demanded.

"Temper, Temper Mon Capitane." Q fixed the uniform.

_SONYA: Oh, no! Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, Captain. _

_LAFORGE: Actually it's my fault, sir. _

_PICARD: Indeed. _

_SONYA: Oh, I wasn't looking. It's all over you._

"That's what she said," whispered Q in Riker's ear.

_PICARD: Yes, Ensign. It's all over me._

"You know you like it," Q whispered in Picard's ear, seductively.

"Q! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" shouted Picard.

"Oh, but the fun is just getting started!"

_SONYA: At least let me, sir. _

_PICARD: Ensign er, Ensign? _

_SONYA: Oh, Ensign Sonya Gomez._

_LAFORGE: Ensign Gomez is a recent Academy graduate. She just transferred over at Starbase 173._

_PICARD: Is that so? Well, Ensign Sonya Gomez, I think it will be simpler if I simply change my uniform. _

_LAFORGE: Captain, I must accept responsibility for this. _

_PICARD: Yes, Chief Engineer. I think I understand._

_SONYA: I just want to say, sir, that I'm very excited about this assignment and I promise to serve you and my ship, your ship, this ship, to the best of my ability._

"You train your officers very well John-Luc!" said Q with excitement. Picard turned around, and punched Q on the jaw. Q laughed.

"Was that supposed to hurt John-Luc? But if you insist…" Q disappeared.

"Thank God," muttered Picard.

"That's me! I'm omnipotent!" shouted Q's voice.

_PICARD: Yes, Ensign, I'm sure that you will. Carry on._

_(Picard leaves) _

_SONYA: Oh, my. First impressions, right? Isn't that what they say? First impressions are the most important._

_LAFORGE: I'll give you this. It's a meeting the Captain won't soon forget. _

"It certainly wasn't," joked Picard.

_[Turbolift] _

_PICARD: Deck nine. Officers' Quarters. _

_[Shuttlecraft] _

_(But instead of a deck, he steps out into a shuttlecraft in space) _

_PICARD: Crewman? What is going on?_

_Q: Welcome, Picard, to shuttlecraft six. _

"Damn Q," muttered Picard.

_PICARD: Q. _

_Q: There, there, haven't we been careless. A little cleaning service I'm only too than happy to provide._

_(A wave of the hand and the uniform is clean again) _

_PICARD: We agreed you would never trouble my ship again! _

"An agreement he has broken too many times!" shouted Picard.

_Q: I always keep my arrangements, sir. Look, we're nowhere near your vessel. _

_[Corridor] _

_LAFORGE: I read your graduating thesis. Now, I wouldn't have requested you if you weren't the best._

_SONYA: Where are we going?_

_LAFORGE: Ten Forward. We're going to forget about work. We are going to sit, talk, relax, look at the stars. You need to learn how to slow down._

"You can say that again," joked Riker.

_SONYA: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I can't do._

_LAFORGE: You know, you're awfully young to be so driven._

_SONYA: Yes, I am. I had to be. I had to be the best because only the best get to be here. Geordi, Lieutenant _

_LAFORGE: It's okay. Go on. _

_SONYA: Whatever is out here, we're going to be the first humans to see it. And I want to be a part of that. I want to understand it. _

_LAFORGE: Sonya, relax. You're here. You've made it. But you won't last long banging into walls. It'll be there for you, believe me. _

_SONYA: Okay. _

_LAFORGE: Look, I promise I won't let anything exciting slip past without letting you know, okay? _

_SONYA: Okay. _

_LAFORGE: Okay. _

"Okay!" joked Riker.

"Enough 'Okays'!" said Troi

_[Ten Forward] _

_(Guinan gets a strange feeling and leaves her bar to look around) _

_GUINAN: Bridge, this is Ten Forward. _

_[Bridge] _

_RIKER: Guinan? I don't remember you ever calling the Bridge before._

_GUINAN [OC]: Is everything alright?_

_RIKER: How do you mean?_

_GUINAN [OC]: Is there anything unusual happening?_

_RIKER: No Guinan, nothing out of the ordinary. Why do you ask? _

_[Ten Forward] _

_GUINAN: I'm not sure. It's just a feeling. I've had it a couple of times before. It's probably nothing. Forget that I called. Ten Forward out. _

"Shits going down!" said Riker.

_[Shuttlecraft] _

_Q: The locator beacon won't help. They'll never think to look for you this far away._

_PICARD: Enterprise, this is Picard. Stop this foolishness, Q. Return me to the Enterprise._

_Q: I suggest you change your attitude. Petulance does not become you. We have business, Picard._

_PICARD: Keeping me a prisoner here will not compel me to discuss anything with you._

_Q: It will in time. _

"Mother fmmmmm," muttered Picard.

_[Ten forward] _

_SONYA: I appreciate your advice, Lieutenant. And, I'll take it to heart._

_LAFORGE: Guinan?_

_GUINAN: Can I get you something?_

_LAFORGE: We're fine. Is everything all right?_

_GUINAN: I don't know._

_LAFORGE: I think I'll go check out Engineering._

_SONYA: I'll go with you. _

"She bugs me," said Troi. "Way too ambitious."

"Like you were once," asked Riker.

"Maybe." Troi smiled.

_[Bridge] _

_TROI: Where's the Captain?_

_RIKER: In his quarters? _

_TROI: Captain, this is Counselor Troi._

_RIKER: Computer: locate Captain Picard._

_COMPUTER: The Captain is not on the ship._

_WORF: Commander, there is a shuttle missing from bay two._

"Oh shit!" said Riker, sarcastically.

_RIKER: All stop._

_WESLEY: Answering all stop, sir._

_WORF: I have hailed the shuttle on all frequencies. No response._

_DATA: Sensors indicate no shuttle or other ships in this sector._

_RIKER: We think we can assume the Captain is aboard that shuttle._

_WESLEY: How could he get to the Shuttlebay and leave the _Enterprise_ without us knowing? That's not possible._

_RIKER: Take it easy, Wes. We're going to find him. I want to begin a methodical search. Worf: set sensors on maximum scan. Data, use our present location as a center. Plot a search pattern from these coordinates to cover the most area in the least time._

_DATA: Search pattern has been input, sir._

_RIKER: Engage, Mister Crusher. _

"I say it much better than you do, Will," joked Picard.

_First officer's Log, Stardate: 42761.3. We have not been able to determine why, or how, Captain Picard left the Enterprise. We can't even be certain he is in the missing shuttle, although that is the assumption on which we are proceeding. For the last six hours, we have been searching without success. _

_[Bridge] _

_DATA: We have covered the area in a spherical pattern which a vessel without warp drive could traverse in the time allotted._

_RIKER: Widen the area. _

_[Shuttlecraft] _

_(Q is doing his Virgil Hilts impression with a baseball, glove and bulkhead) _

_Q: Do we stay out here years? Decades? I am ageless, Picard. You are not._

_PICARD: The_ Enterprise_ will continue with Riker as Captain. _

"Hmm, not a bad idea," joked Riker, nudging Picard in the ribs.

_Q: You are an impossibly stubborn human. _

_PICARD: Return me to my ship! _

_Q: If I return you to your ship, will you agree to give my request a full hearing? _

_[Ten forward] _

_(a seamless transition to an empty room) _

_Q: You're right Picard. This is the proper venue for our discussion. _

_(Guinan pops up from behind the bar) _

_[Bridge] _

_WORF: Commander. My status board indicates that the shuttle is back in bay two._

_RIKER: Computer: locate Captain Picard._

_COMPUTER: Captain Picard is in Ten Forward. _

"Let's go hunt some Picards. I hear they're in season," joked Riker.

_[Ten forward] _

_GUINAN: I knew it was you._

"If there's ever anything wrong, Its ALWAYS Q's Fault," said Picard.

_Q: You! Picard, if you had half the sense you pretend to have, you would get her off your ship immediately. And if you like, I'd be more than pleased to expedite her departure._

_PICARD: You know him? _

_GUINAN: We have had some dealings._

"She never cared to elaborate on that," said Picard.

_Q: Those dealings were two centuries ago. This creature is not what she appears to be. She's an imp, and where she goes, trouble always follows._

_PICARD: You're speaking of yourself, Q, not Guinan._

"Amen," said Picard.

_Q: Guinan? Is that your name now?_

_PICARD: Guinan is not the issue here. You are. We had an agreement that you would stop meddling with us._

_Q: And so I have._

_PICARD: What do you want, Q? You state your business. Get on with it._

_Q: I agree, Captain. Enough about this creature. She's diverting us from the purpose of my being here._

_(Riker enters with Worf) _

"We got a visual on a Picard!" yelled Picard.

_RIKER: Which is?_

_Q: Ah, the redoubtable Commander Riker. And Micro-brain. Growl for me. Let me know you still care. _

_PICARD: Worf. _

_Q: My purpose is to join you._

_RIKER: To join us as what?_

_Q: As a member of the crew. Willing and able. Ready to serve. _

"Bullshit," coughed Riker.

_Q:This ship is already home for the indigent, the unwanted, the unworthy. Why not for a homeless entity._

_RIKER: Homeless?_

_Q: Yes._

_RIKER: The other members of the Q continuum kicked you out._

_GUINAN: Not all the Q are alike. Some are almost respectable._

_PICARD: Ready and willing. Able to serve. What would you do? Would you start as an ordinary crewman? What task is too menial for an entity?_

_Q: Sir, do you mock me?_

"Yes," said Picard.

_PICARD: Not at all. That's the last thing I would do. You, by definition, are part of our charter. Our mission is to go forth to seek out new and different life forms, and you certainly qualify as one of the most unique I've ever encountered. To learn about you is, frankly, provocative. But you're next of kin to chaos._

_Q: Captain, at least allow me to present my argument. _

_PICARD: Worf. _

_(Worf goes to stand guard outside) _

_Q: After our last encounter, I was asked to leave the Q Continuum. Since then, I've been wandering vaguely, bored really, my existence without purpose. Then I remembered all the good times I had with you. _

"More bullshit," coughed Riker.

_RIKER: The good times? The first time we met you, you put us on trial for the crimes of humanity. _

_Q: Of which you were exonerated._

"Hardly," sneered Picard.

_RIKER: The next time we saw you, you asked me to join the Q Continuum._

_Q: A big mistake that you did not accept my offer. More and more I realize that here, here is where I want to be. Think of the advantages. Now, I neither expect nor require any special treatment. And if necessary, although I can't imagine why, I will renounce my powers and become as weak and incompetent as all of you._

Riker snorted.

_PICARD: No._

_Q: No? Oh, Captain, in fairness, let me try; I deserve at least that much._

_RIKER: In fairness? You disrupt this ship, you kidnap the Captain. _

"That's not even the half of it," said Picard.

_Q: I add a little excitement, a little spice to your lives, and all you do is complain. Where's your adventurous spirit, your imagination. Think, Picard, think. Think of the possibilities._

_PICARD: Simply speaking, we don't trust you._

_Q: Oh. Well, you may not trust me, but you do need me. You're not prepared for what awaits you._

_PICARD: How can we be prepared for that which we do not know? But I do know that we are ready to encounter it._

"Maybe not," said Riker.

_Q: Really?_

_PICARD: yes. Absolutely. That's why we're out here._

_Q: Oh, the arrogance. They don't have a clue as to what's out here._

"We do now: the Borg, Species 8472, etcetera," joked Riker.

_GUINAN: But they will learn, adapt. That is their greatest advantage._

"Unfortunately, the Borg adapt too fast," said Troi.

_Q: They're moving faster than expected, further than they should._

_PICARD: By whose calculations? _

_Q: You judge yourselves against the pitiful adversaries you have encountered so far. The Romulans, the Klingons. They are nothing compared to what's waiting. Picard, you are about to move into areas of the galaxy containing wonders more incredible than you can possibly imagine, and terrors to freeze your soul. I offer myself as guide only to be rejected out of hand. _

_RIKER: We'll just have to do the best we can without you._

_Q: What justifies that smugness?_

_PICARD: Not smugness, not arrogance. But we are resolute, we are determined, and your help is not required._

_Q: We'll just have to see how ready you are._

"Yeah, shit," muttered Picard.

_GUINAN: Q! _

_(The Enterprise is thrown through space at even more incredible speed than usual) _

_PICARD: Bridge, this is the Captain. All stop._

_WESLEY [OC]: Answering all stop, sir._

_PICARD: Status? _

_[Bridge] _

_DATA: According to these coordinates, we have travelled seven thousand light years _

"At least he didn't go all _Voyager_ on us," joked Riker. Troi elbowed him.

"Will!"

_[Ten Forward] _

_DATA [OC]: And are located near the system J two five._

_RIKER: Travel time to the nearest Starbase?_

_DATA [OC]: At maximum warp, in two years, seven months, three days, eighteen hours we would reach Starbase one eight five._

_RIKER: Why?_

_Q: Why? Why, to give you a taste of your future, a preview of things to come. Con permiso, Capitan. The hall is rented, the orchestra engaged. It's now time to see if you can dance._

_(Q vanishes) _

_PICARD: Guinan, your people have been in this part of the galaxy. _

_GUINAN: Yes._

_RIKER: What can you tell us?_

_GUINAN: Only that if I were you, I'd start back now. _

"We should have listened to her," said Picard.

_Captain's log, Stardate: 42761.9. Despite Guinan's warning, I feel compelled to investigate this unexplored sector of the galaxy before heading back. _

"Dumb decision," muttered Picard.

_[Bridge] _

_WORF: Captain, the sixth planet in the system is Class M._

_DATA: There is a system of roads on this planet, which indicates a highly industrialized civilization. But where there should be cities there are only great rips in the surface._

"Da Borg! Dun dun dun!" joked Riker.

_WORF: It is as though some great force just scooped all the machine elements off the face of the planet._

"Or assimilated them," said Troi.

_DATA: It is identical to what happened to the outposts along the Neutral Zone._

_WORF: Captain, we are being probed._

_RIKER: What is the source of the probe?_

_WORF: A ship. It is on an intercept course._

_PICARD: On screen. Magnify._

_(A cube is sailing through space) _

"Oh shit!" yell Picard.

_RIKER: Full scan. _

_PICARD: Go to Yellow Alert._

"No! Go to Red Alert!"

_WORF: Going to Yellow Alert._

_RIKER: Keep the shields down. We don't want to appear provocative. _

"Like they weren't just?" said Riker.

_WORF: Aye, sir. _

_PICARD: Mister Data, what can you tell us?_

_DATA: The ship is strangely generalized in design. There is no specific bridge, no command center. There is no engineering section. I can identify no living quarters._

_RIKER: Life signs?_

_DATA: There is no indication of life._

"Nope. Just Borg," joked Troi.

_RIKER: Lieutenant Worf, what is its alert status?_

"It's status? Assimilation Alert!" joked Riker, They all laughed.

_WORF: I detect no shields, no weapons of any known design._

_PICARD: Hailing frequencies._

_WORF: Open._

_PICARD: This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise._

_WORF: No response._

_PICARD: This is Captain Picard representing the United Federation of Planets. Guinan._

_[Ten Forward] _

_PICARD [OC]: Activate your viewscreen. I would like you to monitor what's going on up here. I may need your input. _

"Ya think?" asked Riker.

_[Guinan's office] _

_(Just down the corridor from Ten Forward) _

_GUINAN: I'm here, Captain. _

_[Bridge] _

_GUINAN [OC}: Viewscreen's activated. I have the other ship._

_PICARD: You're familiar with this life form?_

_GUINAN [OC]: Yes. _

_[Guinan's office] _

_GUINAN: My people encountered them a century ago. They destroyed our cities _

_[Bridge] _

_GUINAN [OC]: They scattered my people throughout the galaxy. _

_[Guinan's office] _

_GUINAN: They're called the Borg. Protect yourself, Captain, or they'll destroy you. _

"Dun dun dun!" sang Riker.

_[Bridge] _

_RIKER: Shields up._

"Finally!" said Picard.

_WORF: Aye, sir. _

_[Engineering] _

_RIKER [OC]: All decks: stand by. _

_(A humanoid with a mechanical arm beams in) _

_LAFORGE: Security, report to main Engineering. We have an intruder._

"We should have bugged it and wiped 'em all out!" shouted Picard.

_(The intruder is studying wall panels and consoles while the tiny Enterprise hangs nose to whatever with the huge cube) _

_PICARD: Lieutenant? Status. _

_LAFORGE: It seemed to make a visual survey of the engine core, sir, then it moved in here. _

_Q: Interesting, isn't it? Not a he, not a she. Not like anything you've ever seen. An enhanced humanoid._

"Thanks for the hint," joked Riker. "Not like it was obvious or anything."

_PICARD: What is it you want? We mean you no harm. Do you understand me?_

_Q: Understand you? You're nothing to him. He's not interested in your life form. He's just a scout, the first of many. He's here to analyze your technology. He may attempt to gain control of the ship. I wouldn't let him._

"No shit," joked Riker.

_(The mechanical arm is used to pass a green light to the console) _

_PICARD: Stop! I cannot allow you to interfere with the operation of this ship. Mister Worf._

_WORF: Ensign. _

_(The security man is casually thrown across Engineering. Worf's phaser has no effect. Now the Borg steps up his electronic infiltration of the engineering systems, and the lights go out) _

_PICARD: Mister Worf, use whatever means to neutralize the intruder. _

_(A phaser on full kill knocks it down, and another Borg beams it to carry on where it left off. This time, Worf's phaser is blocked by a force field. The second Borg then goes to the dead one, removes a few attachments and beams out. The dead Borg dissolves to a dirty mark on the carpet) _

"Well damn," joked Riker.

_[Observation lounge] _

_PICARD: Because her people had contact with the Borg, I have requested Guinan to participate in this conference. You are aware of what occurred just now in main Engineering._

_GUINAN: Yes. _

_PICARD: What happened between your people and the Borg? _

_GUINAN: I wasn't there personally, but from what I'm told, they swarmed through our system. And when they left, there was little or nothing left of my people._

_RIKER: Guinan, if they were that aggressive, why didn't the Borg attack? They could have but they didn't._

_GUINAN: They don't do that individually. It's not their way. When they decide to come, they're going to come in force. They don't do anything piecemeal._

_DATA: Then the initial encounter was solely for the purpose of gathering information._

_GUINAN: Yes._

_PICARD: How do we reason with them? Let them know that we are not a threat?_

_GUINAN: You don't. At least, I've never known anyone who did._

"Except Captain Janeway," joked Riker.

_WORF [OC]: Captain, we are being hailed._

_PICARD: On screen._

_(An interior view of the cube, all girders and scaffolding) _

_PICARD: This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the _

_BORG: (many voices speaking as one) We have analyzed your defensive capabilities as being unable to withstand us. If you defend yourselves, you will be punished. _

_PICARD: Counselor? _

_TROI: We're not dealing with an individual mind. They don't have a single leader. It's the collective minds of all of them._

_PICARD: That would have definite advantages._

"Duh," muttered Riker a little too loud. Troi snickered.

_TROI: Yes, A single leader can make mistakes. It's far less likely in the combined whole._

_Q [on viewscreen]: Picard. Picard, are you sure you don't want me as a member of your crew? _

_WORF [OC]: Captain, the Borg have locked on to us with some form of tractor beam. _

_PICARD: We're on our way. _

_[Bridge] _

_(The tractor beam is green) _

_PICARD: Report, Lieutenant. _

_WORF: The beam is draining our shields._

_RIKER: If they pull down our shields, we're helpless._

"No shit," muttered Riker.

_PICARD: Warp eight, any heading. Engage._

_WESLEY: Captain, the beam is holding us here._

_RIKER: Increase power!_

_WORF: Shields weakening._

_DATA: Shields will be down in eighteen seconds._

_PICARD: Locate the exact source of the tractor beam. Lock on phasers._

_WORF: Phasers locked on target._

_PICARD: Fire._

_WORF: They still have us._

_DATA: Shields are down, sir._

_(A circular cut is made in the hull, and a section of several decks is pulled out) _

_WORF: A type of laser beam is slicing into the saucer section._

_RIKER: Carving us up like a roast._

"Yummy!" cried Riker.

_PICARD: With whatever force necessary, terminate that beam. Fire when ready. _

_(They blast a big hole through an edge of the cube) _

_PICARD: Again, Mister Worf. _

_(Two more holes are blown in the scaffolding) _

_DATA: Tractor beam is released, sir. Force field is maintaining our hull integrity. _

_RIKER: Damage report? _

_WORF: Coming in, sir. Sections twenty seven, twenty eight, twenty nine on decks four, five and six destroyed._

_PICARD: Casualties? _

_WORF: Eighteen were in those sections and are missing._

_PICARD: What is the condition of the alien ship?_

_WORF: They have sustained damage to twenty percent of their vessel. Life support minimal._

_PICARD: Conference. _

_[Engineering] _

_SONYA: I can't get the shields up._

_LAFORGE: Divert power from anywhere you need it. Anywhere except for life support._

_SONYA: No, it wouldn't help. The circuits which control the shields, they've been fused._

_LAFORGE: If you can't reprogram, then reroute._

_SONYA: Eighteen people. Dead, just like that._

_LAFORGE: I know. Just put it out of your head._

_SONYA: No, I can't. I keep seeing them._

_LAFORGE: Sonya, stop it. We'll have time to grieve later. Right now, let's just get those shields operative. _

_SONYA: Right, right, of course. _

_[Observation lounge] _

_PICARD: Guinan, how much more can you tell us about these creatures? _

_GUINAN: Bits and pieces. _

_PICARD: Anything would help. _

_GUINAN: They're made up of organic and artificial life which has been developing for thousands of centuries. _

_Q: The Borg is the ultimate user. They're unlike any threat your Federation has ever faced. They're not interested in political conquest, wealth or power as you know it. They're simply interested in your ship, its technology. They've identified it as something they can consume._

_RIKER: You brought us here, you exposed us to them, and you cost us the lives of our shipmates _

_Q: Oh, please. _

_PICARD: Number One. Eighteen of our people have died. Please, tell us this is one of your illusions._

_Q: Oh, no. This is as real as your so called life gets._

_(And he vanishes) _

_LAFORGE [OC]: This is Lieutenant La Forge, Captain. We've been able to restore power to the shields._

_PICARD: Very good. _

_WORF [OC]: Captain, I have the casualty list coming on screen._

_PICARD: Cancel. We'll deal with that later._

_RIKER: Sir, if we're going to have further dealings with the Borg now or in the future, I think that we should find out all we can about them._

_PICARD: Visit their ship?_

_RIKER: In my opinion, that's the only choice._

_PICARD: Assemble a minimal away team._

_GUINAN: What?_

_RIKER: Mister Worf, transporter room three. Data._

_GUINAN: I wouldn't go there if I were you._

_RIKER: Oh, I don't know, Guinan. They paid us a visit. It seems only fair that we return the courtesy. _

"Yeah Guinan, I was being POLITE," said Riker, tone dripping with sarcasm.

_Captain's Log: supplemental. We have been attacked without provocation by an alien race which Guinan calls the Borg. It appears that we have neutralized their vessel. Commander Riker is leading an away team in an attempt to learn more about them. _

_[Transporter room] _

_WORF: There are no life sign readings._

_O'BRIEN: I've laid in coordinates which should set you down in the least damaged section of the Borg ship._

_RIKER: Set phasers on stun. Be ready to increase power in case we need it. Energize. _

_[Borg ship] _

_(They are on one of the many walkways. Lots of wall panels, ducts and cabling overhead, Borg hooked up to alcoves everywhere) _

_RIKER: I wonder why they don't react to us, or why the Enterprise didn't read any life signs, especially with this many of them._

_DATA: Perhaps because this ship was scanned for individual life signs. Apparently when they are in these slots, they become part of the whole and no longer read as separate life forms._

"You gotta admit, they're pretty creepy," said Riker.

_RIKER: Captain. _

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: Go ahead, Number One._

_RIKER [OC]: Our readings were incorrect. The Borg crew survived _

"Because we incorrectly scanned them," said Riker.

_[Borg ship] _

_RIKER: They appear to be in some kind of stasis._

_PICARD [OC]: Explain._

_RIKER: There are slots along the wall, kind of like compartments. There are two Borg in each._

_DATA: Captain, I would theorize that the Borg are somehow interconnected through these slots and are working collectively._

_RIKER: We're going try to access their main computer._

_(Data steps into a slot - or alcove) _

_DATA: Commander, I believe each slot is designed for a specific Borg. Here is where the connection is made._

_RIKER: Like a juggernaut, it could begin moving at any moment._

_DATA: The technology required to achieve this biological and artificial interface is far beyond our capabilities. There are many advantages._

_RIKER: Speed being the most obvious. This ship literally just thinks what it wants, and then it happens._

_(A Borg walks past them, taking no notice) _

_DATA: Fascinating. _

_RIKER: They either don't see us, or don't see us as a threat. _

"Not a threat," scoffed Riker.

_[Bridge] _

_PICARD: Transporter Chief. _

_{Transporter room] _

_O'BRIEN: O'Brien here, Captain._

_PICARD: If your lock on the away team wavers in the slightest, beam them back immediately._

_O'BRIEN: Count on it, sir. _

_[Borg ship] _

_(They have reached a different part of the ship. There are baby noises, and incubator units maintained by a lot of machinery) _

_RIKER: Captain this is incredible. We've entered what appears to be the Borg nursery._

_PICARD [OC]: Describe it._

"Baby Borg: not cute, but not as deadly," joked Riker.

_RIKER: From the look of it the Borg are born as biological life form. It seems that almost immediately after birth they begin artificial implants. Apparently the Borg have developed the technology _

_[Bridge] _

_RIKER [OC]: To link artificial intelligence directly into the humanoid brain. _

_[Borg ship] _

_RIKER: Astounding. _

_DATA: Commander?_

_RIKER: What is it?_

_DATA: The ship appears to be regenerating. Perhaps this explains why they have not taken notice of our presence. Their collective effort is being directed into repairing this vessel._

_RIKER: Captain, _

_[Bridge] _

_RIKER [OC]: The Borg seem to be using their combined power to repair the ship._

_PICARD: Transporter Chief, beam the away team directly to the Bridge. _

_(O'Brien does so) _

_PICARD: Let's get the hell out of here. Warp eight. Now, Mister Crusher. Engage._

_DATA: Captain, the Borg are in pursuit._

"Oh shit," said Riker.

_PICARD: On screen. Magnify._

_RIKER: Increase to ten to the third power. _

_(They see bent metal straightening) _

_RIKER: It's continuing to regenerate._

_PICARD: Let's see if we can outrun them. Lieutenant La Forge, I want maximum warp _

_[Engineering] _

_PICARD [OC]: For as long as we can hold it. _

_LAFORGE: Yes, sir. We are passing warp eight point five. _

_[Bridge] _

_LAFORGE [OC]: Eight point eight. Warp nine._

_RIKER: Arm the photon torpedoes. See if we can slow them down._

_WORF: Torpedoes armed._

_PICARD: Fire._

_(Two nice big fireballs on the cube) _

_WORF: They had no effect._

"Duh," muttered Riker.

_LAFORGE [OC]: Bridge: this is Engineering. We are now at warp nine point six five. _

_WORF: The Borg are still gaining._

_Q: They will follow this ship until you exhaust your fuel. They will wear down your defenses. Then you will be theirs. Admit it, Picard. You're out of your league. You should have stayed where you belonged. _

_Captain's Log: supplemental. We are unable to maintain the gap between the Enterprise and the Borg ship. _

_[Bridge] _

_LAFORGE [OC]: Engineering to Bridge. _

_PICARD: Go ahead._

_LAFORGE [OC]: You've got all we can give you. _

_PICARD: I understand, Mister La Forge._

_WORF: Captain, the enemy vessel is firing on us. There are no reports of any damage to the Enterprise._

_DATA: Captain, the target was not the ship. The weapon was designed to drain the shields._

_WORF: Confirmed. Shield effectiveness has been reduced twelve percent._

_WESLEY: Captain, the Borg ship is closing._

_WORF: They're firing again. Shields have been reduced forty one percent. Another hit and we will be defenseless_

"Damn the Borg!" groaned Riker_._

_RIKER: Arm the photon torpedoes._

_WORF: Torpedoes armed._

_PICARD: Fire the photons._

_WORF: The Borg ship was not damaged._

_Q: You can't outrun them. You can't destroy them. If you damage them, the essence of what they are remains. They regenerate and keep coming. Eventually you will weaken, your reserves will be gone. They are relentless._

"Oh, go die in a hole!" yelled Picard.

"I heard that," said the voice of Q. Picard sighed.

_WORF: The Borg ship is firing. We have lost shields again. _

"Why can't we ever keep our shields up?" asked Riker.

_[Engineering] _

_LAFORGE: Captain, we've just lost the warp engines. _

_[Bridge] _

_Q: Where's your stubbornness now, Picard, your arrogance? Do you still profess to be prepared for what awaits you? _

_WORF: The Borg ship is re-establishing its tractor beam._

_RIKER: Lock on photon torpedoes._

_WORF: Yes, sir._

_DATA: Without our shields, at this range there is a high degree of probability that a photon detonation could destroy the Enterprise._

_RIKER: Prepare to fire._

_(Q swaps places with Data) _

_Q: I'll be leaving now. You thought you could handle it, so handle it._

_PICARD: Q. End this._

_Q: Moi? What makes you think I am either inclined or capable to terminate this encounter?_

"Because you're the _omnipotent _asshole!" yelled Riker.

"Watch it _Number 1_," said the voice of Q.

_PICARD: If we all die, here, now, you will not be able to gloat. You wanted to frighten us. We're frightened. You wanted to show us that we were inadequate. For the moment, I grant that. You wanted me to say I need you. I need you! _

"Oh John-Luc, you do care!" said Q, appearing, and ran to hug Picard.

"Get off me!" demanded Picard. Q complied, and released Picard.

_(With a snap of Q's fingers, the Enterprise goes whirling through space again) _

_RIKER: Position._

_WESLEY: Zero seven zero, mark six three, sir. Back where we started._

_(Q swaps places with Riker) _

_Q: That was a difficult admission. Another man would have been humiliated to say those words. Another man would have rather died than ask for help. _

_PICARD: I understand what you've done here, Q, but I think the lesson could have been learned without the loss of eighteen members of my crew._

_Q: If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you ought to go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross, but it's not for the timid._

_(Q vanishes and everyone is back in his own seat) _

_PICARD: Mister Crusher, set course for the nearest Starbase._

_WESLEY: Course laid in for Starbase Eighty Three, sir. _

_PICARD: Engage. _

_[Ten forward] _

_(Guinan and Picard are playing a version of 3D chess) _

_GUINAN: Q set a series of events into motion, bringing contact with the Borg much sooner than it should have come. Now, perhaps when you're ready, it might be possible to establish a relationship with them. But for now, for right now, you're just raw material to them. Since they are aware of your existence _

_PICARD: They will be coming._

_GUINAN: You can bet on it._

_PICARD: Maybe Q did the right thing for the wrong reason._

_GUINAN: How so?_

_PICARD: Well, perhaps what we most needed was a kick in our complacency, to prepare us ready for what lies ahead._

"Dun dun dun!" sang Riker. Q stood up.

"Now it's time for me to show you _my_ favorite episode!" sang Q.

"What's that?" asked Troi.

"A two-part episode called: The Best of Both Worlds."

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I know that some of my time references are a little off, thanks to a nice review! I'll try to fix that with my next two chapters, which, as I gave away will be the Best of Both Worlds Part I and Part II. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!**


	5. The Best of Both Worlds Part I

TNG Watches TNG: Best of Both Worlds Part I

**A/N: Thanks for sticking with me and waiting for the next chapter. Well here it is:**

"What?" demanded Picard.

"You'll see," said Q, snapping his fingers. The episode began on the screen.

_Captain's log, Stardate: 43989.1. The Enterprise has arrived at Jouret Four in response to a distress signal from one of the Federation's outermost colonies._

_[Transporter room]_

_RIKER: Anything from the surface? _

_WORF: No sir. There have been no communications from the colony for over twelve hours. _

_RIKER: Sensors picking up any signs of life? _

_WORF: None. _

_O'BRIEN: The surface environment is safe for transport, Commander. _

_[Planet surface]_

_RIKER: Mister O'Brien_

_[Transporter room]_

_RIKER [OC]]: Verify these are accurate coordinates for New Providence colony. _

_O'BRIEN: Coordinates verified, sir._

"This isn't right," said Riker.

_[Planet surface]_

_O'BRIEN [OC]: You're at the center of town._

"Err- not quite," said Riker. 

_(The center of town is at the edge of a massive crater)_

_Captain's log, Stardate: 43992.6. Admiral Hanson and Lieutenant Commander Shelby of Starfleet Tactical have arrived to review the disappearance of New Providence colony. No sign remains of the nine hundred inhabitants._

"What could possibly do that?" asked Q in a singsong voice. Picard scowled.

_[Ready room]_

_HANSON: The truth is, hell, we are not ready. We've known they were coming for over a year. We've thrown every resource we have into this, but still _

_RIKER: Then you're convinced it is the Borg? _

_SHELBY: (blonde woman) That's what I'm here to find out. The initial descriptions of these surface conditions are almost identical to your reports from system J two five. _

_PICARD: Commander Riker wrote those reports. He agrees with you. _

_HANSON: Commander Shelby took over Borg tactical analysis six months ago. I've learned to give her a wide latitude when I want to get things done. That's how I intend to operate here. _

_SHELBY: My priority has been to develop some kind, any kind of defense strategy _

_RIKER: Obviously nothing we have now can stop them. _

"Yeah…" muttered Riker.

_SHELBY: We've been designing new weapons but they're all still on the drawing board. _

"Oh great!" mocked Riker. He looked around. "Why am I the only one commenting?" No one responded.

_HANSON: We expected much more lead time. Your encounter with the Borg was over seven thousand light years away. _

_PICARD: If this is the Borg, it would indicate they have a source of power far superior to our own. _

"Oh, very good John-Luc!' cried Q.

_SHELBY: I'd like to see the colony site as soon as possible, Captain. _

_RIKER: It'll be dark there in thirty minutes. We've scheduled an away team for dawn. _

_PICARD: Number One, why don't you show the Commander to her quarters? _

_RIKER: It's our poker night, Admiral. There's always an open seat for you. _

_HANSON: Another time, Commander. Your captain and I have a lot to cover. But rumor has it Commander Shelby's played a hand or two. _

_(Riker and Shelby leave) _

_HANSON: Keep your eye on her, Jean Luc. She's one very impressive young lady. _

_PICARD: You seem rather taken with her, JP. _

_HANSON: Just an old man's fantasies. _

"Pervert," muttered Troi.

_HANSON: When Shelby came into Tactical, every admiral's uncle had a take on this Borg business. She cut through it. She put us on track. _

_PICARD: Earl Grey? _

_HANSON: Please. She'd make you a hell of a first officer. _

_PICARD: I already have a hell of a first officer. _

"Yeah!" cried Riker. "Go me!" Troi laughed.

_HANSON: Don't tell me he's going to pass up another commission? _

_PICARD: One's available? _

_HANSON: The Melbourne. It's his if he wants it. Hasn't he told you? _

_PICARD: He'll make a fine captain, JP. _

"Oh shit. I know what is going to happen here!" yelled Riker.

"Now now Riker. Don't spoil it for 'ole Johnny here," said Q. Picard frowned.

_HANSON: You may want to tell him that. We're still waiting on his decision. This is the third time we've pulled out the captain's chair for Riker. He just won't sit down. _

"But I finally did!" cried Riker.

_HANSON: Let me tell you something, Jean-Luc. There are a lot of young hotshots like Shelby on their way up. Riker could suddenly look like he's standing still next to them. He's hurting his career by staying put. If I were you, I'd kick him in the rear end for his own good._

_[Shelby's quarters]_

_SHELBY: I don't know exactly what I'm looking for, but we've tested the sections of the Enterprise's hull that were damaged by the Borg. There were some unusual magnetic resonance traces. _

_RIKER: A Borg footprint? _

_SHELBY: That's my theory. I'll see if it holds up tomorrow. I've reviewed your personnel. I'll be assigning Mister La Forge and Mister Data to accompany me on the away team. _

_RIKER: I've already assigned them to the away team. And I'll be with you as well, Commander._

"Bitch," Riker muttered. 

_SHELBY: Of course. I appreciate any assistance you can offer. Tell me, Commander. Is serving aboard the Enterprise as extraordinary an experience as I've heard? _

_RIKER: Every bit. _

_SHELBY: Good. Because I intend to convince Captain Picard I'm the right choice for the job. _

_RIKER: Job? Which job? _

_SHELBY: Yours, of course. I'm sorry. I heard that you were leaving. _

_RIKER: If I were, I'm sure you'll be the first to know. Poker's at seventeen hundred hours in my quarters. Deck eight._

_[Riker's quarters]_

_(Troi is dealing five card stud) _

_WESLEY: Got another king in the hole, Data? _

_DATA: I am afraid I cannot answer that Wesley. And as you are a newcomer to the game, may I say it is inappropriate for you to ask. I will buy another card, Counselor. _

_TROI: No help there. _

_LAFORGE: Fold. Again. _

_TROI: Three jacks looking back for the handsome young ensign. (Shelby) Pair of deuces stands. (Riker) Flush, possible straight flush. Your bet, Mister Crusher. _

_WESLEY: I'm in for ten. _

_SHELBY: Call. _

_RIKER: Now it's time for the long pants. There's your ten, and one hundred. _

_LAFORGE: He's got the straight flush, folks. _

_DATA: Not necessarily. Commander Riker may be bluffing, Wesley. _

_WESLEY: I don't think so. Fold. _

_LAFORGE: With three jacks? What, are you kidding? Wesley, you may get straight A's in school, but there's a lot you need to learn about poker. _

_SHELBY: Well, I've only got two pair, but I've got to see your hole card. I'll call. _

_(against the four hearts, Riker turns over the two of spades) _

_LAFORGE: You got him._

Troi laughed at the whole scene.

_[Transporter room]_

_RIKER: Mister Data and our guest appear to be tardy. _

"Err-not quite," muttered Riker.

_O'BRIEN: Sir, Commander Shelby and Data beamed down to the planet surface an hour ago. _

_RIKER: On whose authority? _

_O'BRIEN: On hers, sir._

"Never liked her," said Riker. Troi laughed.

"I can't imagine why."

_[Planet surface]_

_SHELBY: Morning. Early bird gets the worm, eh? We've had some interesting results. _

_RIKER: Commander Shelby. Walk with me, Commander. _

_DATA: Early bird? I believe Commander Shelby erred. There is no evidence of avifaunal or crawling vermicular life forms on Jouret Four. _

_LAFORGE: That's not what she meant, Data, but you're right. She erred. _

They all laughed.

"Ah good old Data," said Riker.

_SHELBY: I'm sorry, but I woke up early and I saw that a weather system was moving in it. It could have affected the soil readings. _

_RIKER: So without any regard to the risk of coming down alone _

_SHELBY: Really, Commander, if we ran into the Borg here, two extra bodies wouldn't've made a hell of a difference, now would they? We had three hours before the storm front hit, less than two hours now. Data was available. I took him. We came. I don't see your problem. _

_RIKER: My problem, Commander, is I expect to be notified before there's a change in my orders. _

"You tell 'em!" cheered Riker at his portrayal.

_SHELBY: Noted for future reference. Do you wish to hear my report, sir? _

_RIKER: Go ahead. _

_SHELBY: The soil contains the same magnetic resonance traces That's our footprint. There's no doubt any more. It is the Borg._

_Captain's log, Stardate: 43993.5. With confirmation of the Borg's presence in Federation space, Admiral Hanson has returned to Starbase three two four to discuss strategy with Starfleet Command. Lieutenant Commander Shelby remains on board to continue tactical preparations._

_[Ready room]_

_RIKER: I've also ordered a standing Yellow Alert. All Federation and allied outposts have been warned. Ops will continue to monitor long range sensors. I've assigned Data, La Forge and Mister Crusher to work with Commander Shelby. _

_PICARD: Good. You've covered all the bases. What's your impression of Shelby? _

_RIKER: She knows her stuff. _

_PICARD: She has your full confidence? _

_RIKER: Well, I think she needs supervision. She takes the initiative a little too easily. Sometimes with risks. _

_PICARD: Sounds a little like a young lieutenant commander I once recruited as a first officer. _

Picard and Riker laughed.

"Really?" asked Riker sarcastically.

_RIKER: Perhaps. _

_PICARD: Will, what the hell are you still doing here? _

_RIKER: Sir? _

_PICARD: You've been offered the Melbourne. _

_RIKER: I've decided not to pursue that commission at this time. _

_PICARD: She's a fine ship, Will. _

_RIKER: Yes, but she's not the Enterprise. With all due respect, sir, you need me. Particularly now. _

_PICARD: Indeed? Starfleet needs good captains, particularly now. Reconsider your decision. _

"Jeez. Pushy much?" said Riker. Picard frowned.

_RIKER: Are you telling me to leave, Captain? _

_PICARD: I'm asking you to look at your career objectively. Will, you're ready to work without a net. You're ready to take command. And, you know, the Enterprise will go along just fine without you._

"Thanks," muttered Riker.

_[Ten Forward]_

_RIKER: What am I still doing here? Deanna, I pushed myself hard to get this far. I sacrificed a lot. I always said I wanted my own command, and yet something's holding me back. Is it wrong for me to want to stay? _

_TROI: What do you think? _

_RIKER: Maybe I'm just afraid of the big chair. _

"Not that I didn't sit in it half the time."

"Oh shut up," ordered Q. "I'm trying to make you all miserable."

_TROI: I don't think so. _

_RIKER: The Captain says Shelby reminds him of the way I used to be. And he's right. She comes in here full of drive and ambition. Impatient, taking risks. I look at her and I wonder whatever happened to those things in me? I liked those things about me. I've lost something. _

_TROI: You mean you're older, more experienced. A little more seasoned. _

_RIKER: Seasoned. That's a horrible thing to say to a man. _

_TROI: I don't think you've lost a thing, and I think you've gained more than you realize. You're much more comfortable with yourself than you used to be. _

"That is true," said Riker.

_RIKER: Maybe that's the problem. I'm too comfortable here. _

_TROI: I'm not sure I know what that means. You're happy here. Happier than I've ever known you to be. So, it comes down to a simple question. What do you want, Will Riker?_

_[Engineering]_

_SHELBY: A manipulation effect in the Borg ship's subspace field. A definite pattern at four point eight minute intervals during your first confrontation with them. _

_LAFORGE: Might indicate high output auxiliary generators kicking in. _

_SHELBY: One theory is that their systems are decentralized with redundant power sources located throughout the ship. _

_DATA: That is a reasonable conclusion. Borg technology has given each member of their society the ability to interface and function collectively. It is likely they have constructed their ship with the same philosophy. _

_WESLEY: You knock out one generator and another takes over without interruption. _

_RIKER: What kind of damage would we have to do to shut them down? _

"Destroy the whole ship," joked Picard.

_SHELBY: Projections suggest that a Borg ship like this one could continue to function effectively even if seventy eight percent of it was inoperable. _

_WESLEY: And our best shot barely scratched the surface. _

_LAFORGE: Well, from what I've seen, I can't believe any of these new weapons systems can be ready in less than eighteen months, Commander. _

_SHELBY: We've been projecting twenty four. _

_RIKER: Is there anything we can do here to adapt to our current defense systems? _

_LAFORGE: We'll have to go through the specs again, but. I don't know. My mind's turned to clay. _

_WESLEY: Mine too. _

"I thought it was always that way," sneered Q.

_SHELBY: I think we should look at modifying the plasma phaser design. _

_RIKER: Commander, I think we should call it a night. That's an order. We'll reconvene at oh five hundred. _

_SHELBY: Sir, if you'll allow me to continue with Mister Data, who does not require rest. _

_RIKER: You need rest, Commander. _

_SHELBY: If we have a confrontation with the Borg without improving our defense systems _

_RIKER: If we have a confrontation, I don't want a crew fighting the Borg at the same time they're fighting their own fatigue. Dismissed._

"Riker has spoken," laughed Troi.

_[Observation lounge]_

_HANSON [on monitor]: At nineteen hundred hours yesterday, the USS Lalo departed Zeta Alpha Two on a freight run to Sentinel Minor Four. At twenty two hundred hours and twelve minutes, a distress signal was received at Starbase one five seven. The Lalo reported contact with an alien vessel described as cube shaped. The distress signal ended abruptly, and she's not been heard from since. _

_PICARD: Mister Data, how long would it take to get there at warp nine? _

_DATA: One hour, seventeen minutes, sir. _

_PICARD: Make it so. _

"Here we go," sighed Picard.

_HANSON [on monitor]: We're coming with every available starship to assist, Captain, but the closest help is six days away. _

"And that's very comforting."

_PICARD: We'll try and keep them occupied until you arrive. _

_HANSON [on monitor]: I know you will. Hanson out. _

_RIKER: All hands will stand to battle stations. _

_PICARD: Commander Shelby, what is the status of our defence preparations? _

_SHELBY: Mister La Forge has a plan to modulate shield nutation. Hopefully, that'll hold them off for awhile. _

"It better be long enough," warned Q.

"Oh shut up. You know you're rooting for the Borg!" said Picard.

_LAFORGE: At the same time, we'll be retuning phasers to higher EM base emitting frequencies to try to disrupt their subspace field. _

_PICARD: What's your assessment of our potential effectiveness? _

_LAFORGE: It's a shot in the dark, Captain. But for now it's the best we can do. _

"You puny humans are too pathetic," whined Q.

"If you dislike us so much, why don't you leave us alone!" said Riker.

_PICARD: Dismissed._

_[Bridge]_

_WORF: Sir, reading unidentified vessel just entering sensor range. Bearing two one zero mark one five one. _

_PICARD: Hail them, Mister Worf. _

_WORF: No response, sir. _

_PICARD: Move to intercept. _

_WESLEY: Aye, sir. _

_WORF: Sir, the vessel has already changed course to intercept us. Approaching at warp nine point three. Entering visual range. _

_PICARD: On screen. Magnify. _

_(It's a nasty dark cube) _

"Dun dun dun," sang Q.

_PICARD: Mister Worf, dispatch a subspace message to Admiral Hanson. We have engaged the Borg. _

"Shit's 'bout to go down," said Riker.

_WORF: Captain, you are being hailed. _

"This is too familiar," said Picard, very distressed.

_PICARD: I am? _

_WORF: Yes, Captain. By name. _

_RIKER: Data, is it the same ship we faced at J two five? _

_DATA: Uncertain, Commander, but the dimensions are precisely the same. _

"Because they're the Borg," said Riker.

_PICARD: On screen. I am Jean Luc _

_(The viewscreen just shows the inside of the cube. The voice is made up of many speaking as one) _

_BORG [OC]: Jean Luc Picard, captain of the Starship Enterprise, registry NCC-1701-D_

"Stalkers," joked Riker.

_BORG [OC]: You will lower shields and prepare to transport yourself aboard our vessel. If you do not cooperate, we will destroy your ship. _

"Lovely."

_PICARD: You have committed acts of aggression against the United Federation of Planets. If you do not withdraw immediately _

_BORG: You will surrender yourself or we will destroy your ship. Your defensive capabilities are unable to withstand us. _

"Yeah, about that…"

_(mute) _

_RIKER: What the hell do they want with you? _

_SHELBY: I thought they weren't interested in human life forms, only our technology. _

_PICARD: Their priorities seem to have changed. Open. _

_WORF: Channel open. _

_PICARD: We have developed new defense capabilities since our last meeting and we are prepared to use them if you do not withdraw from Federation space. _

_LAFORGE [OC]: Captain._

_[Engineering]_

_LAFORGE: The shields are being probed. I'm modulating nutation._

_[Bridge]_

_WORF: Captain, the Borg are attempting to lock on to us with their tractor beam. _

"Those mother f-"

_PICARD: Load torpedo bays. Arm phasers. lock coordinates on the source of the tractor beam. _

_RIKER: Shield status? _

_DATA: Holding, sir. _

_SHELBY: The nutation modulation has them confused. _

_RIKER: They have the ability to analyze and adapt, Commander. _

_(The ship shakes)_

_[Engineering]_

_LAFORGE: Shield modulation has failed. They've locked on._

_[Bridge]_

_WORF: Shields are being drained. Ninety percent. Eighty._

"Oh shit," muttered Riker.

_[Engineering]_

_LAFORGE: Trying to recalibrate nutation. Damn._

_[Bridge]_

_WORF: Shields have failed. _

"Damnit!" shouted Picard

_PICARD: Fire all weapons._

_[Engineering]_

_LAFORGE: Their subspace field is intact. New phaser frequencies had no impact._

_[Bridge]_

_RIKER: Reverse engines. _

_LAFORGE [OC]: Full reverse._

_[Engineering]_

_LAFORGE: We're not moving._

_[Bridge]_

_PICARD: Fire at will. _

"That's dangerous to say to a Klingon," joked Riker.

_WORF: Launching torpedoes. Phaser spread continuing. _

_DATA: Still no damage to the Borg vessel, sir. _

_(The Borg weapon cuts through the Enterprise like a hot knife through butter, almost) COMPUTER: Warning. Outer hull breach. WORF: They're cutting into the hull. Engineering section. _

_RIKER: Geordi, evacuate Engineering._

_[Engineering]_

_LAFORGE: Computer. Evacuation sequence. _

_COMPUTER: Sealing doors to core chamber. _

_LAFORGE: Come on, move it, people! Let's go! Let's go! _

_COMPUTER: Decompression danger, deck thirty six, section four._

_[Bridge]_

_COMPUTER: Sealing Main Engineering. _

"So much for holding out for 6 days," said Picard.

_SHELBY: Data: fluctuate phaser resonance frequencies. Random settings. Keep them changing. Don't give them time to adapt. _

_(Finally, boom and judder) _

_WORF: The tractor beam has been released. _

They all sighed.

_PICARD: Warp nine. Course, one five one mark three three zero. Engage. _

_(La Forge enters the Bridge)_

_WORF: They are in pursuit, Captain. _

_PICARD: Maintain course. _

_RIKER: Damage report, Geordi? _

_LAFORGE: Hull rupture in main Engineering. The damage is pretty heavy. We lost a lot of good people down there. _

_DATA: Eleven dead, eight more unaccounted for, Captain. _

_RIKER: Repair teams to Engineering. Seal hull breach. _

_LAFORGE: They didn't get to the core I can control functions from here. _

_WESLEY: Now approaching the Paulson Nebula, sir. _

_PICARD: Drop to impulse. Take us in, Ensign. _

_(Enterprise glides into the purple fog) _

_WESLEY: The field is getting too dense, sir. _

_PICARD: Steady. Analysis of the nebula cloud, Mister Data. _

_DATA: Eighty two percent dilithium hydroxyls Magnesium, chromium. It should provide an effective screen against their sensors, Captain._

"Convenient," said Troi.

_PICARD: Mister La Forge, prepare to reverse engines. Full stop. _

_(The Enterprise vanishes, and the Borg cube halts) _

_WORF: The Borg ship is continuing scans, attempting to locate us. _

_PICARD: Good. As long as they're looking for us, they won't hurt anyone else._

_[Observation lounge]_

_(Running a playback of the recent encounter on the wall monitor) _

_SHELBY: Time index five one four. Data started to fluctuate phaser resonance frequencies. The Borg's beam breaks contact. Slow playback. Take a closer look, Commander. Mister La Forge? _

_LAFORGE: There's a two percent drop in power for an instant, but it is system wide. The phaser frequency spread was in a high narrow band. _

_DATA: Conceivably, the ship's power distribution nodes are vulnerable to those frequencies. _

_LAFORGE: If we can generate a concentrated burst of power at that same frequency distribution, I mean a lot more than anything our phasers or photon torpedoes could ever provide. _

_RIKER: How do we do that? _

_WESLEY: The main deflector dish. _

"Finally!" said Riker.

_LAFORGE: It's the only component of the Enterprise designed to channel that much power at controlled frequencies. _

_SHELBY: End program. Unfortunately, there is one slight detail. In the process, the blast completely destroys the Enterprise as well. _

"Yeah, small detail."

_RIKER: But if we could get further away, increase the deflector's range. _

_SHELBY: It could work. In the meantime, we should retune all phasers, including the hand units, to the same frequency. _

_RIKER: Proceed. I'll inform the Captain. _

_SHELBY: There is one other recommendation I'd like to make, Commander. Separate the saucer section. Assign a skeleton crew to create a diversion _

_RIKER: We may need the power from the saucer impulse engines. _

_SHELBY: But it would give them more than one target to worry about. _

"Yeah, that's not until later."

_RIKER: It's too great a risk. _

_SHELBY: I'd like the Captain to make that decision, sir. _

_RIKER: Commander, I bring all the alternatives to the Captain's attention. That'll be all. _

_(Shelby, Wesley and Data leave) _

_LAFORGE: I'm going to need to install higher capacity power transfers to the deflector dish, Commander. _

_RIKER: How long? _

_LAFORGE: Better part of a day. _

_RIKER: She gets a full head of steam, doesn't she. _

_LAFORGE: She's a formidable presence, to say the least. But I'm convinced she can help us here, Commander. _

_RIKER: I am too. Don't worry about it. I can handle Shelby._

_[Ready room]_

_PICARD: Come. _

_(Riker enters, and Shelby is already sitting across from Picard) _

_PICARD: Come in, Number One. Commander Shelby was just telling me of your concerns about her plan. _

_RIKER: I'm sorry if she troubled you, sir. I have already informed her _

_PICARD: Yes, I entirely agree with you, Number One. It's not the time. But the time may come when we will be required to take greater risks. I want you to consider her plan as a fallback position. Make the necessary preparations. _

_RIKER: Very good, sir._

"She's such a bitch," muttered Riker.

_[Turbolift]_

_SHELBY: Deck eight. Battle Bridge. _

_RIKER: Halt. Commander, you and I need to have a conversation. _

_SHELBY: You never ordered me not to discuss this with the Captain. _

_RIKER: You disagree with me, fine. You need to take it to the Captain, then fine. Through me. You do an end run around me again, I'll snap you back so hard, you'll think you're a first year cadet again. _

"Riker has spoken, once again," said Troi.

_SHELBY: May I speak frankly, sir? _

_RIKER: By all means. _

_SHELBY: You're in my way. _

"Excuse you," said Riker.

_RIKER: Really? How terrible for you. _

_SHELBY: All you know how to do is play it safe. I suppose that's why someone like you sits in the shadow of a great man for as long as you have, passing up one command after another. Proceed to deck eight. _

_RIKER: When it comes to this ship and this crew, you're damned right I play it safe. _

_SHELBY: If you can't make the big decisions, Commander, I suggest you make room for someone who can._

_Captain's log, Stardate: 43996.2. The Enterprise remains concealed in the dust cloud. And to my surprise, the Borg have maintained their position, waiting for us to come out of hiding. I have no explanation for their special interest in me or this ship. We continue to prepare our defenses for the inevitable confrontation, but I must admit, on this night I contemplate the distinct possibility that no defense may be adequate against this enemy._

"Except for Species 8472," said Riker.

_[Ten Forward]_

_(After going through Engineering, and signing off a report or two, he enters what looks like a dark and empty place) _

_GUINAN: Trouble sleeping? _

_PICARD: Something of a tradition, Guinan. The Captain touring the ship before a battle. _

_GUINAN: Before a hopeless battle, if I remember the tradition correctly. _

_PICARD: Not necessarily. Nelson toured the HMS Victory before Trafalgar. _

_GUINAN: Yes, but Nelson never returned from Trafalgar, did he? _

_PICARD: No, but the battle was won. _

_GUINAN: Do you expect this battle to be won? _

"No," sighed Picard.

_PICARD: We may yet prevail. That's a conceit, but it's a healthy one. I wonder if the Emperor Honorious, watching the Visigoths coming over the seventh hill, truly realized that the Roman Empire was about to fall. This is just another page in history, isn't it? Will this be the end of our civilization? Turn the page. _

_GUINAN: This isn't the end. _

_PICARD: You say that with remarkable assuredness. _

_GUINAN: With experience. When the Borg destroyed my world, my people scattered throughout the universe. We survived. As will humanity survive. As long as there's a handful of you to keep the spirit alive, you will prevail. Even if it takes a millennium. _

_(Bang) _

_WORF [OC]: Captain Picard, report to the Bridge. _

_PICARD: I'm on my way, Lieutenant._

_[Bridge]_

_RIKER: They're some kind of magnetometric guided charges. _

_(The nebula is lighting up like a thunderstorm) _

_PICARD: Status of shields? _

_WORF: Back to forty eight percent, Captain. _

"Why don't our shields ever hold?" asked Riker.

_PICARD: Mister La Forge, I may have to take us out of the nebula. I want all the power you can give me. _

_LAFORGE [OC]: Engines are ready, Captain._

_[Engineering]_

_LAFORGE: Recommend we adjust shield harmonics to favor the upper EM band when you proceed. _

_PICARD [OC]: Acknowledged._

_[Bridge]_

_WORF: Direct hit, deck nine. _

_RIKER: Damage report? _

_WORF: Structural latching system integrity breached. _

_PICARD: Prepare to take us out of here, Number One. _

_RIKER: Fire up the engines. Half impulse until we clear the nebula, then punch it to warp nine. _

_PICARD: Ready phasers. Load forward torpedo bays. Engage. _

_(They whoosh out of the purple fog) _

_WORF: Borg tractor beam is attempting to lock on. _

_PICARD: Fire at will. Continue rotating shield frequency. _

_WORF: Shields failing. Tractor beam has locked on. _

"Damn the Borg and their Tractor beam!" yelled Picard.

_(A Borg beams onto the Bridge. Worf shoots it. A second one appears. This time the phaser bounces off a shield) _

_RIKER: It's no use. They've already adapted to the new frequencies. _

_(Riker tries hand to hand, and gets thrown across the Bridge. Worf is pushed off with one hand. A third Borg appears next to Picard, grabs him and beams away with him. The other Borg then vanish, the dead one leaving a dark stain on the carpet) _

"NO!" yelled Picard and Riker at the same time.

"Finally this is getting good John-Luc- or should I say Locutus?" mocked Q.

_WORF: The Borg ship is disengaging. Leaving at warp speed. _

"Damn them!" yelled Riker. Picard gasped.

_RIKER: Maintain pursuit. _

_WORF: Borg vessel has reached warp nine. Nine point four, nine point six. _

_RIKER: Stay with them. Riker to O'Brien. Can you get a fix on the Captain? _

_O'BRIEN [OC]: Negative, sir. There's some kind of interference. I can't lock in on his signal. _

_RIKER: Senior officers, report to the Bridge. _

_WORF: Sir, the coordinates they have set, they're on a direct course to sector zero zero one. The Terran system. _

_RIKER: Earth._

"Shit."

_[Borg ship]_

_(Picard is escorted to a balcony, where everyone 'talks' at him) _

_BORG: Captain Jean Luc Picard, you lead the strongest ship of the Federation fleet. You speak for your people. _

_PICARD: I have nothing to say to you, and I will resist you with my last ounce of strength. _

_BORG: Strength is irrelevant. Resistance is futile. We wish to improve ourselves. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service ours. _

"The hell it won't!" yelled Picard.

_PICARD: Impossible. My culture is based on freedom and self-determination. _

_BORG: Freedom is irrelevant. Self-determination is irrelevant. You must comply. _

_PICARD: We would rather die. _

_BORG: Death is irrelevant. Your archaic cultures are authority driven. To facilitate our introduction into your societies, it has been decided that a human voice will speak for us in all communications. You have been chosen to be that voice._

"Holy shit," muttered Riker.

"Says the one who wasn't there," muttered Picard.

_[Bridge]_

_WORF: Commander, they are leading us into the heart of our own defenses. _

_LAFORGE: Yeah, well, so far they haven't had any reason to worry about our defenses. _

"You don't say," said Riker.

_WESLEY: Commander, if the Borg stay at warp nine point six, we'll be forced to discontinue pursuit and power down in less than three hours. _

_DATA: Two hours, forty minutes and three seconds. _

_RIKER: How soon before the deflector's ready? _

_LAFORGE: We're close. Few hours maybe. I know, I'll get it done in two somehow, but Commander, I going to need serious power from the warp engines to make this weapon work. So far we're using everything we've got just to keep up with them. _

_SHELBY: Sir, we've got to get that ship down to impulse. _

_RIKER: I'm leading an away team over there to get the Captain back. We'll find a way to bring them out of warp. Ensign Crusher, you continue to assist Mister La Forge. Commander Shelby, you'll take the Bridge and coordinate with Starfleet. Data, Worf, Doctor, you're with me. _

_SHELBY: Excuse me, sir. With my knowledge of the Borg _

_RIKER: Those are my orders, Commander. _

"Yet again, Riker has spoken!" said Troi

_TROI: Commander Riker. It is inappropriate for you to lead the away team. Until the return of Captain Picard, you are in command of the Enterprise. We're in a state of war, and your place is on the Bridge. _

_RIKER: Commander Shelby, you'll lead the away team. Make it so._

_First officer's log, Stardate: 43998.5. Our pursuit of the Borg continues on a course that will take us to the very core of the Federation. The devastation they could bring is beyond imagination._

_[Transporter room]_

_WORF: These phasers have been retuned. Each has a different frequency spanning the upper EM band. _

_SHELBY: All right, a reminder. We only get to use each of these once, maybe twice, before the Borg learn to adapt. Don't fire until you have to. _

_CRUSHER: What kind of resistance should we expect? _

_DATA: At our first encounter, the Borg virtually ignored us when we beamed aboard their vessel. Clearly they did not consider our being there a threat to them. _

_SHELBY: That may change, however, if we start interfering with their plans. Shelby to Bridge._

_[Bridge]_

_SHELBY [OC]: Away team ready. _

_RIKER: We've got fifty eight minutes before we have to power down and disengage. _

_SHELBY [OC]: Understood. _

_RIKER: Proceed. Commander_

_[Transporter room]_

_RIKER [OC]: No unnecessary risks. Clear? _

_SHELBY: Very clear, sir. Shelby out. _

_O'BRIEN: We've matched warp velocity for transport, Commander. _

_SHELBY: Energize._

_[Borg ship]_

_WORF: Tricorder functions minimal. _

_SHELBY: Any signs of human life? _

_WORF: Inconclusive. _

"Damn," muttered Riker.

_(They go off down one of many similar walkways. There are Borg in their alcoves all over the place) _

_CRUSHER: Look at this. This is extraordinary. _

_(An upside down pyramid on the ceiling, throbbing with power) _

_DATA: These appear to be some kind of power wave guide conduits which allow them to work collectively as they perform ship functions. _

_SHELBY: There's no way to take out enough of these to disable them down. _

_CRUSHER: What if we look at this from a mosquito's point of view. _

_DATA: Interesting metaphor, Doctor. What is your idea? _

_CRUSHER: If we sting them in a tender spot, they might stop for a minute to scratch. _

_(Further on, at an intersection with control panels) _

_DATA: Distribution nodes. _

_SHELBY: If we take out a few of these, it just might make them scratch. _

_WORF: The Captain's communicator. It is still activated. _

_CRUSHER: Crusher to Picard. Can you hear me? _

_SHELBY: Can you locate it, Worf? _

_WORF: This way._

_[Ready room]_

_RIKER: I strongly recommend redeploying all available defenses to protect sector zero zero one, Admiral. _

_HANSON [on monitor]: We're moving to intercept at Wolf three five nine. We'll make our stand there. How much longer can you maintain pursuit? _

"The Battle of Wolf 359," muttered Riker.

_RIKER: Twenty two minutes if they stay at current speed. If we can't bring them out of warp, we'll do as much damage as we can before we have to disengage. _

_HANSON [on monitor]: Picard? _

_RIKER: Nothing yet, sir._

_[Borg ship]_

_WORF: In here. _

_(Data gently pulls a drawer out of a wall. But there's no body in it) _

"Shit! We've got trouble!" yelled Riker.

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one being transformed into a Borg Drone!" yelled Picard.

_SHELBY: Shelby to Enterprise._

_[Bridge]_

_RIKER: Go ahead. _

_SHELBY [OC]: We've found the Captain's uniform and his communicator. We're resuming our search. _

"So either you're telling the truth," said Troi to Picard. "Or you've become a stripper!"

"Deanna!" yelled Picard.

"Only kidding," she said laughing.

_(La Forge and Wesley enter) _

_RIKER: Stand by, Commander. _

_WESLEY: We're in business. _

_LAFORGE: It'll burn out the main deflector, but it'll be one hell of a bang. _

_RIKER: Radiation danger? _

_WESLEY: We're going to have to evacuate the entire forward half of the secondary hull and the lower three decks of the saucer. _

_TROI: I'll see to that. _

_RIKER: Commander Shelby_

_[Borg ship]_

_RIKER [OC]: We have only seventeen minutes of warp power left. Do whatever you can to get them out of warp. _

_SHELBY: Acknowledged. Shelby out. Let's take out some of these distribution nodes and see what happens. _

_(Data's single phaser shot has no impact. Worf joining in makes it go bang. Borg come out of their alcoves and the lights fluctuate. They take out a second one, then a third)_

_[Bridge]_

_WESLEY: Sir, they've done it. The Borg ship is dropping out of warp. _

_RIKER: Go to impulse. _

_WESLEY: Aye, sir. _

_LAFORGE: Diverting warp energy to main deflector. _

_RIKER: Move us to within forty thousand kilometers. Match velocity. Commence arming sequence. Increase deflector modulation to upper frequency band._

_[Borg ship]_

_(Borg approach the away team. They shoot at least two each) _

_SHELBY: Shelby to Enterprise. Encountering resistance. Prepare to beam us back on my signal. _

_(The next wave of Borg are shielded) _

_SHELBY: They're adapting to the frequencies. _

_(We see a familiar profile) _

_CRUSHER: Jean-Luc! _

"Locutus, actually," muttered Picard.

_(He turns to face us, and a red laser attachment stares us in the eye) _

_WORF: Captain! _

_(Worf approaches Picard, but a force field knocks him down)_

_SHELBY: Enterprise, get us out of here._

_[Bridge]_

_(The away team enter) _

_RIKER: The Captain? _

_DATA: We were unable to retrieve him, sir. Sir, The Captain has been altered by the Borg. _

_RIKER: Altered? _

_WORF: He is a Borg. _

"You don't say," gasped Picard, distressed.

"Oh, this is so much fun!" cheered Q.

_SHELBY: We'll go back. I need more people. We need to retune the phasers again. We'll get him out of there. _

_LAFORGE: Commander, reading subspace field fluctuations from within the Borg ship. Looks like they're regenerating, restoring power. They could be capable of warp any minute. _

_RIKER: Is the deflector ready? _

_LAFORGE: It's ready. _

_CRUSHER: Will, he's alive. If we could get him back to the ship, I might be able to restore _

_RIKER: This is our only chance to destroy them. If they get back into warp, our weapon is useless. _

_SHELBY: We'll sabotage them again if we have to. _

_RIKER: We can't maintain power. We don't have the time. Prepare to fire. _

_SHELBY: At least consult with Starfleet Command. Get Admiral Hanson on subspace. _

_RIKER: Belay that order, Lieutenant. There's no time. _

_WORF: Sir, we are being hailed by the Borg. _

_RIKER: On screen. _

_PICARD [on viewscreen]: I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile. Your life as it has been is over. From this time forward, you will service us. _

_RIKER: Mister Worf. Fire._

"Dramatic cliff-hanger!" cheered Q.

**A/N: So another chapter complete! Thanks for sticking with me. I know this is getting long, but it's fun to write. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	6. The Best of Both Worlds Part II

TNG Watches TNG: Best of Both Worlds Part II

**A/N: Hi guys! So I'm back with Best of Both Worlds Part II! Here goes:**

_LAFORGE: Deflector power approaching maximum limits. Energy discharge in six seconds. _

_WORF: Firing, sir. _

"It's so dramatic," said Q. It's too bad it will-"

_(A massive ray of energy goes out) _

_WORF: The Borg ship is undamaged._

"-Fail."

_SHELBY: Impossible. _

"Shut up Q!" shouted Picard.

_COMPUTER: Warning. Warp reactor core primary coolant failure._

_LAFORGE: Can't maintain it much longer, Commander. _

_COMPUTER: Warning. Exceeding reaction chamber thermal limit._

_RIKER: Cease fire. _

"Damn Borg," muttered Riker.

_LAFORGE: Shutting down warp engines._

_RIKER: They couldn't have adapted that quickly. _

_PICARD [on viewscreen]: The knowledge and experience of the human Picard is part of us now. It has prepared us for all possible courses of action. Your resistance is hopeless, Number One._

"Yeah: Number 1," mocked Q.

_First Officer's log, Stardate: 44001.4. The Borg ship has resumed its course toward Earth. We are unable to pursue pending repairs to the Enterprise._

_[Observation lounge]_

_RIKER: As we anticipated, the blast burned out our main navigational deflector. We also have damage to our shields and our reactor core._

_LAFORGE: We should be back up in eight to twelve hours, Admiral._

_HANSON [on monitor]: Well, we'll miss you at the party._

"Some party it will be," muttered Riker.

_RIKER: The Enterprise'll be there, sir. Maybe a little late, but we'll be there, sir. _

_HANSON [on monitor]: Your engagements have given us valuable time. We've mobilized a fleet of forty starships at Wolf three five nine, and that's just for starters. The Klingons are sending warships. Hell, we've even thought about opening communications with the Romulans. _

_SHELBY: You realize, Admiral, that with the assistance of Captain Picard, the Borg will be prepared for your defenses._

_HANSON [on monitor]: Lieutenant a few years ago, I watched a freshman cadet pass four upper classman on the last hill of the forty kilometer run on Danula Two. The damndest thing I ever saw. The only freshman to ever win the Academy marathon. I made it my business to get to know that young fellow. I got to know him very, very well. And I'll tell you something. I never met anyone with more drive, determination or more courage than Jean-Luc Picard. There is no way in hell that he would assist the Borg. I want that clear._

_SHELBY: Of course, Admiral. _

_HANSON [on monitor]: He is a casualty of war._

_CRUSHER: Then we have abandoned all hope of recovering him._

"Thanks guys," said Picard.

"Just following orders, sir," said Riker sarcastically.

_HANSON [on monitor]: In less than twenty four hours, this armada's going to hit that Borg vessel with everything we can muster. Either they survive or we do. As for Picard. A great man has been lost. Your Captain. My friend. Commander Riker, I hereby promote you to the field commission of Captain. The Enterprise is your ship now. Congratulations. I wish the circumstances were different._

"So you finally get the big chair," said Picard. Riker laughed.

_RIKER: Likewise. Good luck, Admiral._

_HANSON [on monitor]: To us all._

_[Borg operating room]_

_(The entity originally Picard is being augmented. He gets a prosthetic forearm with attachments, and his skin turns white. A single tear rolls from his eye.)_

"Aww, poor Johnny," sighed Q.

_[Turbolift]_

_RIKER: Mister Crusher suggests we might design a chip that would automatically retune the phasers to a random setting after each discharge. Engineering._

_WORF: That would be a great advantage._

_RIKER: We should also see if there's some way that we can neutralize their force fields. We've got to let them know that we can adapt too, Mister Worf. We're no longer just fighting the Borg, we're fighting the life experience they've stolen from Captain Picard. Now how the hell do we defeat an enemy that knows us better than we know ourselves?_

_WORF: The Borg have neither honor nor courage. That is our greatest advantage._

_RIKER: I hope it's enough._

"It will have to be," said Riker.

_[Engineering]_

_SHELBY: Accelerator coils are responding normally. _

_LAFORGE: Excellent. Forward shields at fifty eight percent. Aft shields sensors must be down _

_SHELBY: Checking. Sensors are fine. No. Aft shields have completely failed. Damn it. Auxiliary generators are out again. _

_LAFORGE: Just the man I need. We're having some problems with the aft shields. Generators going on and offline. I could really use your help, Worf. _

_RIKER: How soon do we get underway, Geordi?_

_LAFORGE: Still a couple hours. Commander Shelby can fill you in. _

_SHELBY: The main navigational deflector is functional again. Sherbourne and Barclay are running through the final testing sequence now._

_RIKER: The warp reactor core?_

_SHELBY: Reconstruction is proceeding normally. It's slow work. If we can nail down this shield generator problem, I agree with La Forge. We should be at operating capacity in two to three hours. _

_RIKER: Good. _

_SHELBY: Anything else, sir?_

_RIKER: Yes. You did a good job on the Borg ship._

_SHELBY: I didn't get Picard._

_RIKER: You stopped them. You gave us our shot._

_SHELBY: Sir, I _

_RIKER: Commander, we don't have to like each other to work well together. As a fact of fact, I'd like you to continue to keep me on my toes._

_SHELBY: Some might define that as the role of a first officer._

_RIKER: Damn, you are ambitious, aren't you, Shelby. _

"Yes," said Riker.

_SHELBY: Captain Riker, based on our past relationship, there's no reason for me to expect to become your first officer except you need me. I know how to get things done, and I have the expertise in the Borg. _

_RIKER: And you have a lot to learn, Commander._

_SHELBY: Yes, sir._

_RIKER: Almost as much as I had to learn when I came aboard as Captain Picard's first officer. A fact he reminded me of when I commented on what a pain in the neck you are._

_SHELBY: Yes, sir._

_DATA [OC]: Data to Riker. Message from Starfleet, Captain._

"Alright, that sounded weird," said Picard.

_RIKER: Go ahead, Data._

_DATA [OC]: Starfleet reports_

_[Bridge]_

_DATA: It has engaged the Borg at Wolf three fifty nine, sir. _

"Dun dun dun," Q whispered in Picard's ear.

_(Riker enters) _

_DATA: Admiral Hanson on subspace, Captain. _

_RIKER: On screen. Admiral? _

_(The image is very broken up. He's bouncing around a lot) _

_HANSON [on viewscreen]: The fight does not go well, Enterprise. We're attempting to withdraw and regroup. Rendezvous with fleet _

_(Transmission lost)_

_Captain's Log, Stardate: 44002.3. Repairs are complete, and the Enterprise is warping to rendezvous with Starfleet at Wolf three five nine. Communications from the site of battle have been cut off, possibly by Borg interference._

"Or that they're all dead," said Q. "Such a pity."

_[Observation lounge]_

_RIKER: Lieutenant Worf, everyone in this room shares my respect for your service to this ship. But right now, I need your experience at tactical. Commander Data, I realize your very nature omits ambition. Nevertheless, I want you to know I seriously considered you first officer. _

_DATA: Thank you, sir. _

_RIKER: But this is not the time for change. I need you all where you are, where Captain Picard always relied on you. I have been, reluctantly, forced to conclude that Commander Shelby, our expert on the Borg, is an ideal choice at this time for first officer. Based on our latest communication, we can assume that the Borg survived the fleet's attack. Your thoughts on our next encounter? _

_SHELBY: What about the heavy graviton beam we were talking about?_

_LAFORGE: I've gone over it four times. The local field distortion just wouldn't be strong enough to incapacitate them. _

_DATA: Doctor Crusher and I have been working on an interesting premise. _

_CRUSHER: With our recent experience in nanotechnology, we might be able to introduce a destructive breed of nanites into the Borg. _

_SHELBY: Nanites?_

_DATA: Robots small enough to enter living cells._

_RIKER: How long would it take to execute that? _

_CRUSHER: That's the problem. Two to three weeks._

_TROI: In two or three weeks, nanites may be all that's left of the Federation._

"No kidding," said Picard.

_WORF: We have the new phaser adapters. _

_LAFORGE: Maybe in concert with photon torpedoes we can slow them down. _

_RIKER: I'm sure Captain Picard would have something meaningful and inspirational to say right now. To tell you the truth, I wish he were here, because I'd like to hear it too. I know how difficult this transition has been for all of you. I can take over for him, but I could never replace Captain Picard. Nor would I ever try. Whatever the outcome, I'm sure our efforts in the coming battle will justify his faith in all of us. Dismissed._

_[Ready room]_

_RIKER: (to the empty chair) What would you do?_

_(doorbell) _

_RIKER: Come._

_GUINAN: May I speak to you, Captain?_

_RIKER: Actually, Guinan, I _

_GUINAN: You know, Picard and I used to talk every now and again, when one of us needed to. I guess I'm just used to having the Captain's ear. _

_(She sits in Picard's chair) _

_RIKER: What's on your mind?_

_GUINAN: I've heard a lot of people talking down in Ten Forward. They expect to be dead in the next day or so. They trust you. They like you. But they don't believe anyone can save them._

_RIKER: I'm not sure anyone can._

_GUINAN: When a man is convinced he's going to die tomorrow, he'll probably find a way to make it happen. The only one who can turn it around is you. _

_RIKER: I'll do the best I can._

_GUINAN: You're going have to do something you don't want to do. You have to let go of Picard._

_RIKER: Maybe you haven't heard. I tried to kill him yesterday._

_GUINAN: You tried to kill whatever that is on the Borg ship. Not Picard. Picard is still here with us in this room. If he had died, it would be easier. But he didn't._

"Well damn Guinan," said Picard.

_GUINAN: They took him from us a piece at a time. Did he ever tell you why we're so close?_

_RIKER: No._

_GUINAN: Well, then let me just our relationship is beyond friendship, beyond family. And I will let him go. And you must do the same. There can only be one Captain._

_RIKER: It's not that simple. This was his crew. He wrote the book on this ship. _

_GUINAN: And the Borg know everything he knows. It's time to throw that book away. You must let him go, Riker. It's the only way to beat him. The only way to save him. And that is now your chair. Captain. _

_(Riker sits) _

_WESLEY: We're approaching the Wolf system, Captain._

_RIKER: On my way._

"So much for sitting in the chair," joked Riker.

_[Bridge]_

_RIKER: Slow to impulse. Take us to the battle coordinates, Mister Crusher. Yellow alert. _

_WORF: Sensors are picking up several vessels, Captain. _

_RIKER: The fleet?_

_DATA: No active subspace fields. Negligible power readings. _

_RIKER: Life signs? _

_DATA: Negative, sir._

_WORF: Visual contact._

_RIKER: On screen._

_(Fragments of starships, some with flashes of fires still burning) _

_SHELBY: The Tolstoy, the Kyushu, the Melbourne. _

"That would have been my ship," he muttered.

_(Riker bows his head briefly for the crew that might have been his) _

_WORF: Sir, sensors are picking up unusually strong eddy currents, bearing two zero zero, mark two one one._

_RIKER: Data, analysis? _

_DATA: It could indicate the course of the Borg ship, sir. _

_RIKER: Ensign Crusher, set in a course that follows those currents. Commander Shelby, prepare to initiate your plan to separate the saucer section when we find the Borg._

_SHELBY: Sir. I must remind you that Captain Picard was briefed on that plan. The Borg will be prepared for it _

_RIKER: I'm aware of that, Commander. In fact, I'm counting on it._

_SHELBY: Crusher, Cartaino, Gleason. Report to the Battle Bridge. _

_RIKER: Mister Data, Mister Worf? I have a special mission for you._

_[Borg ship]_

_(The Borg ship drops out of warp. A fully Borgified Picard looks at the Enterprise approaching) _

_RIKER [on viewscreen]: Locutus of Borg, this is Captain William T. Riker of the USS Enterprise._

_PICARD: You may speak._

_[Battle bridge]_

_RIKER: We wish to end the hostilities._

_PICARD [on viewscreen]: Then you must unconditionally surrender._

_RIKER: We are prepared to meet to discuss your terms._

"The Borg don't discuss terms," said Riker. "Janeway learned that the hard way."

_PICARD [on viewscreen]: It is unlikely you are prepared to discuss terms. It is more likely that this is an attempt at deception._

_RIKER: Come now, Locutus. If Picard's knowledge and experience is part of you, then you know I've never lied to him. You should also implicitly trust me, is that not so?_

_PICARD [on viewscreen]: Picard implicitly trusted you._

_RIKER: Then trust me now. Meet to discuss terms._

_PICARD [on viewscreen]: Discussion is irrelevant. There are no terms. You will disarm all your weapons and escort us to Sector zero zero one where we will begin assimilating your culture and technology._

_(Mute) _

_RIKER: Mister Gleason, can you pinpoint the source of the Borg transmission?_

_GLEASON: I can put you within thirty meters of it, sir. _

_RIKER: O'Brien, report._

_[Transporter room]_

_O'BRIEN: The Borg have adapted their electromagnetic field to prevent main transporter functions, sir. _

_RIKER [OC]: As expected. Mister Data, Mister Worf, proceed as we discussed. _

_DATA: Aye, Captain. _

_(They switch on devices on their arms)_

_[Battle bridge]_

_CREWMAN: Channel open, sir._

_RIKER: We would like time to prepare our people for assimilation._

"The hell we won't," said Riker.

_PICARD [on viewscreen]: Preparation is irrelevant. Your people will be assimilated as easily as Picard has been. Your attempt at a delay will not be successful, Number One. We will proceed to Earth, and if you attempt to intervene, we will destroy you._

"Such a lovely race of people," said Troi.

_RIKER: Then take your best shot, Locutus, because we're about to intervene._

_CREWMAN: Channel closed. _

_RIKER: Reset subspace communications. Scrambler code, Riker One _

_GLEASON: Scrambler code, Riker One. Acknowledged._

_RIKER: Shelby, report._

_[Bridge]_

_SHELBY: Ready for separation._

_RIKER [OC]: Make it so. _

"Now you really are Captain of the _Enterprise_," said Picard.

_SHELBY: Auto-separation sequence initiated._

_[Engineering]_

_LAFORGE: Docking latches clear, separation complete._

_[Battle bridge]_

_WESLEY: Saucer velocity one hundred meters per second and increasing, sir._

_RIKER: Open fire, all weapons._

_[Bridge]_

_SHELBY: Fire._

_[Battle bridge]_

_WESLEY: Borg tractor beam attempting to lock on, sir. _

_RIKER: Evasive maneuvers, pattern Riker Alpha. _

_WESLEY: Riker Alpha confirmed. They're ignoring the saucer section completely. _

_RIKER: Just as you should, Captain. Ensign, evasive pattern, Riker Beta. _

_WESLEY: Riker Beta confirmed. _

_RIKER: Proceed to second phase, Commander Shelby._

_[Bridge]_

_SHELBY: Acknowledged. Fire antimatter spread._

_(Picard watches the lovely fireworks display, trying to figure it out)_

_[Shuttlecraft]_

_DATA: Shuttle launch sequence confirmed. Departing Enterprise in exactly three seconds._

_[Borg ship]_

_[Battle bridge]_

_WESLEY: The Borg tractor beam has moved toward the antimatter spread._

_GLEASON: They might be picking up engine ionization from the shuttle _

_RIKER: Data, cut your engines. Take her in unpowered._

_[Shuttlecraft]_

_WORF: Shuttle has penetrated the Borg electromagnetic field. _

_RIKER [OC]: Understood. _

_DATA: The shuttle escape transporter should provide enough power to beam us-_

_[Battle bridge]_

_DATA [OC]: Onto the Borg ship from here, sir. _

_RIKER: Proceed._

_[Borg ship]_

_(Worf and Data materialize, and head towards Picard the Borg. They each shoot two drones before Worf goes hand to hand with Picard. Data shoots a third drone) _

_WORF: Data! _

_(Borg Picard is easily as strong as Worf. Data does something to the back of Picard's neck to knock him out, then all three beam back aboard the shuttlecraft)_

_[Shuttlecraft]_

_WORF: Mission accomplished. We have him. _

_DATA: Firing shuttle thrusters. _

_(The shuttlecraft goes back out through the Borg shield)_

_[Battle bridge]_

_WESLEY: They're clear of the Borg field, sir. _

_RIKER: Beam them out of there, Mister O'Brien._

_[Transporter room]_

_O'BRIEN: Locked in _

_(The Borg destroy the shuttlecraft) _

_O'BRIEN: Transport successful, sir._

"Well thanks guys," said Picard.

"No problem, Locutus," said Riker laughing.

_[Bridge]_

_(Both sections of the Enterprise, and the Borg ship, hang quietly together in space) _

_SHELBY: Captain, we've sustained damage to the impulse drive._

_[Battle bridge]_

_SHELBY [OC]: The saucer section is disabled. _

_GLEASON: Reading subspace field fluctuations from the Borg ship. Looks like they're getting ready to increase power. _

_RIKER: Stand by, Mister La Forge. _

_LAFORGE [OC]: Aye, sir. _

_WESLEY: The saucer section's a sitting duck. _

_RIKER: Prepare to draw their fire. _

_WESLEY: Captain, the Borg ship is moving away. It's resuming its course to Earth, sir. _

_RIKER: Rendezvous with the saucer section. Lay in a course of pursuit._

_[Sickbay]_

_CRUSHER: There is extensive infiltration of microcircuit fibers into the surrounding tissue. His DNA is being rewritten. _

_RIKER: Can you revive him?_

_CRUSHER: I'd like more time to study the structural changes in the motor pathways. _

_RIKER: We don't have more time, Doctor. Once he was wired into the Borg, they knew everything that he knew. I just hope it goes both ways. If we're lucky, he had access to everything we need to know about them, especially their vulnerabilities._

_CRUSHER: Jean Luc? It's Beverly. Can you hear me? _

_PICARD: Beverly. Crusher. Doctor. _

_CRUSHER: Yes. Don't try to move. _

_PICARD: I am on board the Enterprise._

_RIKER: That's right._

_(Picard sits up slowly) _

_PICARD: A futile maneuver. Incorrect strategy, Number One. To risk your ship and crew to retrieve only one man. Picard would never have approved. You underestimate us if you believe this abduction is any concern. There is no need for apprehension. I intend no harm. No harm. I will continue, aboard this ship, to speak for the Borg, while they continue without further diversion to Sector zero zero one, where they will force your unconditional surrender._

_[Bridge]_

_DATA: Using multimodal reflection sorting, I have been able to detect a complex series of subspace signals between Locutus and the Borg ship. _

_CRUSHER: That's how they're controlling him? _

_DATA: It is not just a matter of control, Doctor. The signals are interactive across a subspace domain similar to that of a Transporter beam. I would hypothesize that these frequencies form the basis of the Borg's collective consciousness._

_RIKER: Can't we block them?_

_DATA: Possibly. But as you may recall on several occasions, we have witnessed the Borg removing key circuits from injured comrades, no doubt separating them from the group consciousness._

_RIKER: The injured Borg immediately self-destructed._

_DATA: That is correct, sir._

_CRUSHER: Cutting the link to Locutus might be fatal to the Captain._

_RIKER: We have to find a way to reach him. We must know what he knows _

_CRUSHER: Without these interactive signals, it would only be a matter of microsurgery. I could do it. But as long as those Borg implants are functioning, there's no way I can separate the man from the machine._

_DATA: Then perhaps there is a way I can access the machine, Doctor._

_[Sickbay]_

_PICARD: Worf. Klingon species. A warrior race. You too will be assimilated._

_WORF: The Klingon Empire will never yield._

_PICARD: Why do you resist? We only wish to raise quality of life for all species. _

_WORF: I like my species the way it is._

"So do the humans," said Riker.

_PICARD: A narrow vision. You will become one with the Borg. You will all become one with the Borg. The android, Data. Primitive artificial organism. You will be obsolete in the new order. _

_(Crusher gives him a hypospray and knocks him out) _

_RIKER: Take him to your lab, Data. _

_SHELBY [OC]: Shelby to Riker. _

_RIKER: Go ahead._

_[Bridge]_

_SHELBY: Captain, the Borg have entered Sector zero zero one. _

"Shit," yelled Picard.

_(A little later, Riker and Worf enter) _

_SHELBY: The Borg have dropped out of warp, sir. Jupiter outpost nine two reported visual contact at twelve hundred hours, thirteen minutes. _

_RIKER: Planetary defenses?_

_SHELBY: Responding. No reports on effectiveness but I can't believe that against the Borg _

_RIKER: Ensign Crusher, at their current speed, when will they reach Earth? _

_WESLEY: Twenty seven minutes. _

_RIKER: The soonest we could intercept?_

_WESLEY: Forty two minutes, sir._

"Damnit!" said Riker.

_RIKER: Riker to Data._

_[Data's lab]_

_RIKER [OC]: What's your status? _

_DATA: The initial cybernetic connection into Captain Picard's neural net pathways has been established. Mister O'Brien is ready to process the Borg signal through the transport pattern buffer._

_RIKER [OC]: Make it so. With dispatch, Mister Data. _

_DATA: Proceeding immediately, sir. Data out._

_(Data has part of his hair removed to show various ports and flashing lights in his head. Picard is on the same platform Lal used. He is naked except for some tubes and implants) _

_DATA: The neural link will be established in three stages. Doctor, I suggest you closely observe Captain Picard's life signs, while at each stage Chief O'Brien monitors my positronic matrix activity. Counselor, hopefully, you will be able to determine whether I am reaching Captain Picard._

_O'BRIEN: At what point should I shut it down if there's a problem?_

_DATA: I do not know. I have never done this before. Initiating first neural link. _

_CRUSHER: The Captain's vital signs are stable. _

_O'BRIEN: Positronic activity unchanged. _

_DATA: First neural connection is confirmed. I cannot report any significant access to the Borg consciousness. _

_(And Troi shakes her head)_

_[Bridge]_

_(The cube is met by three ships, which are immediately destroyed) _

_WORF: It is confirmed. The Borg have broken through the Mars defense perimeter. _

_WESLEY: Enterprise now approaching Terran system, sir. _

_RIKER: Slow to impulse. Time to intercept? _

_WESLEY: Twenty-three minutes, fourteen seconds, sir._

_[Data's lab]_

_DATA: Second neural connection is confirmed. I still cannot report any significant access. Proceeding with the final link. _

_CRUSHER: Significant increase in premotor area and hypothalamus activity. His heartbeat is accelerating rapidly. _

_O'BRIEN: Sir, your submicron matrix activity is increasing exponentially._

_DATA: Neural connections complete. I have access to the Borg subspace signals. Processing. Processing. _

_TROI: Data! _

_DATA: Stand by. Processing. Processing. Fascinating. The Borg group consciousness is divided into subcommands necessary to carry out all functions. Defense, communication, navigation. They are all controlled by a root command implanted into each- _

_(Picard wakes up and tries to get out. Data restrains the mechanical arm, then pulls off the working 'hand' component.) _

_CRUSHER: Data, I'm picking up increased neural activity in Captain Picard, localized in the prefrontal and parietal lobes. _

_O'BRIEN: The Borg might be trying to terminate their link with him. _

_DATA: Negative. The subspace signal configuration is unchanged. What is causing the increased neural activity is unclear. _

_TROI: No, it's not. It's him. It's Picard. _

_(Picard reaches out with his organic arm and takes hold of Data, gently) _

_TROI: Troi to Bridge._

_[Bridge]_

_TROI [OC]: Data has made first contact with Captain Picard. _

"A _very dangerous_ alien race," said Riker.

_RIKER: Can you communicate with him, Data?_

_[Data's lab]_

_DATA [OC]: I have been unable to create a neural path around the Borg implants, sir. It is Captain Picard himself who has somehow managed to initiate contact._

_[Bridge]_

_WORF: Sir, the Borg have halted their approach to Earth. _

_SHELBY: I think we got their attention. _

_RIKER: Time to intercept?_

_WESLEY: Two minutes, four seconds, sir. _

_RIKER: They're worried. They're worried because we've got access to Picard. Mister Data, we have two minutes to figure out what we can do with it._

_[Data's lab]_

_DATA: Sir, it is clear the Borg are either unwilling or unable to terminate their subspace links. _

_CRUSHER: That may be their Achilles heel, Captain. Their interdependency._

_[Bridge]_

_RIKER: What do you mean, Doctor?_

_CRUSHER [OC]: He's…_

_[Data's lab]_

_CRUSHER: Part of their collective consciousness now. Cutting him off would like asking one of us to disconnect an arm or a foot_

_[Bridge]_

_CRUSHER [OC]: We can't do it._

_SHELBY: They operate as a single mind. _

_RIKER: One jumps off a cliff, they all jump off? Data, is it possible to plant a command into the Borg collective consciousness?_

_[Data's lab]_

_DATA: It is conceivable, sir, but it would require altering the pathway from the root command_

_[Bridge]_

_DATA [OC]: To affect all iterative branch points in the _

_RIKER: Make every effort, Mister Data. _

_DATA [OC]: Sir_

_[Data's lab]_

_DATA: What command shall I try to plant?_

_[Bridge]_

_RIKER: Something straightforward, like disarm your weapons systems. _

_WORF: Visual contact with the Borg. _

_SHELBY: On screen._

_RIKER: Magnify._

_WORF: Sensors reading increased power generation from the Borg. _

_RIKER: Red alert. Load all torpedo bays. Ready phasers. _

_WORF: Aye, Captain. _

_RIKER: Status of Borg weapons? _

_WORF: Their weapon systems are fully charged. _

_RIKER: Data?_

_[Data's lab]_

_DATA: Attempting to re-route subcommand paths, Captain. Defense systems are protected by access barriers._

_[Bridge]_

_WORF: Borg attempting to lock on tractor beam. _

_RIKER: Rotate shield frequencies. Data, report?_

_[Data's lab]_

_DATA: I am unable to penetrate defense systems command structure_

_[Bridge]_

_DATA [OC]: Captain. _

_SHELBY: Try the power systems, Data. See if you can get them to power down. _

_DATA [OC]: Acknowledged._

_[Data's lab]_

_DATA: Attempting new power subcommand path._

_[Engineering]_

_LAFORGE: Shields have failed. They've_

_[Bridge]_

_LAFORGE [OC]: Locked on, sir. They're pulling us in. _

_RIKER: Fire all weapons._

_[Data's lab]_

_DATA: I cannot penetrate Borg power subcommand structure, sir._

_[Bridge]_

_DATA [OC]: All critical subcommands are protected, Captain. _

_SHELBY: Then it's over._

_RIKER: Mister Crusher, ready a collision course with the Borg ship. You heard me. A collision course._

_WESLEY: Yes, sir._

_RIKER: Mister La Forge, prepare to go to warp power. _

_LAFORGE [OC]: Aye, sir._

_[Data's lab]_

_PICARD: Sleep._

_CRUSHER: He's regaining consciousness. _

_PICARD: Sleep._

_TROI: It is Captain Picard speaking, not Locutus._

_PICARD: Sleep, Data._

_CRUSHER: He's exhausted._

_DATA: Yes, Doctor, but if I may make a supposition, I do not believe his message was intended to express fatigue but to suggest a course of action._

_[Bridge]_

_WORF: Borg cutting beam activated. _

_RIKER: Mister Crusher? Engage. _

_DATA [OC]: Data to Bridge. Stand by. _

_RIKER: Stand by, all stations._

_[Data's lab]_

_DATA: I am attempting to penetrate the Borg regenerative subcommand path. It is a low priority system and may be accessible. _

_COMPUTER: Warning. Outer hull breach._

"Now would be a great time to do something," said Picard.

_WORF: Sir, shall I execute evacuation sequence? _

_RIKER: Negative, Mister Worf. Mister Data, your final report. _

_DATA [OC]: Stand by. _

_RIKER: I can't, Mister Data. _

_COMPUTER: Warning. Inner hull failure imminent on decks twenty three, twenty four, and twenty five. Decompression danger. _

_(Then suddenly it all goes quiet. No shaking, no cutting) _

_RIKER: Mister Data, what the hell happened?_

_[Data's lab]_

_DATA: I successfully planted a command into the Borg collective consciousness, sir. It misdirected them to believe it was time to regenerate. In effect, I put them all to sleep._

_[Bridge]_

_RIKER: To sleep? _

_DATA [OC]: Yes, sir._

_RIKER: Status of Borg power drive?_

_WORF: Minimal power. _

_RIKER: Electromagnetic field?_

_WORF: Nonexistent._

_RIKER: Commander Shelby, take an away team and confirm that the Borg are asleep._

_SHELBY: Delighted, sir. Mister Worf._

_[Borg ship]_

_(She arrives with Worf and a security guard) _

_SHELBY: Shelby to Enterprise. It's true. They're all in a regeneration mode._

_[Corridor]_

_SHELBY [OC]: They're dormant, sir. _

_RIKER: Any indication to how long we can keep them like this?_

_[Borg ship]_

_SHELBY: Checking. _

_WORF: Tricorder readings are fluctuating rapidly, Commander. _

_SHELBY: Shelby to Enterprise. There are indications here that their entire power net's about to feedback on itself. I'd say we're looking at a self-destruct sequence activated by the Borg's malfunction. Do you want us to attempt to disarm it?_

_[Data's lab]_

_RIKER: Stand by. _

_CRUSHER: There's no way to know what the destruction of the Borg ship will do to him. _

_DATA: We should also consider the advantages of further examination of the Borg and their vessel, sir._

_RIKER: I don't think so. Data, separate yourself from Captain Picard. Away Team, get yourselves home. Mister Crusher, upon their return move us to a safe position._

_WESLEY [OC]: Aye, sir. _

_(And Enterprise whizzes away as the cube starts to spark and fizz. Picard staggers. Then - Ka-BOOM!) _

_CRUSHER: Life signs are stable. The DNA around the microcircuit fiber implants is returning to normal. _

_TROI: How do you feel?_

_PICARD: Almost human. With just a bit of a headache. _

_CRUSHER: We'll get you to Sickbay. We won't have any trouble getting these implants out now._

_RIKER: How much do you remember?_

_PICARD: Everything. Including some brilliantly unorthodox strategy from a former first officer of mine._

"That lead to terrible nightmares and memories," said Picard.

_[Ready room]_

_(Picard is back in uniform, with just a few implants on this side of his head. Riker still has four pips on his collar) _

_RIKER: And Earth Station McKinley has advised they're ready to begin refitting the Enterprise._

_PICARD: Have they estimated time for repairs?_

_RIKER: Five or six weeks. _

_(doorbell) _

_PICARD + RIKER: Come._

_SHELBY: Request permission to disembark, sir. _

_PICARD: Permission granted. They've picked a fine officer for the task force, Commander._

_SHELBY: We'll have the fleet back up in less than a year. I imagine you'll get your choice of any Starfleet command, sir. _

_RIKER: Everyone is so concerned about my next job. With all due respect, Commander, sir, my career plans are my own business, and no one else's. But it's nice to know I'll have a few options._

_SHELBY: I hope I have the fortune of serving with you again, sir. Captain. _

_(Shelby leaves) _

_RIKER: Course to Station McKinley ready and laid in, sir. _

_PICARD: Make it so, Number One. _

_(Picard picks up his tea, then stiffens and puts the cup down again. He goes to the window and stands looking out)_

"How's _that_ for an exciting episode," said Q.

"What I don't understand is the Borg's interest with humans. They consider us such a lesser life form, yet they are so concentrated on assimilating all of us. Why not go after the Romulans?" said Riker.

"Well anyway," said Troi. "I believe that we've got time for another episode," she said.

"This time, I'll pick the episode," said Picard.

**A/N: Hi guys! So I hope you enjoyed the chapter and that I did at least a little justice to this episode. The next chapter will be up soon! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	7. Relics

TNG Watches TNG

**A/N: Hi guys! So this is one of my favorite episodes of the entire Star Trek Universe. I hope you like this chapter!**

Relics

"So what episode have you chosen?" asked Troi.

"It's called 'Relics'. I don't know anything about it, but I hope it will be enjoyable," said Picard. "Computer begin program." The episode started playing on the screen.

_[Bridge]_

_(At the science stations) _

_DATA: Captain, I have identified the signal. It is from the USS Jenolen, a Federation transport ship reported missing in this sector seventy five years ago. _

_RIKER: Code one alpha zero. Ship in distress. _

_PICARD: Take us out of warp, Ensign. All stop. _

_RAGER: (a dark lady) Aye, sir. _

_(the ship shakes) _

_PICARD: Report. _

_WORF: We have entered a massive gravitational field, Captain. _

_DATA: There are no stars or other stellar bodies listed on our navigational charts. However, sensors indicate the presence of an extremely strong gravitational source in this vicinity. _

_PICARD: Can you localize the source of the gravitational field? _

_(Viewscreen shows a dark grey sphere) _

_RIKER: Sensors? _

_DATA: I am having difficulty scanning the object. It appears to be approximately two hundred million kilometers in diameter. _

_RIKER: That's nearly as large as the Earth's orbit around the sun. _

"Wow, That's a big sphere," said Troi.

_PICARD: Why didn't we detect this before now? _

_DATA: The object's enormous mass is causing a great deal of gravimetric interference. That might have prevented our sensors from detecting it before we dropped out of warp. _

_PICARD: Mister Data, could this be a Dyson Sphere? _

_DATA: The object does fit the general parameters of Dyson's theory. _

_RIKER: A Dyson Sphere? _

_PICARD: It's a very old theory, Number One. I'm not surprised that you haven't heard of it. In the twentieth century, a physicist called Freeman Dyson, postulated the theory that an enormous hollow sphere could be constructed around a star. This would have the advantage of harnessing all the radiant energy of that star. A population living on the interior surface would have virtually inexhaustible sources of power. _

_RIKER: Are you saying you think there are people living in there? _

_DATA: Possibly a great number of people, Commander. The interior surface area of a sphere this size is the equivalent of more than two hundred and fifty million class M planets. _

_WORF: Sir, I have located the distress signal. It is coming from a point in the northern hemisphere. _

_PICARD: Ensign Rager, put us into synchronous orbit above that position. _

_RAGER: Aye, sir. _

_(After a short while) _

_DATA: I have located the Jenolen, sir. It is impacted on the surface of the sphere. _

_PICARD: Magnify. _

_DATA: There are no life signs. However, there are several small power emanations, and life support is still functioning on minimal levels. _

_RIKER: Riker to Engineering. Geordi, join us in Transporter room three. Mister Worf._

_[Jenolen]_

_RIKER: This air's pretty stale. _

_LAFORGE: Life support is barely operating. _

_RIKER: See if you can increase the oxygen level. _

_WORF: Aye, sir. _

_LAFORGE: Commander. The transporter is still online. It's being fed power from the auxiliary systems. _

_RIKER: The rematerialization subroutine has been disabled. _

_LAFORGE: That's not all. The phase inducers are connected to the emitter array. The override is completely gone and the pattern buffer's been locked into a continuous diagnostic cycle. _

"That's a lot of tech talk," said Riker.

_RIKER: This doesn't make any sense. Locking the unit in a diagnostic mode just sends the matter array through the pattern buffer. Why would anyone want to- _

_LAFORGE: There's a pattern in the buffer still. _

_RIKER: It's completely intact. There's less than point zero zero three percent signal degradation. How is that possible? _

_LAFORGE: I don't know. I've never seen a transporter jury-rigged like this. _

_RIKER: Could someone survive inside a transporter buffer for seventy five years? _

_LAFORGE: I know a way to find out. _

_(The portly, silver-haired, late middle-aged figure of a certain starship chief engineer materializes. He is wearing a TOS movie era uniform and his left arm in a sling) _

"That's Montgomery Scott! He's from Kirk's _Enterprise_!" said Picard

_SCOTTY: Thank you, lad. We've got to get Franklin out of there. _

_LAFORGE: Someone else's pattern is still in the buffer? _

_SCOTTY: Aye, lad. Franklin. We went in together. Something's wrong. One of the inducers has failed. Boost the gain on the matter stream. Come on, Franklin. I know you're still in there. It's no use. His pattern's degraded fifty three percent. He's gone. _

_RIKER: I'm sorry. _

_SCOTTY: So am I. He was a good lad. _

_RIKER: I'm Commander William Riker, starship Enterprise. Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge. _

_SCOTTY: The Enterprise? I should have known. I bet Jim Kirk himself hauled the old girl out of mothballs to come looking for me. Captain Montgomery Scott. Tell me, how long have I been missing? _

_RIKER: Well _

_WORF: Sir. I have restored life support. The oxygen levels will return to normal shortly. _

_RIKER: Captain Scott, Lieutenant Worf. _

_SCOTTY: Lieutenant? _

_WORF: Yes. _

_RIKER: Captain, perhaps there are a few things we should talk about._

"You don't say," said Riker.

_[Transporter room]_

_RIKER: We should probably get you to Sickbay. Doctor Crusher will want to _

_SCOTTY: You've changed the resonator array. _

_RIKER: Geordi, I think our guest is going to have a lot of engineering questions. _

_LAFORGE: Not to worry, Commander. I'll take care of him, sir. _

_(Worf and Riker leave) _

_SCOTTY: What have you done with the duotronic enhancers? _

_LAFORGE: Those were replaced with isolinear chips about forty years ago. It's a lot more efficient now. That's an EPS power tap. _

_SCOTTY: Ah. _

_LAFORGE: So, you were saying earlier that you were on your way to the Norpin Colony when you had a warp engine failure?_

_[Corridor]_

_SCOTTY: Aye, that's right. We had an overload in one of the plasma transfer conduits. The Captain brought us out of warp and we hit some gravimetric interference and then there it was, as big as life. Is that a conduit interface? _

_LAFORGE: Yeah, it is. You were saying It's big as life. You mean the Dyson Sphere? _

_SCOTTY: Aye, an actual Dyson Sphere. Can you imagine the engineering skills needed to even design such a structure? _

_LAFORGE: Yeah, it's pretty amazing. So, what happened when you first approached it? _

_SCOTTY: Well, we began a standard survey of the surface, and we were just completing the initial orbital scan when our aft power coils suddenly exploded. The ship got caught in the sphere's gravity well and down we went. Franklin and I were the only ones to survive the crash. _

_LAFORGE: Can I ask you a question? What in the world made you think of using the transporter pattern buffer to survive? _

_SCOTTY: Well, we didn't have enough supplies to wait for a rescue, so we had to think of something. _

_LAFORGE: Yeah, but locking it into a diagnostic cycle so that the pattern wouldn't degrade, and then cross-connecting it phase inducers to provide a regenerative power source, that's absolutely brilliant. _

_SCOTTY: I think it was only fifty percent brilliant. Franklin deserved better. _

_LAFORGE: I think you're going to enjoy the twenty fourth century, Mister Scott. We've made some pretty incredible advances these last eighty years. _

"Hardly," said Q. "I've seen microchips evolve better in 80 years than humans did."

_SCOTTY: From what I've seen, you've got a fine ship, Mister La Forge. A real beauty here. I must admit to being a bit overwhelmed. _

_LAFORGE: Wait until you see the Hollowdeck._

_[Sickbay]_

_CRUSHER: You have a hairline fracture of the humorous. It will ache for a few days, but it should be fine. _

_SCOTTY: Thank you. Well, I'll say this about your Enterprise. The doctors are a fair sight prettier. _

"No comment from you 'ole Johnny?" said Q.

"Q, that is none of your business!" shouted Picard.

"Oh, but it is. I'm omnipotent! Everything is my business!"

_PICARD: I'm Jean-Luc Picard. Welcome aboard the Enterprise, Captain Scott. _

_SCOTTY: Thank you, sir, and call me Scotty. _

_PICARD: How are you feeling? _

_SCOTTY: I don't know. How am I feeling? _

_CRUSHER: Other than a couple of bumps and bruises, I'd say you feel fine for a man of a hundred and forty seven. _

_SCOTTY: I don't feel a day over a hundred and twenty. _

_PICARD: I must say, I was little surprised when Commander Riker told me that you were aboard the Jenolen. Our records didn't show you listed as a member of the crew. _

_SCOTTY: Well, I was never actually a member of the crew. I was just a passenger. I was heading for Norpin Five to settle down and enjoy my retirement. _

_PICARD: I see. Well, I would very much enjoy the opportunity to hear you talk about your career. I'm sure you would have some fascinating insights into the events of your time. _

_SCOTTY: I'd be happy to. _

_PICARD: Good. Well, I look forward to it. Excuse me. Commander, we need to begin a full spectrographic analysis of the Dyson Sphere. _

_LAFORGE: I'll get right on it, sir. _

_PICARD: Good. Once again, welcome on board, Captain. _

_SCOTTY: Sir. _

_LAFORGE: I need to get down to Engineering and begin that analysis. _

_SCOTTY: Engineering? I thought you'd never ask. _

"He's a kid in a candy shop," said Riker.

"No," said Picard. "He's a kid in a dilithium crystal shop." They all laughed.

"You're methods of population are so uninvolved," scoffed Q. "I've seen…"

"We don't care what you've seen," said Riker.

_CRUSHER: Captain, the first thing you need to get is some rest. Now this has been a shock to your system, and I want you to not push yourself. _

_LAFORGE: We're pretty busy down there, anyway, Captain Scott. I promise I'd be happy to give you a tour just as soon as the doctor says it's okay. _

_CRUSHER: I'll have someone show you your quarters. _

_SCOTTY: (disappointed) Aye._

_[Scotty's quarters]_

_KANE: This is the food replicator, and your computer terminal. _

_SCOTTY: Good Lord, man, where have you put me? _

_KANE: These are standard guest quarters, sir. I can try and find something bigger if you want. _

_SCOTTY: Bigger? In my day, even an Admiral wouldn't have had such quarters on a starship. You know, I remember a time we had to transport the Dohlman of Elaas. You never heard anyone whine and complain so much about quarters as she did. _

_KANE: The holodecks, Ten Forward, and the gymnasium are all at your disposal. The computer can tell you how to find them. Until we issue you a combadge, just use one of these panels if you need anything. _

_SCOTTY: You know, these quarters remind me of a hotel room on Argelius. Oh, now there is a planet. Everything a man wants right at his fingertips. Of course, on the first visit, I got into a wee bit of trouble. _

_KANE: Excuse me, sir but I have to return to duty. _

_SCOTTY: Oh. Well then. Thank you._

_[Engineering]_

_LAFORGE: I want you to shut down the warp engines and recalibrate the aft sensors while I work on the lateral array. _

_BARTEL: Aye, sir. _

_BARTEL [OC]: Can I help you, sir? _

_SCOTTY [OC]: Oh, I don't think so, lassie, but I'll let you know if you can. _

_BARTEL [OC]: Sir, this area is restricted to authorized personnel _

_LAFORGE: Bartel, it's okay. I'll handle it. Captain Scott, this really isn't- _

_SCOTTY: We're in Engineering. Call me Scotty. _

_LAFORGE: Scotty, this really isn't a good time for a tour. We're running a phase seven survey of the Dyson Sphere. _

_SCOTT: I'm not here for a tour, laddie. I'm here to help. _

_LAFORGE: That's very kind, but I'm sure we can handle it. _

_SCOTT: I was a Starfleet engineer for fifty two years, Mister La Forge. I think I'm still useful. _

_LAFORGE: You're right. We'd be grateful for any help you can give us. _

_SCOTT: Good. Let's get to work._

_[Bridge]_

_DATA: Sensor readings indicate the presence of a G-type star at the center of the sphere. There also appears to be a class-M atmosphere clinging to the interior surface. _

_PICARD: Is there any indication that the sphere is inhabited? _

_DATA: Not as yet, sir. Our preliminary data suggests it is still capable of supporting life. We have been unable to find definite signs of current habitation. _

_PICARD: Mister Data, send out a series of class-four probes to survey the far side of the sphere. Perhaps we'll have more luck with them. _

_DATA: Aye, sir._

_[Engineering]_

_LAFORGE: Adjust the frequency stabilization on the main deflector dish. It's out of synch with the aft sensors. _

_SCOTTY: Laddie, you need to phase-lock the warp fields within three percent or they'll become unstable. _

_LAFORGE: What? _

_SCOTTY: Well look here. The warp field is _

_(The computer rejects his commands) _

_LAFORGE: We use a multiphase auto-containment field now. It's meant to operate above three percent. _

_SCOTTY: Oh. Well, that would make the difference. _

_BARTEL: We can restart the engines in ten minutes, Commander. _

_LAFORGE: Thank you, Lieutenant. _

_SCOTTY: I remember a time when the old Enterprise was spiraling in toward Psi two thousand. _

_LAFORGE: Thank you. _

_SCOTTY: The Captain wanted to try a cold start of the warp engines. I told him that without a proper phase lock it would take at least thirty minutes You canna change the laws of physics, I told him, but he wouldn't believe me, so I had to come up with a new engine start-up routine. Do you know that your dilithium crystals are going to fracture? _

_LAFORGE: We recomposite the crystals while they're still inside the articulation frame. Look, Mister Scott, I'd love to explain everything to you, but the Captain wants this spectrographic analysis done by thirteen hundred hours. _

_SCOTTY: Do you mind a little advice? Starfleet captains are like children. They want everything right now and they want it their way, but the secret is to give them only what they need, not what they want. _

_LAFORGE: Yeah, well I told the Captain I'd have this analysis done in an hour. _

_SCOTTY: How long will it really take? _

_LAFORGE: An hour. _

_SCOTTY: You didn't tell him how long it would really take, did you? _

_LAFORGE: Of course I did. _

_SCOTTY: Oh, laddie, you've got a lot to learn if you want people to think of you as a miracle worker. Now listen _

_LAFORGE: Captain Scott. I've tried to be patient; I've tried to be polite. But I've got a job to do here, and quite frankly, you're in the way. _

_SCOTTY: I was driving starships while your great-grandfather was still in diapers. I'd think you'd be a little grateful for some help. I'll leave ye to work, Mister La Forge._

_[Ten Forward]_

_WAITER: May I help you, sir? _

_SCOTTY: Aye, lad. Scotch, neat. _

_WAITER: There you go, sir. _

_SCOTTY: Thank you. _

_(Takes a drink) _

_SCOTT: What in blazes is this? _

"Synthehol," said Riker.

_WAITER: Didn't you order Scotch? _

_SCOTTY: Laddie, I was drinking Scotch a hundred years before you were born and I can tell you that whatever this is, it is definitely not Scotch. _

_DATA: I believe I may be of some assistance. Captain Scott is unaware of the existence of synthehol. _

_SCOTTY: Synthehol? _

_DATA: Yes, sir. It is an alcohol substitute now being served aboard starships. It simulates the appearance, taste and smell of alcohol, but the intoxicating affects can be easily dismissed. _

_SCOTTY: You're not quite human, are you? _

_DATA: No, sir. I am an android. Lieutenant Commander Data. _

_SCOTTY: Synthetic Scotch, synthetic commanders. _

_DATA: I believe Guinan does keep a limited supply of non-syntheholic products. Perhaps one of them would be to your liking. _

_(Data goes behind the bar and comes out with a bottle) _

_SCOTTY: What is it? _

_DATA: It is (looks at bottle) It is (sniffs contents) It is green. _

"How very articulate," said Riker.

_(Scott drinks) _

_SCOTT: Ah!_

_[Corridor]_

_(Bottle and glass in hand, Scott walks carefully to the Hollowdeck) _

_COMPUTER: Please enter program. _

_SCOTT: The android at the bar said you could show me my old ship. Let me see it. _

_COMPUTER: Insufficient data. Please specify parameters. _

_SCOTT: The Enterprise. Show me the Bridge of the Enterprise, you chattering piece of _

_COMPUTER: There have been five Federation ships with that name. Please specify by registry number. _

_SCOTT: NCC One Seven Oh One. No bloody A, B, C, or D. _

_COMPUTER: Program complete. Enter when ready._

_[NCC1701 Bridge]_

_(Complete with sound effect, they did a great job of recreating it for us. The viewscreen has the ubiquitous orange planet on it. Scott goes to his old station and pours a drink.) _

"That's incredible!" said Picard.

"Now who's the kid in a candy shop?" asked Riker.

_SCOTTY: Here's to you, lads. _

_PICARD: I hope I'm not interrupting. I was just coming off duty and I wanted to see how you were doing. _

_SCOTTY: Not at all, not at all. Have a drink with me, Captain. _

_PICARD: Thank you. _

_SCOTTY: I don't know what it is, exactly, but I would be real careful. It's real _

"Strong? Not really," said Picard.

_(Picard knocks it back in one) _

_PICARD: Aldebaran whiskey. Who do you think gave it to Guinan? _

_SCOTTY: Ah. _

_PICARD: Constitution class. _

_SCOTTY: Aye. You're familiar with them? _

_PICARD: There's one in the Fleet museum, but then of course, this is your Enterprise? _

_SCOTTY: I actually served on two. This was the first. She was also the first ship I ever served on as Chief Engineer. You know, I served aboard eleven ships. Freighters, cruisers, starships, but this is the only one I think of. The only one I miss. _

_PICARD: The first ship I ever served aboard as Captain was called the Stargazer. It was an overworked, underpowered vessel, always on the verge of flying apart at the seams. In every measurable sense, my Enterprise is far superior. But there are times when I would give almost anything to command the Stargazer again. _

_SCOTTY: It's like the first time you fall in love. You don't ever love a woman quite like that again. Well, to the Enterprise and the Stargazer. Old girlfriends we'll never meet again. _

"Interesting metaphor," said Riker. "What would that make me?"

"His wingman," said Troi.

_PICARD: What do you think of the Enterprise D? _

_SCOTTY: She's a beauty, with a good crew. _

_PICARD: But? _

_SCOTTY: But. When I was here, I could tell you the speed that we were traveling by the feel of the deck plates. But on your ship, I feel like I'm just in the way. _

_PICARD: Seventy five years is a long time. If you would care to study some technical schematics or _

_SCOTTY: I'm not eighteen. I can't start out like a raw cadet. No, there comes a time when a man finds that he can't fall in love again. He knows that it's time to stop. I don't belong on your ship. I belong on this one. This was my home. This is where I had a purpose. But it's not real. It's just a computer generated fantasy. And I'm just an old man who's trying to hide in it. Computer, shut this bloody thing off. It's time I acted my age._

_[Ready room]_

_PICARD: Come. _

_(Geordi enters) _

_PICARD: Mister La Forge, I understand that before the Jenolen crashed, it had conducted an extensive survey of the Dyson sphere. Have we been able to access any of those records? _

_LAFORGE: We did try to download their memory core, but it was pretty heavily damaged in the crash. We actually haven't been able to get much out of it. _

_PICARD: Perhaps Captain Scott could be of use in accessing that material. _

_LAFORGE: It's possible. He does know those systems better than any of us. I'll have Lieutenant Bartel beam down with him. _

_PICARD: Mister La Forge, I would like you to accompany Captain Scott. _

_LAFORGE: Me, sir? _

_PICARD: Yes. Look, this is not an order, it's a request and it's one which you must feel perfectly free to decline. You see, one of the most important things in a person's life is to feel useful. Now, Mister Scott is a Starfleet officer and I would like him to feel useful again. _

_LAFORGE: I'll go with him, sir. _

_PICARD: Thank you._

_[Bridge]_

_DATA: Commander, I believe I have found something on the sphere which could be a communications device. There's an antenna array approximately four hundred thousand kilometers south of our present position. It is emitting low intensity subspace signals. _

_RIKER: Can you open a channel? _

_DATA: No, sir, not from our present orbit. The array is currently directed away from us. _

_RIKER: Ensign, prepare to put us in orbit above those coordinates. Captain Picard to the Bridge, please._

_[Transporter room]_

_LAFORGE: Are you feeling all right? _

_SCOTTY: Never get drunk unless you're willing to pay for it the next day. I'll manage. _

_LAFORGE: Okay. Energize._

_[Bridge]_

_DATA: Sensors indicate that the large circle is a portal or airlock, possibly leading to the interior of the sphere. _

_RIKER: This looks like the front door. Should we ring the bell? _

_PICARD: Mister Worf, open a channel to that communications array. _

_WORF: Aye, sir. _

_(There's a jolt, and Red alert goes off) _

_DATA: Some type of tractor beam has locked onto us. _

_RIKER: Helm, get us out of here! _

_RAGER: We've lost main power. Auxiliary power down to twenty percent. _

_(The viewscreen shows four beams pulling the Enterprise towards the opening space doors) _

_WORF: We're being pulled inside. _

_RAGER: Auxiliary power failing. _

_DATA: The resonance frequency of the tractor beams is incompatible with our power systems. Warp and impulse engine relays have been overloaded. I am attempting to compensate. _

_(Enterprise is slung into inner space) _

_RAGER: The tractor beams have released us, sir. _

_RIKER: Hold position here until we can get our bearings. _

_PICARD: Full sensor sweep, Mister Data. Where are we? _

_DATA: Approximately ninety million kilometers from the star's photosphere. I am reading a great deal of surface instability. It may be _

_RAGER: Sir! The inertial motion from the tractor beams is still carrying us forward. Impulse engines are offline and I can't stop our momentum. We're falling directly into the star._

_[Jenolen]_

_SCOTTY: The primary computer database should be online now. Give it a try. _

_LAFORGE: Okay. I've got three access lines to the central core. Still nothing. _

_SCOTTY: Bunch of old, useless, garbage. _

_LAFORGE: Huh? _

_SCOTTY: I say it's old, Mister La Forge. It can't handle the interface of your power converter. This equipment was designed for a different era. Now it's just a piece of junk. _

_LAFORGE: I don't know. It seems like some of it's held together pretty well. _

_SCOTTY: A century out of date. It's just obsolete. _

_LAFORGE: Well you know, that's interesting because I was just thinking that a lot of these systems haven't changed much in the last seventy five years. This transporter is basically the same system we use on the Enterprise. Subspace radio and sensors still operate under the same basic principle. Impulse engine design hasn't changed much in the last two hundred years. If it wasn't for all the structural damage, this ship might still be in service today. _

_SCOTTY: Maybe so, but when they can build ships like your Enterprise, who'd want to pilot an old bucket like this? _

_LAFORGE: I don't know. If this ship were operational I bet she'd run circles around the Enterprise at impulse speeds. Just because something's old doesn't mean you throw it away. _

"That was brilliant wording," said Picard.

_SCOTTY: We used to have something called a dynamic mode converter. You wouldn't have something like that on your Enterprise would you? _

_LAFORGE: I haven't seen anything like that in a long time, but I bet I might be able to come up with something similar. La Forge to Enterprise. La Forge to Enterprise, come in, please. _

_SCOTTY: Interference? _

_LAFORGE: No, they're gone._

_[Bridge]_

_DATA: We will enter the sun's photosphere in three minutes. _

_PICARD: Maneuvering thrusters? _

_RIKER: I've got thirty percent power. It won't be enough to stop us. _

_PICARD: No, but it may be enough to turn us into orbit, hold our distance from the photosphere. Ensign, port thrusters ahead full, starboard thrusters back full. _

_DATA: Our flight path is changing. Right ten point seven degrees, sir. Insufficient to clear the photosphere. _

_RIKER: Lieutenant Bartel, divert all power from auxiliary relay systems to the maneuvering thrusters. _

_BARTEL [OC]: Aye, sir. _

_RAGER: We're in orbit, Captain. Our altitude is one hundred fifty thousand kilometers. _

_RIKER: I'll see about getting main power back online. _

_PICARD: Very well. Mister Data, begin a scan of the interior surface for life forms. I want to know who brought us in here and why. _

_DATA: Aye, sir._

_[Jenolen]_

_LAFORGE: I can't find them anywhere in orbit. _

_SCOTTY: They could've crashed into the sphere like the Jenolen. _

_LAFORGE: No, we'd be picking up background radiation if they'd gone down. _

_SCOTTY: There's another possibility. They could be inside the sphere. _

_LAFORGE: Maybe. Whatever happened, we've got to find them. If we can get these engines back online, we could track them with their impulse ion trail. _

_SCOTTY: Are ye daft? The main drive assembly's shot, the inducers are melted, and the power couplings are wrecked. We'd need a week just to get started. But we don't have a week, so there's no sense in crying about it. Come on, We'll see what we can do with your power converter._

_[Bridge]_

_DATA: The sphere appears to be abandoned. Sensors show that the star is extremely unstable. It is experiencing severe bursts of radiation and matter expulsions. _

_PICARD: Then that would explain why they abandoned it. But if there's no one still living there, how were we brought inside? _

_DATA: I believe we triggered a series of automatic piloting beams designed to guide ships into the sphere. _

_WORF: Sir, Sensors show a large magnetic disturbance on the star's surface. _

_DATA: It is a solar flare, Captain. Magnitude twelve, class B. _

_PICARD: Shields? _

_WORF: Shields are up, but only at twenty three percent. _

"Why don't shields ever hold?" asked Picard.

"I was about to ask the same thing," said Riker.

_DATA: The star has entered a period of increased activity. Sensors indicate that the solar flares will continue to grow. In three hours, our shields will no longer be sufficient to protect us, sir._

_[Jenolen]_

_SCOTTY: Shunt the deuterium from the main cryo-pump to the auxiliary tank. _

_LAFORGE: The tank can't withstand that kind of pressure. _

_SCOTTY: Where'd you get that idea? _

_LAFORGE: What do you mean, where did I get that idea? It's in the impulse engine specifications. _

_SCOTTY: Regulation forty two slash fifteen, pressure variances on IRC tank storage? _

_LAFORGE: Yeah. _

_SCOTTY: Forget it. I wrote it. A good engineer is always a wee bit conservative, at least on paper. Just bypass the secondary cut-off valve and boost the flow. It'll work. _

_LAFORGE: Okay. _

_SCOTTY: If we've done our jobs properly, the engines should be coming back online about now. _

_LAFORGE: Hey, you were right. The auxiliary tank is holding. _

_SCOTTY: Take the Bridge, Commander. _

_LAFORGE: Oh, no, you're the senior officer here. _

_SCOTTY: I may be captain by rank, but I never wanted to be anything else but an engineer. _

_LAFORGE: All right._

_[Bridge]_

_(The Enterprise glows orange in close orbit of the star) _

_WORF: Shields still holding, sir, but they are down another fifteen percent. _

_PICARD: Mister Worf, can we use the phasers to open a hole in the sphere? _

_WORF: No, sir. The exterior shell is composed of carbon neutronium. Our weapons would be ineffective. _

_PICARD: Mister Data, we have to find some way out of here. Begin scanning for another hatch or portal that might still be open. _

_DATA: The interior surface area is over ten to the sixteenth square kilometers. It will take seven hours to completely scan the surface. _

_(Big shudder) _

_DATA: I will endeavor to speed up the process, sir._

_[Jenolen]_

_(Outside the main sphere hatch and looking at short range scan 0407.7) _

_SCOTTY: The Enterprise ion trail leads right to this point. _

_LAFORGE: It looks like some kind of doorway. _

_SCOTTY: I'll bet you two bottles of Scotch that they're inside the sphere and that they went in right through that hatch. _

_LAFORGE: No bet here. The question is how? _

_SCOTTY: Look at the momentum distribution of the ions. It would take an impulse engine at full reverse to put out a signature like that. _

_LAFORGE: So they didn't go in willingly. This looks like some kind of communications array. _

_SCOTTY: Aye. We found hundreds of them when we did our initial survey seventy five years ago. _

_LAFORGE: Did you try hailing them? _

_SCOTTY: Aye. That was standard procedure at the time. We did it right before we crashed. _

_LAFORGE: Hailing is standard procedure today, too. Scotty, what if those aren't communications arrays? What if they're access terminals which are triggered by subspace signals on certain frequencies. _

_SCOTTY: Frequencies like our standard ship's hail. _

_LAFORGE: Exactly. The Enterprise, when they saw that terminal, they probably did the same thing you did seventy five years ago. Opened a channel. Only this time they triggered something that activated that hatch and pulled the ship inside the sphere. _

_SCOTTY: Very nice piece of reasoning, laddie. Nice indeed. _

_LAFORGE: Yeah. We could probably trigger the hatch ourselves, only we'd get pulled in like they were. _

_SCOTTY: Maybe all we need to do is to get our foot in the door. We might not be pulled inside when the hatch opens if we keep our distance from the sphere. Say, half million kilometers. Then when the hatch starts to close, we move in and we use the Jenolen to jam the hatch open, hoping that the Enterprise will escape. _

_LAFORGE: You can't be serious. That hatch is huge. It'll crush this ship like an egg. _

_SCOTTY: Geordi, the shields will hold. Don't worry about that. I can get a few extra gigawatts out of these babies. _

_LAFORGE: Scotty, it's crazy. _

_SCOTTY: Geordi. I have spent my whole life trying to figure out crazy ways of doing things. I'm telling you, as one engineer to another, I can do this. _

_LAFORGE: All right. Let's do it. (later) _

_LAFORGE: We're at five hundred thousand kilometers. _

_SCOTTY: Engines are ready. _

_LAFORGE: Okay. Here we go. _

_(The four beams shoot out and start searching for something to lock on to as the space doors open) _

_LAFORGE: Come on. There's nothing out here. Give it up. _

_(The beams cut out and the doors start to close again) _

_LAFORGE: That's it. Let's go! Full impulse. _

_(The Jenolen parks in the doorway, shields glistening as the space doors press against them)_

_[Bridge]_

_WORF: Sir, there is an audio message from Commander La Forge. _

_LAFORGE [OC]: La Forge to Enterprise, do you read me? _

_PICARD: Go ahead, Commander. We read you._

_[Jenolen]_

_LAFORGE: We're using the Jenolen to hold open the hatch that you came through, but our shields aren't going to hold out much longer._

_[Bridge]_

_PICARD: Understood. Ensign, set a course._

_[Jenolen]_

_SCOTTY: The plasma intercooler's gone. The engines are overheating. _

_LAFORGE: I've lost helm control. La Forge to Enterprise. Captain, we're not going to be able to move this ship out of the way when you get here._

_[Bridge]_

_LAFORGE [OC]: You're going to have to destroy it in order to escape. _

_PICARD: How much longer before we reach them? _

_DATA: With impulse engines operating at sixty percent power, it will take one minute and forty seconds. _

_PICARD: Bridge to Transporter room three. Prepare to beam two from the Jenolen as soon as we're within range._

_[Jenolen]_

_SCOTTY: Its coming apart, Lad. I can't do anything else._

_[Bridge]_

_WORF: Photon torpedoes armed and ready, sir. _

_DATA: We are within transporter range. _

_PICARD: Bridge to Transporter room. Energize. _

_CHIEF [OC]: Aye, sir. _

_PICARD: Fire torpedoes. _

_(KaBOOM! And the spacedoors start to close. Enterprise gracefully swoops through the remaining gap and the doors clang shut behind them)_

_[Transporter room]_

_SCOTTY: There now, that wasn't so bad, was it?_

_Captain's log, Stardate: 46125.3. Starfleet has dispatched two science vessels to study the Dyson Sphere while we proceed to Starbase fifty five._

_[Corridor]_

_LAFORGE: So, this alien space baby, which was about the size of a four story building, really thought the Enterprise was its mother. _

_SCOTTY: You're pulling an old man's leg. _

_LAFORGE: No, really. It was suckling power directly from the ship's fusion reactors, so Doctor Brahms and I changed the power frequency from twenty one centimeters to point oh two centimeters. _

_SCOTTY: You soured the milk. _

_LAFORGE: That's right. _

_SCOTTY: Enjoy these times, Geordi. You're the chief engineer of a starship, and it's a time of your life that'll never come again. When it's gone, it's gone. Now, lad, I thought you were going to buy me a drink in Ten Forward. _

_LAFORGE: Actually, I had a better idea._

_[Shuttlebay]_

_(The senior staff are gathered by a shuttlecraft) _

_SCOTTY: You're giving me one of your shuttles? _

_PICARD: Well, call it an extended loan. Since you lost your ship saving ours, it seemed only fair. _

_RIKER: She's not much to look at. _

"I disagree. I always thought that the shuttles looked cool," said Picard.

_SCOTTY: Laddie, every woman has her own charm. You just have to know where to look for it. _

_LAFORGE: She's a little slow, but she'll certainly get you to the Norpin colony. If that's really where you want to go. _

_SCOTTY: The Norpin Colony is for old men to retire. Maybe someday I'll end up there, but not yet. _

_PICARD: Well, bon voyage, Mister Scott. _

_SCOTTY: Thank you, sir, for everything. _

_(Each says their personal farewell and leaves) _

_DATA: Mister Scott. _

_TROI: Goodbye. _

_SCOTTY: Bye, bye. (a kiss on the cheek) _

_RIKER: Scotty. _

_SCOTTY: Thank you. _

_CRUSHER: (with a hug) Bye. Be well. _

_(Just a wary look at Worf, then Scotty and Geordi go to the shuttle's rear door)_

"Still prejudice towards Klingons eh?" said Riker.

_SCOTTY: A good crew. _

_LAFORGE: Yeah, they are. _

_SCOTTY: A fine ship. A credit to her name. But I've always found that a ship is only as good as the engineer who takes care of her, and from what I can see the Enterprise is in good hands. _

_LAFORGE: You take care of yourself out there. _

_SCOTTY: Aye._

"What an interesting episode," said Picard.

"Oh Please. You want to see an interesting episode. I'll show you one," said Q.

**A/N: Hi guys! So I hope you liked this chapter! Let me know in a review what your favorite episode is, and I might write a chapter for it! Thanks for reading a reviewing!**


	8. Tapestry

TNG Watches TNG

**A/N: Hi guys! So I'm back with another chapter! Enjoy!**

Tapestry

_[Sickbay]_

_CRUSHER: Bring the stasis units in here, and have them online. _

_MEDIC: Yes, Doctor. _

_CRUSHER: Tell Doctor Selar she can use ward three for the ambulatory cases, and I'll stay here. _

_CREWMAN [OC]: Transporter room four to Sickbay. They're coming in now. _

_CRUSHER: Acknowledged. Stand clear and be ready. _

_(Worf is carrying Picard, Riker and a security man have their phasers out, and a security woman is supporting an injured colleague) _

_MEDIC: Let's go, let's go. Get him on here. _

_CRUSHER: What happened? _

_RIKER: The Lenarians attacked us outside of the conference room. _

_(Picard has a big hole in his chest) _

_CRUSHER: He's in cardiac arrest. Connect the pulmonary support units. He's got internal haemorrhaging. The bioregulator of his artificial heart's been fused. He's got liver and spleen damage. What kind of weapon caused this? _

_WORF: A compressed teryon beam. _

_CRUSHER: Forty cc's inaprovaline. The activity in the isocortex is falling. Cortical stimulators. Now. (Picard jerks) Again. His respiratory system is shutting down. The levels in the isocortex are still falling. Damn. Prepare a four percent series_

_[Limbo]_

_(A bright white void. There is a figure also in shimmering white nearby). Picard touches it's hand and then sees who it is.) _

_Q: Welcome to the afterlife, Jean-Luc. You're dead. _

"The hell I'm not!" protested Picard.

_PICARD: Q, what is going on? _

_Q: I told you. You're dead. This is the afterlife, and I'm God. _

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Have I _ever_ done that?" asked Q sarcastically.

_PICARD: You are not God. _

_Q: Blasphemy! You're lucky I don't cast you out, or smite you or something. The bottom line is, your life ended about five minutes ago, under the inept ministrations of Doctor Beverly Crusher. _

_PICARD: No. I am not dead. Because I refuse to believe that the afterlife is run by you. The universe is not so badly designed. _

"Johnny! How dare you insult me!" whined Q.

_Q: Very well. If you really require more evidence of your post-mortem status, I guess I'll just have to provide you some. _

_MAURICE: Jean-Luc, I told you not to go running off to that Academy. _

_PICARD: Father. _

_MAURICE: I told you that Starfleet would bring you to a bad end, but you wouldn't listen. Now look at you. Dead before your time. _

_PICARD: Q, enough of this. _

_Q: Enough what? _

_MAURICE: Why couldn't you have listened? Didn't you know that I was working for your best interests? _

_PICARD: Q, stop this. _

_MAURICE: After all these years, even now, you manage to disappoint me, Jean-Luc. _

_Q: He's not the only one who'd like to have a word with you. _

_WOMAN [OC]: Why, Jean-Luc? Why did you do it? _

_CREWWOMAN [OC]: Captain, there are still people down there. You can't abandon them. _

_CREWMAN [OC]: There must be some other way, Captain. Some other choice than firing on them. _

_MAN [OC]: If you continue on this course. A direct hit, sir. The ship is destroyed. _

_Q: These are the voices of all the people you've killed throughout the years. _

_PICARD: Whom I've killed? What do you mean? _

_Q: Death has made you a little dim, Jean-Luc. These are the voices of all the people who have died through your actions or your inactions. Now, if you have any words of apology or regret, I believe they're all listening. They're a surly bunch, actually, so don't drag this out too long. _

_PICARD: I've no intention of performing for your amusement. _

"Oh, but it'll be fun!" said Q.

_Q: This is not for me. This is for you, Jean-Luc. This is your opportunity to make peace with your sordid past. _

_PICARD: I find it hard to believe that you are doing this for the benefit of my soul. _

_Q: Well, now that you've shuffled off the mortal coil, we're free to spend a little time together. _

_PICARD: A little time together? How much? _

_Q: Eternity._

"Damnit!" said Picard.

_Q: Now, you're sure you have no regrets or feelings of guilt about your former life? I can't have you whining and complaining through time. _

_PICARD: If I'm really dead, then my only regret is dying and finding you here. _

_Q: You wound me, Jean-Luc. After all, I was not the cause of your death. This was. _

_(He holds up the contraption Kate Pulaski put in him all those seasons ago) _

_PICARD: Is that? _

_Q: Your artificial heart. You might have lived if you had a real one instead of this unreliable piece of technology. By the way, how did you lose yours anyway? _

"I thought you were omnipotent!" said Picard.

_PICARD: A mistake. _

_Q: Is that a regret I hear? _

_PICARD: I regret a great many things from those days. _

_Q: Really? _

_(A Nausicaan and a young man in old-style uniform are fighting. Then a second Nausicaan joins in, and a third stabs the man through the back. The blade sticks out of his chest. The young man falls to his knees, looks at the knife point and laughs, then falls to the floor.) _

_Q: It wasn't very smart of you to take on three Nausicaans, was it? _

_PICARD: No, it wasn't. _

_Q: And did I hear a laugh? It's so unlike you, Jean-Luc, to have a sense of humor, especially about getting stabbed through the back. _

_PICARD: I was a different person in those days. Arrogant, undisciplined, with far too much ego and too little wisdom. I was more like you. _

_Q: Then you must have been far more interesting. Pity you had to change. _

"You know, I'm _very_ smart in these episodes," said Q.

_PICARD: The pity is that I had to be impaled through the back before I learned that lesson. I started that fight with those Nausicaans. I started it because, because I was young and cocky. If I'd been more responsible in those days, I wouldn't have needed this heart, and I wouldn't have died from a random energy surge thirty years later. _

_Q: So, if you had it to do all over again? _

_PICARD: Things would be different._

_[Starbase - Picard's quarters]_

_(Picard, in old style uniform, gets slapped across the face by a woman who then storms out of the room) _

_MARTA: Bravo! Bravo! _

_COREY: Nicely done. _

_PICARD: Cortan? Cortan Zweller? _

_COREY: (a red-haired young man) Yes. Boy, she must've hit you pretty hard. Of course, you deserved it. _

_MARTA: (a dark-haired young woman) You're slowing down there, Johnny. You should've seen that one coming. _

_PICARD: Marta Batanides. _

_MARTA: Are you okay? _

_PICARD: Yes, I'm fine. I'm just a little disoriented, that's all. _

_COREY: Come on, he's just playing for sympathy now. Look, I'm going to get something to eat and head over to the casino at Bonestell. You coming? _

_PICARD: I'll catch up with you there. _

_MARTA: You sure you're okay? _

_PICARD: Yes, I'm fine. Really, Marta, I'm fine. _

_COREY: Come on, Marty. I bet he's got another date. _

_MARTA: That's it, isn't it? You are incorrigible. _

"Such lovely friends you've got," said Q.

_(Corey and Marta leave, and Q appears in modern uniform) _

_COREY: Try not to end up in the hospital. _

_Q: Attention on deck, Ensign Picard. _

_PICARD: Q. _

_Q: That's Captain Q to you, young man. _

_PICARD: What's the point of creating this fantasy? _

_Q: This is no fantasy, I assure you. It's all very real. You're twenty one years old again. A brash young man, fresh out of the Academy. _

_PICARD: I certainly don't look it. _

_Q: Well, to everyone else you do. _

_PICARD: So, Q, I thought you told me that I was dead. Now it seems that I'm alive. _

_Q: Oh, you mortals are so obtuse. Why do you persist in believing that life and death are such static and rigid concepts. Why, I can take your life and give it back to you again with the snap of a finger. _

_PICARD: Let's say for the moment that may be true. What is the purpose of bringing me here? _

_Q: You said you regretted a great many things in your life. Well, here's a chance to change some of them. _

_PICARD: Change them? You mean change the past? Q, even if you have been able to bring me back in time somehow, surely you must realize that any alteration in this timeline will have a profound impact on the future. _

_Q: Please. Spare me your egotistical musings on your pivotal role in history. Nothing you do here will cause the Federation to collapse or galaxies to explode. To be blunt, you're not that important. _

_PICARD: I won't do it. I won't alter history. _

_Q: Oh, very well. Since you attach so much importance to the continuity of time, I will give you my personal guarantee that nothing you do here will end up hurting anyone, or have an adverse effect on what you know of as history. The only thing at stake here is your life and your peace of mind. Now, whether you believe me or not, you are here, and you have a second chance. What you choose to do with it is entirely up to you. Do you know where you are? _

_PICARD: Starbase Earhart. We came here right after graduation to await our first deep space assignments. _

_Q: That's right. It's two days before your unfortunate encounter with a Nausicaan sword. You have that long to make whatever changes you wish. If you can avoid getting stabbed through the heart this time, which I doubt, I will take you back to what you think of as the present. And you can go on with your life with a real heart. _

_PICARD: Then I won't die? _

_Q: Of course you'll die. It'll just be at a later time. _

_PICARD: What if I don't avoid the fight? What if I won't make the changes? _

_Q: Then you die on the table, and we spend eternity together. _

_PICARD: Wonderful. _

_Q: I'm glad you think so. I am curious about one thing, Johnny. Why did that rather attractive woman strike you just now? Something you said? _

_PICARD: Her name was Corlina. I'd arranged to take her out today, and then she discovered that I had already made a second date with another woman called, er, Penny, and Corlina was naturally upset. _

_Q: I'd no idea you were such a cad. I'm impressed. _

"I should have done this a long time ago," said Q.

_PICARD: Computer, what is the time right now? _

_COMPUTER: Sixteen eleven hours. _

_PICARD: In fact, Penny is waiting for me right now. _

_Q: Well, carry on._

_[Bonestell Facility bar]_

_PENNY: You're awfully quiet today. What happened to the dashing young Ensign from last night? The one with the winning smile and the smooth talk about my eyes? _

_PICARD: I'm just a little more contemplative. _

_PENNY: And what are you contemplating? _

_PICARD: Penny, er, do you think we could just talk for a while. I don't know anything about you. Where you're from, what your interests are, your last name. _

_PENNY: I come from Rigel, my last name is Muroc and I like men in uniform. I think that's enough talking. _

_(The older woman moves in for a kiss) _

_PENNY: What's wrong? I don't look as attractive to you as I did last night? _

_PICARD: No, no, not at all. I think you're a very handsome woman. _

_PENNY: Handsome. That's something you say to old ladies. _

_PICARD: You're certainly not an old lady. _

_(She throws her drink in his face) _

"Smooth move," said Q.

_PENNY: I didn't want your pity. _

_(Penny leaves in high dudgeon. The bartender has a new face.) _

_Q: Penny for your thoughts? You never told me you were such a lady's man. _

_PICARD: I wasn't. I was a puerile adolescent who allowed himself to be led by his hormones instead of his head. _

_Q: Looks like your friends know how to have fun. You ought to take lessons. _

_(The gang are playing a variation of pool where the ball bounces off coloured lights on the table) _

_Q: Excuse me._

_[Bonestell Facility casino]_

_MARTA: He's winning. _

_PICARD: Of course. _

_MARTA: I thought you had a date. _

_PICARD: She decided to leave. _

_MARTA: You're getting old, Johnny. _

_(Corey bounces his ball off a light and down a hole in the middle of the table) _

_COREY: Thank you. Thank you all. Thank you. _

_MARTA: Very, very nice. I think you should forget about Starfleet and play dom-jot for a living. _

_COREY: Nah, this is nothing. A little trigonometry, some minor wrist action. Now barokie, there's a game. _

_NAUSICAAN 1: Human! Play dom-jot, human. _

_COREY: I think I could be persuaded to play one more game. _

_PICARD: Corey, don't play him. _

_COREY: Why? _

_PICARD: It'll cause trouble. He's a Nausicaan. They can get very ill-tempered if they lose. _

_COREY: So can I. _

_PICARD: No, Corey, listen to me. This is a big mistake. Don't play him. _

_COREY: What's gotten into you? Let's go. _

_Q: I see you've found your Nausicaan friend. You seem unimpaled so far. _

_PICARD: I'm sorry to disappoint you. _

_Q: Ensign Zweller seems to be doing well. _

_PICARD: He's going to lose. The Nausicaan is cheating. _

_Q: Really? I'm beginning to like these Nausicaans. _

_PICARD: If history repeats itself, Corey will figure it out later tonight, and then he'll want revenge. _

_Q: And will you help your best friend avenge this injustice? _

_PICARD: I did last time. I rigged the table so that he would win in a rematch. _

_Q: Picard, you cheated? Picard, I'm impressed. _

_PICARD: It was a stupid mistake. The Nausicaan didn't take kindly to losing. Nor his friends. They were outraged. They wanted a fight. I gave them one. _

_Q: That's a beautiful story. It gets you right here, doesn't it? _

_NAUSICAAN 1: Ten. _

_(The Nausicaan puts a bet down and makes his play, then laughs and pots the winner) Dom-jot. Human play dom-jot._

_[Starbase - Picard's quarters]_

_COREY: I've played a lot of dom-jot in a lot of places. I've never seen the balls roll that well for anyone. _

_MARTA: So he was cheating? _

_COREY: I'll bet you that he had some sort of magnetic device in his belt. It was controlling the balls. _

_MARTA: That's terrible. _

_COREY: We've got to get even. _

_MARTA: What did you have in mind? _

_COREY: Well, we could do to him what he did to us. Cheat. Only this time we'll rig the table so his device'll backfire on him. _

_PICARD: Corey, that won't solve anything. _

_COREY: It'll teach him that he can't go round cheating Starfleet officers. _

_PICARD: All it'll do is provoke him. And provoking a Nausicaan is not a good idea. _

_COREY: I can handle him. _

_PICARD: What if he's not alone? What if he brings some of his Nausicaan friends with him? _

_COREY: Well then I guess that when I'll have to depend on my friends to help me out. _

_PICARD: Corey, there's got to be a better way to handle this. _

_COREY: When did you start backing away from a good fight? _

_PICARD: Look Corey, we're not cadets anymore. We're officers. We should start to set a higher standard for ourselves. _

_MARTA: It was a good idea, but let's just forget it, okay? _

_(Corey leaves) _

_MARTA: He'll get over it. _

_PICARD: I hope so. What? _

_MARTA: Nothing. It's just you'd usually be the one plotting revenge. _

_PICARD: Yes, that would be more in character, wouldn't it? _

_MARTA: Much. But I always suspected you had a hidden streak of responsibility somewhere. _

_PICARD: Perhaps it's just that I'm getting older. _

_MARTA: Maybe these bars are just starting to feel a little heavy, Ensign. Ensign Picard and Ensign Batanides. It sounds weird, doesn't it? _

_PICARD: It's going to take some getting used to. _

_MARTA: It's too bad we can't get used to it together. The three of us, I mean. _

_PICARD: Oh, of course. _

_(doorbell) _

_PICARD: Come. _

_Q: Flowers! Is there a John Luck Pickard here? _

Riker burst out laughing.

"Impeccable timing Q," he said, wiping a tear from his face from laughter.

_MARTA: From one of your conquests, no doubt. I guess some things aren't going to change. _

_(Marta leaves) _

_Q: Did I interrupt anything sordid, I hope? _

_PICARD: No, Q, you did not. _

_Q: Pity. She's quite attractive. _

_PICARD: We were friends, nothing more. _

_Q: Is that another regret I hear? My, my. We're simply riddled with regrets about our youth, now aren't we? _

_PICARD: My friendship with Marta is not something I regret. _

_Q: But you wish it had been more than just friendship, don't you? Well, maybe you can change all that. _

_PICARD: Q, what is it you want? _

_Q: I thought you'd like to know that Mister Zweller has decided not to take your advice. He's in the Bonestell Facility right now, rigging the table to beat the Nausicaan. I guess you weren't that persuasive._

_[Bonestell Facility casino]_

_(Corey is under the don-jot table with a screwdriver) _

_PICARD: Corey. _

_COREY: Ow! Johnny, don't sneak up on me like that. I thought you were the gambling foreman. _

_PICARD: Sorry. _

_COREY: I'm glad you're here. Hand me that magnaspanner. _

_PICARD: Corey, I'm not here to help you. I'm here to stop you from making a serious mistake. _

_COREY: You sound like my mother. _

_PICARD: Cheating the Nausicaans could have serious consequences for all of us. It's a risk we can't afford to take. _

_COREY: You are my mother. Well gee, Mom, I guess I'll have to go tell those Nausicaans I don't mind if they cheat me. _

_PICARD: This is not a joke, Corey. _

_COREY: It better be. Now, I'm going to finish my work here. If you want to help me, fine. If not, I'll see you back at the Starbase. _

_PICARD: I said you're not doing this. _

_COREY: Are you going to hit me, Johnny? _

_PICARD: No. But I'll tell the gambling foreman someone's been tampering with his dom-jot table. _

_COREY: All right. Have it your way, Ensign Picard._

_[Starbase - Marta's quarters]_

_PICARD: I just couldn't make him understand. _

_MARTA: At least he did finally give it up. _

_PICARD: Yes, but he didn't take it very well. _

_MARTA: Oh, you know Corey. He'll forget all about it by tomorrow. _

_PICARD: I hope you're right, because he and I were friends for years after this. I mean, I hope we will be. You know, you keep smiling at me. _

"Nice save there," said Riker.

"Thank you," said Picard. "I try."

_MARTA: Well, I've just never seen you like this before. You're so serious. _

_PICARD: Do I really seem that different? _

_MARTA: Maybe I'm just not used to seeing you in your officer's uniform. No, it's more than that. You do seem different. Well, I'm not complaining or anything. I think it suits you. _

_PICARD: Really? _

_MARTA: Yes. It's very attractive. Johnny. Haven't you ever thought about us getting together? _

_PICARD: Yes, I have, actually. I've thought about it for a long time. _

_MARTA: Why didn't you ever say so? _

_PICARD: I don't know. And at this moment, I really have no idea why not. _

_MARTA: You've said so now. _

_(And they kiss) _

"Damn Captain," said Riker. "Get it on!"

_(Next morning, uniforms are scattered on the floor, and a hand tickles Picard's ear)_

Riker wolf-whistled.

_Q: Morning, darling. Feeling a little jumpy this morning? Are we guilty, perhaps? _

"You ass!" shouted Picard.

"Oh Johnny! You know you can't hide your true feelings," said Q, mocking Picard. He continued with a girly voice. "Have you ever thought about us getting together?"

"Oh go to hell!" shouted Picard.

_PICARD: I don't feel guilty about anything, Q. _

_Q: No? We're just friends, Q, nothing more. _

_PICARD: And we're still friends. _

_Q: So what's next? _

_PICARD: I don't know. What I do know is, things will be different. _

_Q: I'm sure._

_[Bonestell Facility bar]_

_PICARD: Good morning. _

_MARTA: Johnny. _

_PICARD: What's wrong? _

_MARTA: Well, this is the morning after, huh? _

_PICARD: Look, I don't regret anything that happened last night. I hope you don't either. _

_MARTA: I don't know. We've been friends for a long time and, and now I'm afraid we've ruined that friendship. _

_PICARD: Then perhaps we should forget about what happened and try to _

_MARTA: I wish I could. It would make it much easier to say goodbye tomorrow. We're all supposed to get together later for our last big night before we ship out. _

_PICARD: I don't want you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. _

_MARTA: We've planned it. I'll be there. _

_(Marta leaves, her breakfast on the table) _

_Q: Well, let's see. You've managed to get slapped by one woman, a drink thrown in your face by another, and alienate your two best friends. Doing very well so far. The only thing left to avoid is getting stabbed through the heart._

_[Bonestell Facility casino]_

_PICARD: I think you'll like serving on board the Ajax. I hear that Captain Narth is an excellent officer. _

_COREY: So I hear. _

_PICARD: Well, here's to the class of 'twenty seven. _

_(three Nausicaans enter) _

_NAUSICAAN: Play dom-jot, human. Give you a better chance. Give you a bigger stick maybe. _

_PICARD: I don't think we're interested. _

_NAUSICAAN 1: They are undari. Cowards. _

_COREY: What did you say? _

_NAUSICAAN: Coward. Like all Starfleet you talk and you talk, but you have no guramba. _

_COREY: Why don't we find out. _

_PICARD: Don't be a fool, Corey. Look, there are plenty of other people to play dom-jot with. Now just go about your business. _

_NAUSICAAN: Maybe I play with her. Give her good time. _

_(Corey is about to hit the Nausicaan when Picard pushes him over) _

_NAUSICAAN: Orcho lok resnik. Starfleet. _

_PICARD: I'm sorry, Corey. He was reaching for a weapon. _

_COREY: I don't know who you are any more, but you're not my friend. _

_MARTA: Goodbye, Johnny. _

_(Corey and Marta leave) _

_Q: Congratulations, mon capitaine. You did it. _

_WORF [OC]: Can I help you?_

_[Bridge]_

_(Picard is a science lieutenant) _

"What the hell!" shouted Picard.

"You don't look very good in blue," said Troi.

_WORF: Can I help you, Mister Picard? _

_PICARD: Mister Worf. _

_(Worf takes a PADD from Picard) _

_WORF: This is not for me. You should take it to Commander La Forge in Engineering. _

_PICARD: What's happened? _

_WORF: Is something wrong? _

_PICARD: I'm not sure. Mister Worf, what is my rank and position? _

_WORF: You are a Lieutenant junior grade, Assistant Astrophysics officer. _

_DATA: Are you feeling all right? _

_PICARD: Who's the captain of this ship? _

_DATA: Captain Thomas Halloway. Perhaps I should escort you to Sickbay. _

_PICARD: No. I can find my own way there. Thank you, Commander._

_[Doctor's office]_

_PICARD: Beverly, something's happened to me. I'm not sure _

_Q: (German accent) Vell, vell, vell. Vhat seems to be de trouble, Lieutenant Picard? _

_PICARD: Q, what have you done? _

_Q: I've done exactly as I promised. I've returned you to the present. _

_PICARD: But this is not the present I remember. You said nothing would change. _

_Q: Nothing has changed, Jean-Luc, except for you. But then again, that's what you wanted, wasn't it? To change the man you were in your youth? Well, you did it. This is the man you are today. And you should be happy. You have a real heart beating in your chest, and you get to live out the rest of your life in safety, running tests, making analyses, and carrying reports to your superiors._

_[Ten Forward]_

_(Riker and Troi are at a table) _

_PICARD: Excuse me, am I interrupting? _

_RIKER: No, not at all. Have a seat. _

_PICARD: Thank you. I'd like to talk to you for a moment about my future on the Enterprise. _

_RIKER: Of course, Lieutenant. Jean-Luc, isn't it? _

_TROI: Maybe I should go. _

"Thanks Deanna!" said Picard sarcastically.

_PICARD: No, please, Counselor, I would very much like to hear your thoughts. First of all, and I would like you to be absolutely straightforward with me. How would you evaluate me as an officer? _

_TROI: Well, er, your performance records have always been good. You're thorough, dedicated. _

_RIKER: Reliable, steady, (searching desperately) punctual. _

_PICARD: I see. What would you say if I told you that I believed that I was capable of being very much more. _

_RIKER: Perhaps we should discuss this at your next evaluation. _

_PICARD: I would appreciate it if we could discuss it now. You see, I feel that I would like to move beyond astrophysics to Engineering or Security, something that might even lead to Command. _

_RIKER: Frankly, Lieutenant, I don't think that's realistic. _

"Such supportive crewmates I've got," said Picard. "Oh and Will, go to hell."

"Yes sir!" said Riker with a laugh.

_PICARD: Why? _

_TROI: I really don't think this is the place to be discussing this. _

_PICARD: Please. This is important to me. I believe that I can do more. _

_TROI: Hasn't that been the problem all along? Throughout your career you've had lofty goals, but you've never been willing to do what's necessary to attain them. _

_PICARD: Would that be your evaluation as well, Commander? _

_RIKER: I think I have to agree with the Counselor. If you want to get ahead, you have to take chances, stand out in a crowd, get noticed._

_PICARD: I see. _

_RIKER: Now, we don't want to lose you. You're a very good officer. _

_PICARD: Just not one who stands out. _

_RIKER: Why don't I talk to Commander La Forge in Engineering and we'll see what we can do. _

_PICARD: But, Command? _

_RIKER: Well, we'll see. _

_DATA [OC]: Senior officers, please report to the Captain's Ready room. _

_RIKER: Acknowledged. _

_TROI: We should talk about this later. _

_(Riker and Troi leave) _

_PICARD: All right, Q, that's enough. You've made your point. Q? _

_LAFORGE [OC]: La Forge to Lieutenant Picard. I'm still waiting for that statistical analysis. _

_PICARD: I'm on my way, sir._

_[Turbolift]_

_PICARD: Main Engineering. Are you having a good laugh now, Q? Does it amuse you to think of me living out the rest of my life as a dreary man in a tedious job?_

_[Limbo]_

_Q: I gave you something most mortals never experience. A second chance at life. And now all you can do is complain? _

_PICARD: I can't live out my days as that person. That man is bereft of passion and imagination. That is not who I am. _

_Q: Au contraire, he's the person you wanted to be. One who was less arrogant, and undisciplined as a youth. One who was less like me. The John-Luc Picard you wanted to be, the one who did not fight the Nausicaan, had quite a different career from the one you remember. That Picard never had a brush with death, never came face to face with his own mortality, never realized how fragile life is or how important each moment must be. So his life never came into focus. He drifted for much of his career, with no plan or agenda, going from one assignment to the next, never seizing the opportunities that presented themselves. He never lead the away team on Milika Three to save the ambassador, or take charge of the Stargazer's Bridge when it's Captain was killed. And no one ever offered him a command. He learned to play it safe. And he never, ever got noticed by anyone. _

_PICARD: You're right, Q. You gave me the chance to change and I took the opportunity. But I admit now, it was a mistake. _

_Q: Are you asking me for something, John-Luc? _

_PICARD: Give me a chance to put things back the way they were before. _

_Q: Before you died in Sickbay. Is that what you want? _

_PICARD: I would rather die as the man I was than live the life I just saw._

_[Bonestell Facility casino]_

_NAUSICAAN: Coward. Like all Starfleet. You talk and you talk but you have no guramba. _

_PICARD: What did you say? _

_NAUSICAAN: I said, you are a coward. _

_PICARD: That's what I thought you said. _

_(And Picard hits the Nausicaan. Corey and Marta take on the other two but don't do nearly as well. Finally Picard gets stabbed, sees the knife sticking out of his chest, and laughs)_

_[Sickbay]_

"Well, it was fun while it lasted," said Q.

_({Picard is laughing on the biobed) _

_CRUSHER: His vital signs are stable. Captain. Jean-Luc. You've been injured, but I think you're going to be all right._

_[Observation lounge]_

_PICARD: I still don't know what to make of it. Was it a dream? Was it one of Q's elaborate tricks? _

_RIKER: A lot of people near death have talked about strange experiences, but I've never heard one so detailed. _

_PICARD: And, you know, there's still a part of me that cannot accept that Q would give me a second chance, or that he would demonstrate so much compassion. And if it was Q, I owe him a debt of gratitude. _

"Well I'm waiting," said Q. Picard ignored him.

_RIKER: In what sense? It sounds like he put you through hell. _

_PICARD: There are many parts of my youth that I'm not proud of. There were loose threads, untidy parts of me that I would like to remove. But when I pulled on one of those threads it unraveled the tapestry of my life. _

_RIKER: I was just trying to imagine a hell-bent for leather young officer insulting a Nausicaan twice his size. I wish I'd had a chance to know that John-Luc Picard. _

_PICARD: Oh, well, to tell the truth, that wasn't the first run-in I'd had with a couple of surly Nausicaans. _

_RIKER: Really? _

_PICARD: Oh, yes. During my sophomore year, I was assigned to training on Morikin Seven. Well, there was a Nausicaan outpost on one of the outlying asteroids, and one day…_

"Thoroughly entertained?" asked Q.

"I hope you are," snapped Picard. "Now if you excuse me, I have business to attend to. But I'd love to see more later. I'll contact you when I'm free," he said to Riker and Troi. "And Q, stay away!"

"I thought you enjoyed my company! It spiced up your life! Besides, without me, you've got no plot!"

"Just leave!" said Picard.

"Fine! But I don't promise not to return!" said Q, disappearing.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Leave a review saying what your favorite episode is and maybe I'll write a chapter for it! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


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